Does Love have everything to do in a marriage?
Marriage is a commitment and when you marry you expect to be together till death do us part. Do you think love is the only part of a marriage? Is there more to a marriage than just love?
Love is only one aspect of a marriage.
Compatibility, sharing the same values, wanting the same things for the marriage and having romantic chemistry are very important.
A commitment isn't written in stone. There is no "unconditional love".
Everyone is entitled to have their own "deal breakers" and boundaries!
If for example a wife's husband became verbally/physical abusive over the years she shouldn't feel "obligated" to stay married to him because "marriage is a commitment".
A commitment is an agreement and once the parties no longer are in agreement then staying together is just a self-made prison.
A divorce is nothing more than a public admission that a "mistake" was made in someone's mate selection process.
Human beings make mistakes! This also applies to their selection of boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses.
Ironically there are many things for which someone would advice a person NOT to get married and yet after they are married those same people would tell them those things are not a good reason for divorce!
For example most people would advise you not to marry someone you do not love! However if you are married and "fall out of love" many of those people would tell you to stay married!
The same holds true for cheating. If your boyfriend cheated on you odds are you would not see him as husband material. However when a woman's husband cheats on her many find themselves going against their principles looking for ways to justify staying.
I personally believe you should marry and stay married for the same reasons! If a situation would have kept you from marrying someone you shouldn't feel obligated to stay married when it arises later on.
Staying together while not being "in love" short changes not only you but also one's spouse. That's time both of them could have potentially spent with other people who would have loved and appreciated them.
The sad thing is most people don't believe being "unhappy" is a good enough reason to get a divorce. However as I noted no one would advise you to marry someone you were unhappy with.
I'm not talking about just being unhappy for few days or weeks.
It's this belief system that probably causes more people to cheat and have affairs. They're cheating in order to STAY or tolerate unhappy marriages. Naturally when it comes to cheating people do so for numerous reasons. Most have no desire to divorce.
Love isn't everything in a marriage but without it it's not much of a marriage! A "loveless marriage" must feel like a slow death.
Sometimes marriages are arranged and in those cases, love has nothing to do with it. It's simply a commitment. In cases where people come together because they love each other, commitment is very important. I think it is a mistake to marry only for love. Marry because you want to be with that person for the rest of your life - as if they are a part of you and you don't want to live without them.
I disagree with the normal majority on this. There is the concept that love resides in the heart - leave the technicalities and glands and brain function alone.
If our hearts are so filled with love then everything else is just trying to get in and wasting it's time. Hey, you picked your spouse, if you look for the good you will surely find it. If you look for the problems you also will surely find them.
Love does not do that, hopefully Christian or not everyone has read the classic "love is" that is read at so many marriages. If you get up in the morning and fill yourself with those nearly tangible assets you just ain't got no room or time to go bad.
But the way you ask the question makes me add to this. I have been unemployed and feeling worthless - give me a job and I have self esteem and acceptable pride. Take that job away again and I feel horrible again. Marriage is a job to keep running well oiled. It takes worth and it takes effort. If we can get our cognitive function wrapped around the concept that a healthy marriage is a pinnacle of a healthy life then we gather healthy pride and self esteem and put the effort into it.
What do you think makes you a great person? For me it is my children first and my wife immediately almost inseparably next. Marriage is even a step above priority one. If we get that then all those things in Paul's writing of love come true. And the marriage remains sacrosanct.
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