Are parents of same sex marriages capable of giving normal psycho social dev't

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (19 posts)
  1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
    rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years ago

    Are  parents of same sex marriages capable of giving normal psycho social dev't of their child?

    What is your opinion?
    The home is the first institution of learning. Children of heterosexual couples learn behavioral nuances of opposite sex from their mom and dad, in either case a male or a female child raised from same sex parents (two moms or two dads) are deprived of this knowledge which is vital for their normal interactions with their peers were majority came from heterosexual parents . They might be misunderstood as queers? Let us confine our discussion on academic ground

  2. Michaela Osiecki profile image69
    Michaela Osieckiposted 8 years ago

    First of all, what determines "normal" psycho-social development? You seem to assume here that children raised in same sex households will never have access to interactions between the opposite sexes and that's simply untrue. What I've discovered is that same-sex couples with children are often very concerned about making sure their children understand the harmful dynamics of gendered stereotypes and that there's a lot diversity among human behavior beyond "male" or "female".

    Most often, the "behavioral nuances" of the opposite sex are imposed societal gender norms that ought to be eradicated anyways.

    1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the comment, but remember that behavioral cues  from male or female parents are learned at home, OK you can eliminate that but   how will the child interact with society where her/his idea come only from either two moms or to dads?

    2. Keino C profile image60
      Keino Cposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      @ Rodrigo
      All things being equal, I think any child would be better off in a loving home with same sex parents than a dysfunctional home with hetero parents.

    3. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your observations Keino.

  3. Besarien profile image73
    Besarienposted 8 years ago

    Most children whether raised by same-sex partners or not know other adults besides their own parents- aunts and uncles, grandparents, best family friends, kind neighbors and caregivers. good teachers and coaches. My parents were not my only positive adult role-models. Were yours?

    A child is a huge responsibility for anyone and requires from any good parent a willingness to self-sacrifice for the well-being of that child. To be good parents we don't get to do whatever we want anymore. We have to put our kids first all the time.

    Heterosexual couples frequently have unplanned pregnancies too young, too poor, or when the relationship itself is a shambles. That can be a recipe for a child growing up feeling unwanted and unloved, along with all the problems that go with that.

    Same-sex couples have to work hard at it, sometimes for years, to get to be parents. As a result, children born or adopted into a same-sex relationship are at least intentional, and usually well-planned. well provided for, and deeply cherished.

    The right two moms or the right two dads can do a wonderful job of raising a kid. The wrong ones can mess up parenthood just as badly as the wrong heterosexual couple or the wrong single parent.

    One of my son's friends was raised by his maternal grandmother. He is a great kid, a good student, a good person who has a smile and a kind word for everyone. He also plays a stellar game of basketball. Even with one person, an opposite-sex parental figure on the job, he seems to be getting everything he needs to grow into a fine man. Would he have been better off with a mom and a dad? Maybe! Maybe not, though. It really depends on WHICH mom and WHICH dad he would have gotten.

    All parents are imperfect. However, if we try our very best, most of us can give a kid everything needed to grow up healthy, both physically and emotionally. Most terrible parents you hear about on the news are clearly not even trying to be good parents. Kids raised by terrible parents in a really bad relationship can still turn out well, of course; but it is harder for them.  They have to learn, by example, what not to do.  Anyhow, I have to think being well-loved and well-raised makes up for a lot including not having a parent of each sex as convenient positive adult role-models.

    1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your wonderful answer, Basarien.

  4. lisavollrath profile image90
    lisavollrathposted 8 years ago

    Using your logic, there would be no gay children of straight parents, because all they learned was how partners of the opposite sex respond to each other, and they had no gay or lesbian examples in their home.

    Of course, we know this not to be true. Straight parents can raise both straight and gay children, and all those children will grow up happy, healthy, and well adjusted when provided with a loving example of two committed parents. The same is true of children raised by gay or lesbian parents. Their children may grow up to be gay or straight, but they will also be happy and healthy when raised with two loving, committed parents.

    Put all those kids, from all their various parental combinations, on a playground together, and you won't be able to tell who is being raised by whom. Kids are kids. They learn how to interact with each other by actually interacting with each other.

    1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your very revailing answer, Lisa

  5. dashingscorpio profile image73
    dashingscorpioposted 8 years ago

    I guess one has to define what "normal psycho social development" is. If being gay was something "learned" from parents then there would be no so thing as gay and lesbian people. After all gay and lesbian people are the product of (heterosexual) couples!
    Every segment of society that is deemed as a minority has challenges whether it's the color of one's skin, their nationality, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or the sexual orientation of their parents.
    Even children born into the majority of marital households don't get to escape bullying incidents, playground fights, and various other forms of heartaches and disappointments children experience in life.
    In many ways your question seems to be in reverse.
    Can society accept children of same sex children?
    It's not the parents' fault that some folks in society discriminate.
    I believe in the long run with each new generation of people acceptance and tolerance improves. A few decades ago similar questions were being asked about children who had parents in an "interracial marriage". Nevertheless bullying & bigotry are here to stay. There will always be pockets of people that antagonize others.
    Kids get picked on for being a minority, skinny, overweight, bad acne, crooked teeth, crossed eyes, bowlegs, unusual last name or one that is easily made fun of, appearing weak, being a nerd, wearing thick eye glasses, being poor, or for the clothes they wear to school. Some kids will hate other kids because teachers and adults like them!
    No matter what type of household you come from during your childhood you going to have to navigate social obstacles.
    It's been said children are some of the cruelest people on earth. This is mainly due to (immaturity) and a (lack of empathy) for others.
    There's no escaping bullying issues regardless of one's household.

    1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I'm aware that diff. household show varying results in rearing children this Q is sp. to children raised in homosexual hhold from an  interview: that  deprived b'vioral cues how to act, behave  properly w/ opposite sex , bcame ridiculed, laughed at?

    2. dashingscorpio profile image73
      dashingscorpioposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      My point is gay people were raised in heterosexual households!
      Are you saying their parents deprived b'vioral cues how to act, behave properly w/ opposite sex. Parents don't teach boys to like girls or vice versa. That's (their) innate desire.

    3. jlpark profile image76
      jlparkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Rod - it's not like gay people don't interact with the opposite sex, we do it all the time. Are you trying to say that gay parents will make gay children? That's false, and how do U explain gay children of straight parents?!

  6. jlpark profile image76
    jlparkposted 8 years ago

    Gay people don't exist in a 'bubble of gayness'. We all have parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues who are opposite gendered to ourselves, and often straight.

    It also depends on how you define behaviours - what exactly do you mean by gender specific behaviours? That women should cook, clean and be emotional? That men should be doing 'manly' things like hunting, building, ordering the women around, and being tough? In case you hadn't noticed - these are societal constructs that are frowned on now - men can be emotional, women can be tough etc. So when you talk about the behaviours of opposite genders....what do you mean? Is it the sexist notion that women are weaker or 'real men don't cry' - what exact behaviours are
    Male only and female only that children in SS households would miss out on?

    Those who have children in a same sex relationship work hard to make sure that they have influence from all sides of the gender spectrum. For example, I am married to another woman, we have a daughter. I also have 7 sisters all of whom are straight, and married to their husbands, I have a father and a step father, I have several uncles, I have many more close straight friends than gay. My daughter will not miss out on the male influence in her life AT ALL. Nor will any sons we may have in the future.

    Rod - are you trying to learn about the LGBT community, or trying to find reasons for something? I only ask because recently you were convinced that gay couples couldn't have biological children (related to at least one of the couple) eg they were infertile because they were gay. Now that we have that cleared up, you wonder about the learned behaviours.

    If you are genuinely trying to learn, I would be happy to help and discuss whatever via email, or here. The offer is there, if you want it.

    Otherwise, I think that this is seeing a problem where there isn't one - plenty of solo parents raise children, where your theory would also fit because one person is usually only one gender. I think that people expect that gay people only associate with gay people or people of their own gender, forgetting we all come from families too, there is plenty of the other gender around everyone.

    1. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your commntsJacqui, I have 7 children, the 4th is  lesbian, but she's my favorite very caring and concerned.This Q emanate from an interview and trying to validate it here. If the person from Hhold is psychologically balanced?Socially fit?

    2. jlpark profile image76
      jlparkposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Aha! I think that children from same sex households are well balanced and socially fit. Studies show they are more empathetic. I have a hub about teens from same sex households that looks at several of these studies.

    3. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I am interested to read that hub, Jacqui.

    4. jlpark profile image76
      jlparkposted 8 years agoin reply to this
    5. rodrigo sebidos profile image68
      rodrigo sebidosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the input Jacqui.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)