Do you ever...

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   Jane@CMposted 14 years ago

   feel completely and totally foolish for believing someone, letting them into your life only to find they are fake, fraud...?

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      Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes marriage should be outlawed in my opinion too.
      
      
      

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         Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Pessimist!
         (I agree...)

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      Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yup. I did that twice. I guess I couldn't learn the lesson the first time. The problem for me was that they were so completely convincing with sincerety and so much other convincing evidence. In the end, it was complete deception and fraud in one case, and complete lies, cowardice and deceit in the other.
      
      I could be so jaded and disallusioned, and still sometimes feel residual anger, but I believe there are lots of genuine people in the world, so I try to let the past not haunt me.

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         Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I thought I'd learned my lessons a long time ago.  Never to trust, it always backfires.  I do trust my husband - so marriage is a good thing for me

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            TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I'm so sorry for what you've been through, Jane...
            
            I feel so much the same way you do--I have one "real" friend who lives across the country from me, and has for more than 20 years now.  We email back and forth, but very rarely see each other...somehow, that works best for me.
            
            My best friend is my husband--like you, I trust him completely.  Mine helped me get through the same sort of problems you're having now with panic attacks, and not wanting to leave our home...
            
            I'm pulling for you!!!
            
            
            Tammy

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               Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Thanks Tammy and everyone else.  I feel better after journaling and reading your thoughtful posts

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      curlytree2009posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Not yet. It can only happen if you let yourself being fooled by that someone. You should know your limitations, be smart enough and respect yourself as the way you want to be respected.

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   Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

   Yep.
   Been there; done that; took a while to get over it; friends I thought were friends....really were not...
   Are you alright, Jane?

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   KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

   Liars suck big time.

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   tantrumposted 14 years ago

   Only happened to me once with a 'best' friend.He was like a brother to me for a year or so, and then I began to noticed he lied a lot about stupid things. Then he began with some mind games. He was playing with me and with his other friends as well.I  was lucky to spot that  something was wrong with him. I discovered all his little and dark secrets and told him off. It happened he had some mental issues. He even was medicated.
   He stills calls me once in a while, but I never answer back.

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      Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Mind games and liars - I thought I'd grown up enough to spot them.

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   Jane@CMposted 14 years ago

   I'm good. Thanks for asking Brenda.  I'm mostly confused & a bit angry.  Guess its a good time to pull out my journal and hand write for a bit.

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      tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      So tell us what is bothering you.

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         Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Well I could write a book.  Same old story.  Thought I'd finally found a real friend, someone I could talk to and share myself with.  Someone I thought I could trust.  I thought this person would understand my panic disorder and agoraphobia - in good ole Jane fashion, I just made them run the other way.  Who wants to deal with a person who can't go farther than a mile from her house alone?

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            tantrumposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I would deal with my friends if this happen to them !
            did they just leave you alone, or harm you in any way ?

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               Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Oh no, no harm. Just one less person I can trust

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            blatvaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I want to   I think Jane is awesome.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      sorry to hear that Jane, sometimes people just aren't ready or willing to get involved. pulling out the journal sounds good, it helps me to write things out and then later I'll read it and find a treasure, something I was supposed to learn.
      
      have you ever heard of the book by Don Miguel Ruiz about The Four Agreements?  it's really a wonderful little book, one of the agreements is: (copied if for you)
      
      2. Don't Take Anything Personally
      Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering
      
      It wasn't because of you. people respond from something within.
      I think we've all probably done that though, I know I have.
      hugs.

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         Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I have that book, and you are so right!

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   Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

   Whether it's platonic friends or more personal,  yeah it stinks when they use or abuse you.
   You'll come through it stronger though, I believe.
   Always helps to express it verbally or in writing;  that journal will be interesting; wish you the best!

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   tantrumposted 14 years ago

   But I don't understand !
   In your OP you say :
   
   'feel completely and totally foolish for believing someone, letting them into your life only to find they are fake, fraud...?'
   
   What did this person do  ,for you to think it's fake ?
   
   Leaving you ?
   Maybe she/he wasn't prepared to cope with your problem ?

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      Jane@CMposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thats it Tantrum, she was not able to cope with my problem.  I should have been clearer...she led me to believe she understood my problem, could help me out, would listen confidentially.  I listened to her, I trusted.

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   sneakorocksolidposted 14 years ago

   I'm sorry to hear that. You deserve better.

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   Flightkeeperposted 14 years ago

   I think you should write a hub.  Make it funny.  Imagine what you'd do to her in a fantasy way.  Something like Hanging and Other Ways to Torture a Friend Who Betrays You.  There's no reason not to earn money on that experience.

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    AnythingArtzyposted 14 years ago

    I'm really sorry for what happened. I tend to be too trusting and get hurt alot and at present was betrayed by my only friend. i let her get through my wall and then wham she hit me with the bricks.
    
    All I can say is don't give up. not everybody will treat you bad. that's what keeps me goin.

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    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    Too Often, way too often.  I continue to trust to easily and it makes me gullible then I get hurt.  Never seem to learn from it though.

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