How did you rationalize staying with your partner after infidelity?
Not personally but from conversations:
* If they divorce, they won't see the Dad as often, and boys need Dad in the house to stay under control. So she tolerates the affair.
* He's come out as homosexual, but she doesn't want to break up the family, so she stayed with him with limited permission for cheating on the side so that he was still in the home, and more importantly, not dividing his finances and hurting their quality of life by selling the home and having less money for the household because he had to move out.
* Assumptions that men just do that, so puts up with it.
* They have young children, and she'd rather be a cheated on partner than a single mother
I dont have personal experience but from what I have;heard and seen, the person being cheated on, has lower self esteem after and blame themselves for it and want to fix it.Even though they did NOTHING wrong...Message to all those that were betrayed __Never blame yourself.
I can't imagine ever staying with someone who cheated on me.
However I've heard a variety of reasons why people do.
1. They blame themselves in some way.(took their mate for granted/neglect or the "other woman/man" is seen as a competitor who must be defeated. Never surrender!
2. The thought of divorce was too much after the shock of the betrayal. Felt they'd "invested" too many years to just walk away.
3. Really didn't care because they are there for financial reasons.
4. Had children together, established a solid image in the community.
5. Too proud to admit friends/parents were right about him/her.
6. Fear/hate starting over and getting back into the dating scene.
7. The cheating was a meaningless one-night stand and not an affair.
8. Doesn't believe in divorce under any circumstances. (Work on it)
9. They have no interest in sex. Being discrete is what matters most.
10. Still very much "in love" and can't imagine living without him/her.
Last but no least they are cheating too!
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