I'm a newlywed - what can I do to keep my husband happy for the next 50 years?
I'm looking for the best marital advice out there that a newlywed can learn from!
Think about what made him fall in love with you in the first place and continue being that. Don't nag him all the time but make your feelings known. Let him have his freedom and time for friends. Laugh and joke a lot. Continue having dates. Keep the sex life raw and fun. Basically nothing should change now you're married. Congratulations by the way, I hope you had a great wedding and honeymoon!
Take things week by week.
When people RELAX and stop doing the things that won their mate's heart things gradually start to fall apart!
It's almost a cliché to hear someone say:
"She/he is not the same person I feel in love with."
When couples exchange vows it's with a "hypothetical" mindset.
In "real life": Outside events and circumstances shape future outcomes!
Communication is the GPS for relationships: It lets you know whether you're "growing together" or " growing apart".
Ideally the goal is to choose someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the marriage that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain them, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys.
Having said that the future is always uncertain! Lots of things could change the dynamics of a marriage over time.
Maybe if you have children one of you will feel more stressed concerning caring for them and raising them. Someone's parent may become ill, a sibling may show up at your doorstep looking to stay with you for a while, one or both you lose your job and bills mount up, one of you develops health problems which effects your interest or ability to have sex and last but not least one of you reaches the conclusion that you're (not living the life you wanted) and want to make some changes.
If your partner is onboard great but if they're not you'll have a tough decision. Life is a (personal) journey. You are responsible for your own happiness. The reality is it takes (two people) make a marriage work but only (one person) to walk away or end it.
Anyone who has a measure of self-esteem has "deal breakers" and "boundaries". It's possible your spouse may do something that causes (you) to want out! For some it's cheating, verbal/physical abuse, or addictions.
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Staying married for the wrong reasons is just as bad as getting married for the wrong reasons. It's creating a self-imposed prison.
Life is too short!
In other instances people expect their mate to "change".
If either of you has to "change" your core being to make the marriage work it probably means you've chosen the wrong spouse
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships: We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them as (is) or move on.
The choice is up to us!
My parents had their 50th wedding anniversary this year. As I sat across from them at the family reunion, I thought to myself, "they look so happy"! It`s nice to know that you intend to be married happily for the next 50 years like my parents. I think the key is to keep communicating at all times. Establishing a certain routine helps, for example, calling home when one of you gets off work.
Discussing problems when they arise is important too. Don`t put this off and leave it for another day.
Last but not least, a good sex life and a home cooked meal are key to keeping both of you happy!
Thanks so much for your reply! That's incredible that your parents have such a happy marriage after so many years. I too am blessed with parents who have remained married my whole life and happily so! That last little part made me lol - it's true!
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