If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Our human (ego) hates to be wrong or look foolish.
One old adage goes: "Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn."
Learning life's lessons are oftentimes painful experiences.
It's human nature to seek pleasure and want to avoid pain.
Speaking for myself, Swalia, I can see it clearly, for the Light of Meditation makes it obvious. Not a mistake, in the true sense, but an experience that makes me weak; affects the receptivity of the Soul.
It is not so much a learning, for when learnt, it will not repeat itself. Some say that it can take incarnations to master one virtue. I am afraid of the experience, but repeat it because there is a kind of subtle pleasure, accompanied by pain, which I suppose is part of the experience given for inner development or progress.
The Higher we go, the more the inner Pilot throws Light on the experience to illumine us and remove or minimise our darkness. Hari Om!
Why people are AFRAID to make mistakes:
(1)Mistakes are viewed as a regression to an earlier state. Mistakes does put one behind & h/she oftentimes have to begin again. If one make mistakes, h/she oftentimes have to correct those mistakes. This translates into if the mistakes weren't made, h/she would be further on a particular path than h/she is now.
(2)Mistakes denote failure & inadequacy & no one wants to be nor feel like a failure & inadequate. Failure & inadequacy further mean that one has fallen from grace. H/she is deemed worthless, even insignificant. One furthermore feel that there is a loss of prestige & respect from others, even being thought as lesser.
(3)In some cases, mistakes mean ruination, even destruction of goals. Oftentimes mistakes can impede promising outcomes. Mistakes can ruin good chances forever, making one settle for only the most mediocre, even the slightly negative. Mistakes result in never reaching the heights but instead having to settle & begrudgingly liking it.
(4)Mistakes mean living a half-life instead of the lifestyle one desires. Mistakes determine if one lives a limited or unlimited lifestyle. Mistakes can drastically reduce lifestyle options. Mistakes reduce present & future choices. Oftentimes, past mistakes close all future opportunities. Mistakes are viewed as a severe transgression which oftentimes result in a very unpromising, bleak, & dismal future.
(5)Mistakes are viewed as a taint or a blemish. Mistakes can follow one for the rest of one's life, even affecting future chances, choices, & opportunities. Mistakes is oftentimes the proverbial nail in the coffin so to speak. Mistakes can or may result in having a negative reputation which can be damaging. In essence, mistakes can be a permanent blight on one's record or standing.
(6) Mistakes mean that one is subpar, even stupid. It is believed that capable & proficient people don't make mistakes. Therefore, to make mistakes denote varying degrees of incapability & ineptitude. If that weren't the case, why make mistakes. It is even seen as the lack of intelligence in varying degrees to make mistakes e.g. our school grading system is based upon this very same premise.
As an analogy, imagine a mouse in a lab experiment. He is placed in a cage and starved for a number of days. Then two pieces of cheese are placed in front of him. He knows from memory that one will be poisoned and although not lethal will cause excruciating pain and discomfort. He has a vital imperative to eat and definitely should eat the cheese. Even both depending on how malnourished he is.
One scientist tries to consider the possibilities of what might take place:
1) He could be a smart mouse and decide to eat purely on the logical basis of survival. So definitely EAT.
3) He could be a smart mouse but subject to fear and decide on his action by weighing the consequences of eat vs noeat, live in pain for a while vs die. So definitely EAT.
2) He could be purely subject to impulse and instinct and not be very smart in which case his actions may be determined by the weight of his fear of pain against his will to survive. So EAT or NOEAT.
So that's 3 EATs and 1 NOEAT. He bets 3 to one mouse will eat at least one piece of cheese, but loses his money.
Similarly, it's not the mistake itself that people fear, it's the consequences that result. And of the consequence, it is not the objective outcome but the subjective outcome (the resulting experience) that is feared.
Why do we learn from our mistakes? Because we don't like pain. That is the imperative from which learning arises.
So to the question: If we learn from mistakes, why do we fear them?
The answer: We learn from our mistakes because we fear them.
In the end you see that we are not rational beings. We are the mouse guided by impulse and instinct. If we are a clever mouse we may overcome our fear with reason. If we overcome our fear enough it may become obsolete. At present, fear is necessary.
by Ashi 7 years ago
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
by ChilliWilly 13 years ago
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
by Jplanet 12 years ago
If we learn from our mistakes, then why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
by LensMan999 3 years ago
Why are people afraid of making mistakes?It is said that we learn from our mistakes. So why to be afraid of making a mistake?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 9 years ago
Why are some women afraid to be alone, oftentimes preferring to be in a less than positive/respectful, even abusive relationship rather than to be alone which they deem to be equivalent to being in the ninth circle of hell? There ARE women who fall for the societal inculcation that they are...
by gajanis 12 years ago
.......so afraid to make a mistake?
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