Are parents of same sex marriages capable of giving normal psycho social dev't

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   rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years ago

   Are  parents of same sex marriages capable of giving normal psycho social dev't of their child?
   
   What is your opinion?
   The home is the first institution of learning. Children of heterosexual couples learn behavioral nuances of opposite sex from their mom and dad, in either case a male or a female child raised from same sex parents (two moms or two dads) are deprived of this knowledge which is vital for their normal interactions with their peers were majority came from heterosexual parents . They might be misunderstood as queers? Let us confine our discussion on academic ground
   
   

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   Michaela Osieckiposted 9 years ago

   First of all, what determines "normal" psycho-social development? You seem to assume here that children raised in same sex households will never have access to interactions between the opposite sexes and that's simply untrue. What I've discovered is that same-sex couples with children are often very concerned about making sure their children understand the harmful dynamics of gendered stereotypes and that there's a lot diversity among human behavior beyond "male" or "female".
   
   Most often, the "behavioral nuances" of the opposite sex are imposed societal gender norms that ought to be eradicated anyways.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the comment, but remember that behavioral cues  from male or female parents are learned at home, OK you can eliminate that but   how will the child interact with society where her/his idea come only from either two moms or to dads?

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      Keino Cposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      @ Rodrigo
      All things being equal, I think any child would be better off in a loving home with same sex parents than a dysfunctional home with hetero parents.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your observations Keino.

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   Besarienposted 9 years ago

   Most children whether raised by same-sex partners or not know other adults besides their own parents- aunts and uncles, grandparents, best family friends, kind neighbors and caregivers. good teachers and coaches. My parents were not my only positive adult role-models. Were yours?
   
   A child is a huge responsibility for anyone and requires from any good parent a willingness to self-sacrifice for the well-being of that child. To be good parents we don't get to do whatever we want anymore. We have to put our kids first all the time.
   
   Heterosexual couples frequently have unplanned pregnancies too young, too poor, or when the relationship itself is a shambles. That can be a recipe for a child growing up feeling unwanted and unloved, along with all the problems that go with that.
   
   Same-sex couples have to work hard at it, sometimes for years, to get to be parents. As a result, children born or adopted into a same-sex relationship are at least intentional, and usually well-planned. well provided for, and deeply cherished.
   
   The right two moms or the right two dads can do a wonderful job of raising a kid. The wrong ones can mess up parenthood just as badly as the wrong heterosexual couple or the wrong single parent.
   
   
   One of my son's friends was raised by his maternal grandmother. He is a great kid, a good student, a good person who has a smile and a kind word for everyone. He also plays a stellar game of basketball. Even with one person, an opposite-sex parental figure on the job, he seems to be getting everything he needs to grow into a fine man. Would he have been better off with a mom and a dad? Maybe! Maybe not, though. It really depends on WHICH mom and WHICH dad he would have gotten.
   
   All parents are imperfect. However, if we try our very best, most of us can give a kid everything needed to grow up healthy, both physically and emotionally. Most terrible parents you hear about on the news are clearly not even trying to be good parents. Kids raised by terrible parents in a really bad relationship can still turn out well, of course; but it is harder for them.  They have to learn, by example, what not to do.  Anyhow, I have to think being well-loved and well-raised makes up for a lot including not having a parent of each sex as convenient positive adult role-models.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your wonderful answer, Basarien.

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   lisavollrathposted 9 years ago

   Using your logic, there would be no gay children of straight parents, because all they learned was how partners of the opposite sex respond to each other, and they had no gay or lesbian examples in their home.
   
   Of course, we know this not to be true. Straight parents can raise both straight and gay children, and all those children will grow up happy, healthy, and well adjusted when provided with a loving example of two committed parents. The same is true of children raised by gay or lesbian parents. Their children may grow up to be gay or straight, but they will also be happy and healthy when raised with two loving, committed parents.
   
   Put all those kids, from all their various parental combinations, on a playground together, and you won't be able to tell who is being raised by whom. Kids are kids. They learn how to interact with each other by actually interacting with each other.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your very revailing answer, Lisa

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   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   
   
   I guess one has to define what "normal psycho social development" is. If being gay was something "learned" from parents then there would be no so thing as gay and lesbian people. After all gay and lesbian people are the product of (heterosexual) couples!
   Every segment of society that is deemed as a minority has challenges whether it's the color of one's skin, their nationality, religious beliefs, sexual orientation or the sexual orientation of their parents.
   Even children born into the majority of marital households don't get to escape bullying incidents, playground fights, and various other forms of heartaches and disappointments children experience in life.
   In many ways your question seems to be in reverse.
   Can society accept children of same sex children?
   It's not the parents' fault that some folks in society discriminate.
   I believe in the long run with each new generation of people acceptance and tolerance improves. A few decades ago similar questions were being asked about children who had parents in an "interracial marriage". Nevertheless bullying & bigotry are here to stay. There will always be pockets of people that antagonize others.
   Kids get picked on for being a minority, skinny, overweight, bad acne, crooked teeth, crossed eyes, bowlegs, unusual last name or one that is easily made fun of, appearing weak, being a nerd, wearing thick eye glasses, being poor, or for the clothes they wear to school. Some kids will hate other kids because teachers and adults like them!
   No matter what type of household you come from during your childhood you going to have to navigate social obstacles.
   It's been said children are some of the cruelest people on earth. This is mainly due to (immaturity) and a (lack of empathy) for others.
   There's no escaping bullying issues regardless of one's household.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I'm aware that diff. household show varying results in rearing children this Q is sp. to children raised in homosexual hhold from an  interview: that  deprived b'vioral cues how to act, behave  properly w/ opposite sex , bcame ridiculed, laughed at?

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      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      My point is gay people were raised in heterosexual households!
      Are you saying their parents deprived b'vioral cues how to act, behave properly w/ opposite sex. Parents don't teach boys to like girls or vice versa. That's (their) innate desire.

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      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Rod - it's not like gay people don't interact with the opposite sex, we do it all the time. Are you trying to say that gay parents will make gay children? That's false, and how do U explain gay children of straight parents?!

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   jlparkposted 9 years ago

   Gay people don't exist in a 'bubble of gayness'. We all have parents, siblings, relatives, friends, colleagues who are opposite gendered to ourselves, and often straight.
   
   It also depends on how you define behaviours - what exactly do you mean by gender specific behaviours? That women should cook, clean and be emotional? That men should be doing 'manly' things like hunting, building, ordering the women around, and being tough? In case you hadn't noticed - these are societal constructs that are frowned on now - men can be emotional, women can be tough etc. So when you talk about the behaviours of opposite genders....what do you mean? Is it the sexist notion that women are weaker or 'real men don't cry' - what exact behaviours are
   Male only and female only that children in SS households would miss out on?
   
   Those who have children in a same sex relationship work hard to make sure that they have influence from all sides of the gender spectrum. For example, I am married to another woman, we have a daughter. I also have 7 sisters all of whom are straight, and married to their husbands, I have a father and a step father, I have several uncles, I have many more close straight friends than gay. My daughter will not miss out on the male influence in her life AT ALL. Nor will any sons we may have in the future.
   
   Rod - are you trying to learn about the LGBT community, or trying to find reasons for something? I only ask because recently you were convinced that gay couples couldn't have biological children (related to at least one of the couple) eg they were infertile because they were gay. Now that we have that cleared up, you wonder about the learned behaviours.
   
   If you are genuinely trying to learn, I would be happy to help and discuss whatever via email, or here. The offer is there, if you want it.
   
   Otherwise, I think that this is seeing a problem where there isn't one - plenty of solo parents raise children, where your theory would also fit because one person is usually only one gender. I think that people expect that gay people only associate with gay people or people of their own gender, forgetting we all come from families too, there is plenty of the other gender around everyone.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your commntsJacqui, I have 7 children, the 4th is  lesbian, but she's my favorite very caring and concerned.This Q emanate from an interview and trying to validate it here. If the person from Hhold is psychologically balanced?Socially fit?

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      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Aha! I think that children from same sex households are well balanced and socially fit. Studies show they are more empathetic. I have a hub about teens from same sex households that looks at several of these studies.

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I am interested to read that hub, Jacqui.

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      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Cause you asked - http://hubpages.com/family/Teenagers-of … g-Normally

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      rodrigo sebidosposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for the input Jacqui.

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