What do you think of an older person dating a much younger person?

1. 44

   DDEposted 7 years ago

   What do you think of an older person dating a much younger person?
   
   The age differences don't come to mind at first but after years together the younger partner realizes so much is different. How does one cope with that?

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2. 71

   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   Truthfully over time all couples realize they have differences.
   Being incompatible with someone usually has little to do with age. All couples are capable of "growing apart" regardless of their age. It's likely when the older person was younger they had the same views. People of the same age have differences too!
   There are three basic reasons why couples split up.
   1. They chose the wrong mate (They're too incompatible)
   2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.
   3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things
   
   However one of the biggest challenges with age differences usually comes down to how healthy and active the older person remains as the relationship continues.
   Another factor which also can't be denied is how much (in love) is the younger person. When someone is not "in love" they're prone to cheating or open to the idea of finding someone new. {Truthfully that's true of anyone who is "unhappy".}
   If the couple are "in love" and the older person is relatively healthy they'll probably be fine. It's not as if most conversations begin with "Remember when...etc"
   The vast majority of couples talk about current events, weekend plans, family/friends, work, upcoming holiday activities, bills/finances, movies, dinner, and going to various places.

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      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Age is not important it depends on how couples work together and commitment is crucial. Being happy and in love and able to work through a marriage is important. I appreciate your answer.

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3. 85

   annartposted 7 years ago

   Whatever the ages, if a couple isn't truly in love then it won't work.  I know a lot of couples with considerable age gaps and all are very happy getting older together.  Health could be an issue but then if you love someone you want to look after them don't you?
   I guess it's a test of commitment, kindness and, above all, love.
   Good question!
   Ann

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   1. 44

      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Ann Carr thank you. I asked as we have an age gap and still in love. Interesting to read the opinions of others.

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4. 47

   Ericdierkerposted 7 years ago

   This is a very good question Devika. Thank you for bringing it to mind to ponder.
   How is 17 years of difference? Last I checked we are doing fine. My wife is not an effusive spouse. We get by mostly on her not complaining means things are fine.
   We really do not like all the same things. I am an outdoorsy person. She is a clean freak. I love to read. She seems to only read the Bible and books based thereon and work related stuff. I write. She has no interest in such things. I love to play sports. She does not even watch them or care. I spend a good portion of time with my head in the clouds. She thinks I am goofy. And on and on.
   We have about three things in very common.
   God and Jesus. That is a huge focus in our lives. Like we love to pray. Fun thing about that is that we do not attend the same church. She is more comfortable in her church family in Vietnamese. It is fun to share our different experiences.
   Loving each other. Perhaps we just assume that is a factor but do not list it. Loving is wonderful but sharing that is out of this world. We just kind of love our love. We never ever stop thinking of each other for any significant period of time.
   Our son. We are totally different parents. I have already raised three. And partly 2 before that. Absolutely nothing is new to me. Except maybe technology. She was a primagravida. And she seems to like drama about issues. It really works out quite well.
   
   So it seems to me that our age difference only really matters on the issue of respect. If she thinks I do not know what I am talking about it is hard. If I look at her as someone who has not experienced things as much as me and therefor discount her feelings and opinions It is hard. But it seems to me that our respect increases as time passes. 16 years together and we both refuse to stop growing together.What crazy thing will we be up to tomorrow? We can hardly wait to find out.

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      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Erickdierker thank you for sharing your experience. I asked the question because we have an age gap too. Still in love and 26 years together and married for 24.

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5. 86

   Jodahposted 7 years ago

   This is a great question, Devika, and you have received wonderful answers from everyone. I totally agree with everything said. Continued love and respect and trying to always find a common ground on issues is important. And when you stop trying is when a marriage starts to deteriorate. Age doesn't matter, just try to embrace each other's interests as much as you can.

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      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      John Hansen that is true!  Age gaps are not always the problem for couples it depends on how they understand each other's needs.Respect and love holds couples together. Thank you.

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6. 61

   fpherj48posted 7 years ago

   Devika....This is a great question and actually applies to more people than one might imagine.  In my own world, I have known numerous couples with a fairly vast age difference.  Something I learned from knowing and observing these couples through the years is quite clear & noteworthy.  With each of these couples what was far more defining than their age difference was how their personalities, likes & dislikes blended.  The more they enjoyed the same things/activities and interacted in social/entertainment situations, there was no visible gap between the 2. 
   With couples who had opposite personalities and contrary lifestyles, then the age difference seemed to be a bit like a Neon light!  However, this had little to do with the ultimate success of their relationship. This has been the picture I've gotten.  Happy Days to you!  Paula

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      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Paula, thank you. Your observations are are so true. I appreciate your answer here.

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7. 71

   JynBrantonposted 7 years ago

   It sounds cliche to say what's the maturity of the people involved? I dated a few people older and a man six years younger and it never bothered me. My husband is a year younger.

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   1. 44

      DDEposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Older can be at any age gap in most cases the age doesn't matter and for some couples things do go astray after many years together. Thank you for sharing your opinion. A few years older may not make a difference than the twenty year age gap.

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8. 74

   shanmarieposted 7 years ago

   I don't think it is the age difference that is always the problem,  though it can be.  It think the problems usually have more to do with the way people treat one another and if they had enough in common to begin with.

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