Chris Rock filed for a divorce after 19 years of marriage: "I Was Just Tired of Being Married."
If you give him the "benefit of the doubt" that there is no mistress in hiding or some other person he has his sights on; Do you find his reason for filing for divorce to be refreshingly honest? Rather than bad mouth the soon to be ex he's essentially saying he's no longer "in love" and tired of being married. Had he opted to cheat the way (most unhappily married men do) everyone would be saying; "He should have left if he was so unhappy!" Is being "unhappy" enough of a reason to move on from a marriage? If the choice is to leave or stay and cheat to pursue happiness; Isn't leaving better?
Wow! this is a tough one. Can you post the link to the article where Chris gave his reason for wanting a divorce? I had not yet heard of this news but I saw his latest movie. It was different but very good.
On one hand, it is good that he didn't cheat, and that he is honest. But on the other hand, he should see a counselor. Why is he tired of being married? He gave an oath in front of this woman, God, and his family, that he would love her until death do they part. He's kind of a "quitter" for bailing out on her. What's he got going on that is better than 19 years of friendship and commitment?
Tired means "I'm not in love." Would you marry someone who didn't love you? If not would you want someone to stay with you who didn't love you? For man to file for divorce and give up millions of dollars I suspect there was serious contemplation.
That's what marriage counselors are there for.
Stargrrl, Have you ever gone to a marriage counselor? Trust me they cannot make someone be "in love" with you. Counseling only works for couples who WANT to stay together. If one person has mentally & emotionally checked out it's usually over.
I just heard last night and was shocked, as well as disappointed. I hadn't heard his reason until now. Wow. Really? I hate to see another marriage go down the tubes. I thought there was more stability in that marriage. I guess you never know. It's very sad to me. To answer your question, heck no, I don't think being unhappy is a reason to divorce. Unless there's more to the story and they did already try to repair what was broken, I wish he could look beyond his "unhappiness," address what that's really about, and honor the commitment. Say Whaaaat . . . . Chris, say it ain't so.
THANK YOU DEAREST DR. UNHAPPINESS is NO REASON for getting a divorce. If there are minor problems in a marriage, those problems should be worked out. Marriage is a give and take situation. That is what grown ups do-work out these minor problems.
Unhappiness is code for NOT "in love". This isn't one of those 72 day celebrity marriages. He's had 19 years to look at the big picture. This woman deserves to be married to a man who does love her! Would you want a man who (didn't) love you?
Definitely NOT! I believe that marriage should be based upon truth. If a couple no longer love each other or have grown apart, divorce SHOULD be. It is not good to live a HYPOCRITICAL LIE!
Firstly, he shouldn't married in the first place. Marraige is a lifetime, even though if you are bored being married looking at the same old hag face for the past 30 years or 20 years of yr life, you still stay on. So, he did a mistake.
I see quite a few people feel that being "tired" or "unhappy" is not a just cause to end a 19 year marriage.
I think you may not be considering a few things. The words "tired" or "unhappy" are code words for "I'm not in love."
Would you knowingly marry anyone who didn't love you?
Why would you want someone to stay with you who didn't love you?
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
Whenever someone is in a relationship or married to a person who does NOT love them. Generally speaking it's only a matter of time before they mistreat them in some way.
(Cheating, verbal/physical abuse or various acts of inconsideration)
If this was a one year marriage or a Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries thing where someone wanted out after only 72 days I could understand viewing their decision as possibly being immature
However this couple has been married for almost 20 years! Clearly they've had some ups and downs in the past and stayed together.
For a (man) to get to a point where (he) is the one filing for divorce and giving up Million$ of dollars, alimony, and child support...odds are he didn't make this decision lightly.
Would you really encourage a girlfriend, sister, or co-worker to stay with a man who didn't love her? If a man is willing to give you millions of dollars to get out of his life that's a major (clue) about his feelings concerning you and the marriage. Don't ignore "red flags".
My hope is it's not so bad "out there" that women would encourage each other to stay with men whom they know don't love them!
In my opinion to do so would be the ultimate definition of "settling"!
This woman hopefully has enough self-esteem to realize she deserves to be with a man who (does) love her!
At the very least a marriage should contain (two people) who WANT to be married! Marriage counseling only works for couples who Still LOVE one another and (want) to stay together. One man's opinion!
If a person does not love you,there is NO need to stay married to that person.That is only logical.An actress reported that her parents constantly argued & stayed together because of HER However, the abuse escalated until the mother shot the fath
gmwilliams; That's a crazy story! And yet we often hear about a spouse killing their mate and trying to get away with it. The Laci Peterson case in CA and the Stacy Peterson case in IL quickly come to mind. Divorce is way better than murder!
Is being unhappy enough reason to move on from a marriage? I guess it depends on why he is unhappy.
My question is, WHERE was Chris Rock 19 years ago? Was he famous, or struggling financially, and an unknown? When did he become a celebrity?
I have seen on American Idol where the contestants get so well known during the contest that they dump their girl or boy friend. All of a sudden fame has made them 'too good' for dating an unknown.
I really cannot truthfully answer this question until I know more facts.
IF you truly love your spouse there is no way you could be 'tired' of being married. THAT statement to me is a bomb...I'm thinking he wants to freedom to go out, date, hook up and 'do' what he wants with his being a celebrity. I know that sounds judgmental, but I have to say I have lost respect for him. And my condolences to the wife who is probably hurting. That being said I WILL visit TMZ to get more facts. In any event a marriage breakup is always painful for at least one of the spouses....it hurts real bad. I know because my husband of 8 years left me for his secretary. Very painful. Blessings Sparklea
Sparklea, Chris Rock was a very well known and successful stand up comedian before he got married. He use to be a regular on Saturday Night Live 24yrs ago, appeared in movies, worked with Eddie Murphy..etc Being "tired" means he is not "in love".
Thank you dashingscorpio for clarifying this. You are 100 percent correct: Being 'tired' truly means he is not 'in love.' You hit the nail on the head. Personally I have never cared for Chris Rock. I find him to be annoying.
He's tired of being married? What kind of bunk is that. Marriage is a 24/7/365 job that we choose to take on hopefully for the rest of our life, people don't just get up one day and say "Oh, I'm tired of being married. I think I will just junk it all."
No, there must be some deeper underlying reason for his decision. Being tired of a lifetime commitment or being being unhappily married are not reasons for divorce. Divorce really has no winners in it, so why go there in the first place?
"Being tired of a lifetime commitment or being (unhappily married) are not reasons for divorce" Really?
Not being in love or "unhappy" isn't enough? Happily married people don't file for divorce! Doesn't his wife deserve a man who does love her?
And who said that he doesn't love her. The press is that he is tired of being married. Perhaps it's the other way around.
If your spouse files for a divorce from you it sure doesn't appear that they're "in love" with you. Actions speak louder than words!
Chris Rock has made it clear that (he) is the one filing for the divorce. He doesn't want to be with her anymore
Not to start an argument, but that is what I was saying if you read my comment.
Billy I'm not arguing with you. I was just responding to the first part of your comment: "And who said that he doesn't love her."
"Marriage is a commitment; it isn't about "feelings" which can change with the wind."
From personal experience, I can totally agree with Joyfulcrown. If it were simply about ones own self-centered feelings I would have moved on years ago.
billys1, It's odd no one condones (getting married to someone you don't love) and yet they say you should stay married to someone you don't love! It's as though being "in love" doesn't matter. It's unfair to stay and use up their mate's time!
LOL 1. No one said that life would be or is a fair thing, and 2. I am sorry but to me at least you make people sound like a thing, a commodity. We make promises (vows) to people in our lives and our words should be our honor, even if tired.
Actually I'm just the opposite. I put myself in (his wife's shoes) and ask myself: Would I want to be married to someone who did not love me? The answer for me is "no"! If someone is "tired" of being with me I'd want them to go! I can do better!
They have 2 daughters, ages 10 and 12. Obviously, he's not thinking of the trauma he's inflicting on them, growing up in a broken home. Once you marry, and especially after you become a parent, it's not all about you anymore. So many Americans are egocentric - and then they wonder why society is going down the tubes!
My parents got divorced when I was 7. Unlike the "After School Specials" it isn't as traumatic as most people believe. If the parents love and support the children apart it's better than them living under a toxic cloud. Children are very resilient
It is far better for parents to live apart than to be constantly bickering Now THAT is a TOXIC environment.Children know that such parents HATE each other they also lose respect for such parents,deeming them to be pathetic hypocrites in the least!
Assuming that Chris Rock vowed to be with his wife " 'til death do us part," being tired of being married is not a sufficient reason. Notwithstanding the fact that he made a lifelong commitment to his spouse, 19 years of marriage and having children with his wife should be of some importance. Tired of being married sounds more like tired of the responsibility of his wife and children and/or a mid-life crisis. I highly doubt Mr. Rock will seek joint custody where his children will have access more akin to what they would have if their parents did not divorce. On the upside, his wife will get half of everything, as well as spousal support and child support... My two cents.
If your husband told you he was "tired of being married to you" it's the same thing as saying; "I'm not in love with you!" Clearly Chris Rock is happy to give her half of everything after all he is the one filing for divorce. Most men would cheat!
I didn't about this until I read this question. Although Chris is being honest I think what he is doing is awful. Marriage is a commitment; it isn't about "feelings" which can change with the wind.
Love is a feeling! Would you marry someone you didn't love? Would you to stay with someone you didn't love? Would you want someone to stay with you who didn't love you? Take away (the feelings of love) out of marriage then cheating & abuse begins
Love starts with chemistry and feelings. Marriage is a love long vow to commitment. In marriage there will be times when things are tough that is when you have to cultivate the feelings of love again.
After being together for (19 years) it's probably a safe bet there have been ups and downs! It's not as if he ran as soon as the first storm arrived. Anyone who ends a marriage after 19 years doesn't do so on a whim. This is going to cost million$
I'm sure by now, we're all painfully aware of the HIGH divorce rate. It continually gets worse. However, this bad news aside, I have a question of my own dashing, if you'll allow....
Is there a a single person alive, who is married or ever was married, who did not at some point for one reason or another, to one degree or another ......feel as though they were "unhappy and plain tired of being married?"
In all honesty. This is so harmlessly typical. It happens. Each person handles it differently. We either use it as a warning to wake up and shake up.....get deeper into the possible reasons......seek counseling.....confide in our spouse or call an Attorney.
Just amongst us adults folks.....if anyone stood before me and swore on their very life that NEVER FOR ONE MOMENT DID THEY REGRET MARRIAGE OR FEEL AS THOUGH THEY MIGHT BE HAPPIER SINGLE.....OR THINK THE SPARK WAS DEAD......ETC ETC...I would simply know they were trying to lie to themselves....afraid to be honest.
The issue becomes something altogether different depending on what one does next!!..........Great topic for discussion, Dashing!
Paula you made an excellent point. It could be said is there anyone who has ever been single that wished they were in a serious relationship or marriage? I think in this situation of almost 20 years a person (knows) if this is just a "phase".
Yes..20 years is certainly enough time to come to a firm decision. No one outside the relationship truly has a clue what goes on behind closed doors. In HOLLYWOOD especially! We can't even begin to relate! Several million makes it less painful?
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