26 yr old hopeless romantic Q..why cant relationships ever be easy?

1. 0

   pippilottamugsposted 6 years ago

   All I do is try to fix things and understand but nothing seems to work. I feel like I'm always the one who ends up hurt.. I just want to know from another persons perspective how a healthy, happy relationship is like and how I can attract that in my own life?

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   1. 70

      dashingscorpioposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      All relationships will have (some) challenges.
      
      When it comes to love and relationships most of us (fail our way) to success. Very rarely does anyone hit a homerun their first, second, third, or fourth time up at bat. If this were not the case we would all be married to our high school sweethearts!
      
      During our youth many of us pursued relationships without taking the time to figure out who (we) were let enough know what we wanted or needed in a mate for life. We allowed "impulsive connections" and "happenstance" to dictate our relationship choices.
      
      It's the equivalent of going shopping without a list!
      
      Hopefully with each failed relationship we learn to "date smarter".
      
      "Knowledge is being aware that fire can burn. Wisdom is remembering the blister."  -Leo Tolstoy.
      
      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
      Each of us has our mate selection process/must haves list.
      Each of us has our boundaries and "deal breakers".
      
      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.
      If something doesn't feel right to you it's probably not right for you.
      If you have to "figure out" how someone feels they're not into you.
      If someone believes you are worth the effort they will make the effort.
      
      The top three reasons why couples split up
      
      1. They chose the (wrong) mate. (They're too incompatible.)
      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.
      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things over time.
      
      Ideally you want to choose someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship that you do, naturally agrees with you on how to obtain those things, and last but not least have a mutual depth of love and desire for one another.
      Compatibility trumps compromise.
      Like attracts like and opposites attract divorce attorneys!
      
      There is no amount of "work" or "communication" which can overcome being with someone who simply does not want what you want.
      
      If you or your mate has to change your core being in order to make a relationship work you're probably with the (wrong) person.
      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
      
      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on. The choice is ours.
      Suffering is optional. Choose wisely!
      
      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
      - Oscar Wilde
      
      

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   2. 79

      Cristaleposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      One thing I have learned is that the more you try to fix things, or everything, it only makes it worse. When you relax and just live life, then things will start to fall into place and work themselves out. Most of the time when we try to work things out on our own time and in our own way, it's not what is meant to be and it is not allowing your life's fate, destiny, or purpose to be fulfilled. So basically you are working against yourself.
      A meaningful relationship will always be hard because they are worth it in one way or another, even if we don't understand it right away. Nothing in life is easy and if it is then it's probably not worth it.

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2. 67

   Lynn Kellyposted 6 years ago

   Work on you. Get better each day.. wake up early. Make goals, weekly, monthly, yearly... sometimes the hurt stays, you just learn how to cope with the pain better with time. Learn from it and don’t make the same mistake twice.

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   1. 0

      pippilottamugsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks

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3. 48

   Paul Rileyposted 6 years ago

   can u be my girl friend

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4. 81

   Mark O Richardsonposted 5 years ago

   It takes work because we are all different. Just work on yourself. Then it will happen.

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   1. 76

      Castlepalomaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Good idea, learn to love yourself first. Increased your luck with others.

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