Is it a myth that, as adults, we need to be loved?

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   Billie Kelpinposted 7 years ago

   Is it a myth that, as adults, we need to be loved?
   
   I don't mean for this to be a silly question. Being loved, especially by those whom YOU love, is a wonderful feeling - perhaps THE most wonderful feeling in the world.Songs and novels abound about the pain of broken love  I'm just wondering if the perpetuated notion that the NEED to be loved is essential to adult human growth and potential is just that - a perpetuated belief. Is there any one out there who feels they simply don't need to be loved? I'd like to explore this topic in a philosophical way and examine what we believe about being loved.   Can we come to some conclusions?
   
   

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   threekeysposted 7 years ago

   LOVE. Big Word. I hear Japanese men prefer the company of men and robots. Japanese woman have to adapt to the loss of their men to now self love at least physically. I believe (hearsay) that some of Gen Y and Gen X are following the same trend.The ancient Greeks understood LOVE comes in different forms yet our English language holds few daily terms to express the actions/feelings of love. I don't know but something is going on. Men seem to like men or the company of men. The females dislike other females. So its a lose-lose for the female gender. Why?? I really don't know. However in saying that our species needs each other. We are humans need each other for connection and kin. But there are times we need to have sabbaticals to heal or regroup. I need and want a new defintion of the word LOVE.  The best I can do here for you Billie is use the boring and uncolourful word care. Care means to me I" feel tenderness" for another and tenderness for myself. Just don't come near me if LOVE means possession or obsession to you. For too long I have been surrounded by people who have (to me) a defintion of LOVE that hurts. LOVE to me means "I want the best for you...I am so happy that you are a part of my life..you bring out the best in me"..LOVE does not hurt another. And if THAT kind of LOVE is not forthcoming then I feel you are better off to go into self care self love mode.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There was a quote I read years and years ago.  "Love is the active concern for another's welfare."  Perhaps the need to love is more important than the need to BE loved.

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      manatita44posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, Billie. "He who loves never grows old. God is a shining example." - Sri Chinmoy.

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   manatita44posted 7 years ago

   Well, my Sweet Billie, I'm tired today, but yes, nice and necessary question. This whole Universe is based on Love and indeed it is really why the Spiritual Masters come - to teach us of this Higher Love.
   
   Let's just keep it simple for a while. In Maslow's Hierachy of Human Needs, he presents a hierachical chart that covers this question. First we need food, shelter, air, water, the essentials, then we gradually move to our self-esteem needs.
   
   In the spiritual life, we sometimes or mostly separate Love in two categories: Human love and Love Divine. In human love there is bargaining, expectation, possesion .... Divine Love is like a bird that cannot be caged.
   
   Again, at a much Higher level, we say that there is only Love; the difference is only a matter of degree, greater or lesser Light, if you like. So the man running after alcohol is looking for Love. The one with fast cars or family or counting the millions, are also looking for Love. All is a quest for this Higher Love as it is the very pulse of Life; the very ground of Being; The Source of all Sources. Hope this helps. Much Love, Billie.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Manatita, I have always been fascinated with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.  It was just a simple, yet insightful way to look at human nature.  It's interesting how deprivation at the lower levels can block self-actualization.  You have a lovely view.

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      manatita44posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. Love is as old and eternal as Love Itself. Ha ha. I made that one up! Probably true, in so far as it's another name for God.

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   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   We're a social species, and we want to belong. While love is the ideal, most of us NEED to have close emotional ties to be healthy.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Tamara, Thank you for your response. You hit  3 important words in relation to the discussion:  social species, close emotional ties, and healthy

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   Matthew Woolseyposted 7 years ago

   Since I like myth's I'll bite. I have a fascination with the myth of dragons. People say there is always some truth to a myth. So yes to your answer and also no at the same time. Like the myth of the dragon we hear of it's existence, but have no proof they existed. Love is a myth, we can't really prove of it's existence.

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      Billie Kelpinposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      lovely answer, Matthew

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