What advice would you give to a couple with trust issues?
Many marriages end because of trust issues resulting from infidelity and other issues of lack of integrity. What help could a couple with such problems receive?
There is a reason you always think he's texting his ex ... even when he's not.
Resolving trust issues starts with learning to truly trust yourself, before you can trust someone else.
Once upon a time, some early human screwed up and gave some other early human a reason to distrust. And from that seed blossomed "trust issues." Around the globe, in bedrooms, boardrooms, and even on playgrounds, we've become a society built on trust issues.
To trust someone, without having trust issues, is to trust ourselves enough to reveal our authentic selves fully.
GASP! You mean it requires being totally transparent, saying what's on my mind, asking for what I desire ... and THAT will eliminate trust issues in my relationship? Um, yeah! It all starts with you, baby, quickly followed by how you choose to respond to those little annoying possibilities that your partner throws at you—consciously or unconsciously—that triggers your belief that they can (or can't) be trusted.
See, it's all about you and your trust issues, in the same manner as it's all about your partner and their trust issues. That being said ... how do you resolve trust issues when they arise?
I'd love to say, take a cue from my side of the fence (a.k.a. gay men) but, unfortunately, we don't handle trust issues any better than the rest of the human population. (Surprise, surprise!)
But in our defense, and defense of gays and lesbians everywhere, we've been conditioned not to trust. From the first moment we swished our hips a little too much when we walked, or got caught playing with GI Joe in the mud, while still wearing our Mary Janes and Sunday dress, we've learned to keep our defenses up and not trust anyone who might find out our "secret".
But, we all have trust issues, and if you say you don't then I don't trust you! (Just joking.) So, here are five tips that will help you trust more easily and openly in your life:
1. Trust Yourself
I know it's already been said, but this is truly the starting point of resolving trust issues. In the somewhat similar words of Ru Paul, "If you can't trust yourself, how the hell ya ever going to trust someone else?" (Uh hum! Preach, sistah!)
2. Define What Trust Means
... for you and your partner. Hello, we ain't mind readers, and if you believe you are, then why are you having trust issues? You'd already know what your partner is thinking.
Unless you're some kind of paranoid, jealous, or naturally insecure person you shouldn't ignore your gut instinct and (force yourself) to trust anyone! Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
Never separate your mind from your heart when making relationship decisions. The purpose of the mind is to protect the heart.
Honesty + Integrity (over time) = Trust
If something doesn't (feel right) to you it's probably not right for (you).
I would say depending on how long you have been together that you seek advice from an outside party. Trying to fix trust issues on your own can be hard. I was in a long term relationship and I found out he was lying for many years the relationship was never the same afterward. I didn't trust not one word he said after that. Once you break a persons trust it is very hard to get it back.
by Monae933 years ago
Why do women have such big trust issues?
by StricktlyDating5 years ago
What's the best way to overcome trust issues?When you've been hurt in your prior relationships.
by seriousnuts18 months ago
Do you get jealous when your partner gets too close to a friend of the opposite sex?How do you deal with it?
by Wayne Brown6 years ago
What is your best advice for a happy marriage?
by Carolee Samuda24 months ago
How do you fix a relationship whose trust has been broken by infidelity?
by Moronke Oluwatoyin3 years ago
Can anyone please explain this phrase, ''Don't trust yourself.''I say it's right not to trust people, GOD also command that we put not our trust in man. But what I don't understand is not to trust oneself. Is this...
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