Have you fall in love in a married person? How did you handle things like that?

1. 62

   krischavezposted 7 years ago

   Have you fall in love in a married person? How did you handle things like that?
   
   I have a friend telling me that she fell in love with her boss. They had sex, dates and almost every week her boss drop in her office to pick her up. But of course, I understand the situation, that she just love the person, I know it is wrong but I am not on her situation to judge her.

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2. 69

   Aime Fposted 7 years ago

   That's a sad situation for both the guy's poor wife and your friend. 
   
   When you think you're in love with someone the lines can blur.  But a mistress will always come in second.  Even if he says she's his #1, he's still married and he still has obligations to his wife.  He will always go home to her and spend most of his time with her and push your friend the side if needed.  If that wasn't the case then he'd be willing to end his marriage for your friend.  If he's still married then he's not willing to end things with his wife and that speaks volumes. 
   
   The guy is knowingly playing with and hurting two women that he claims to love... is that the kind of guy your friend really wants to be with?

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   1. 62

      krischavezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Aime, I guess no. She has this so called boyfriend and together for almost 1 year and 7 months. But true feelings goes to the married man and not to his boyfriend. Yep! You said it right and totally agree with your opinion. I hope i could tell her

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3. 86

   tamarawilhiteposted 7 years ago

   Tell her to imagine herself as the wife who finds out her husband has cheated.
   Now remind her that if he marries her, he is prone to do exactly that to her.

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   1. 62

      krischavezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Feel so sorry for her, I'm afraid of telling her because I know she will get hurt, but as a friend, I'll tell her your opinion. Thank you Tamara

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   2. 86

      tamarawilhiteposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      And if she is involved with him, she will have hurt the other woman while getting involved with a man she knows is prone to cheating. She should find a single man who will be faithful to her.

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   3. 62

      krischavezposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Sad to say, she has a boyfriend and they are together for almost 1 year. But her heart goes really to the married man. But of course the married man, has no obligations with her, so better to stop the relation once in for all.

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4. 81

   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   I saw in one of your comments you mentioned that your friend also has a boyfriend.
   Essentially you have two people cheating on their significant others. I suspect part of the appeal for your friend is he is her boss as well as being married.  (Forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest.)
   Secrecy & obstacles have a way of intensifying romance.
   "No one understands us...We never meant for this to happen.. We met the love of our lives (at the wrong time)...Life has played a cruel joke on us..." All of sudden the cheaters want sympathy/empathy!
   All the above are standard clichés cheating lovers use to define their circumstances. The reality is cheating is a choice!
   It didn't just "happen". They (wanted) it!
   Your friend doesn't care about his wife and I'm sure he doesn't care about her boyfriend. In fact it creates a "perfect cover" for them.
   Contrary to popular opinion statistics show that the majority of cheating relationships take place in the workplace as oppose to online connections.
   When it comes to dating/relationships most of them end in breakups. In fact it's been reported in the U.S. that divorce hovers around 50%.
   If there's a 50% failure rate after exchanging vows with someone you can only imagine how the failure rate is among people having flings.
   Nevertheless I have no intention to be judgmental.
   All you can do is find out if your friend is being delusional which appears to be the case if she believes she is "in love". 
   The only reason most married men would leave their wife for their mistress is because they were (forced) to! The wife wants out!
   Generally speaking most cheaters don't cheat for the purpose of (replacing) one relationship with another.
   Their goal is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" whatever they are on the side.
   Essentially the "other" person helps them to STAY or tolerate a relationship that is missing some elements they deem important.
   Heartache ensues when one believes they are going to step into someone's life become the stepmother/stepfather and live happily ever after.
   For the average married couple a divorce represents a major change in their living standards. This is one of the reasons why some people choose to cheat over running down to the courthouse to file for divorce, moving out of their home into an apartment, pay child support/alimony, become a weekend dad, and divide up friends/family as they choose sides.
   Cheaters don't expect to get caught!

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