How do women get away with it?

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  1. megs78 profile image61
    megs78posted 8 years ago

    I was visiting with a girlfriend the other day and the conversation had turned to husbands, sex, etc.  I was complaining a little that my husband tended to sulk if I was isn't in the mood when he was and that I was getting tired of it.

    My friend, trying to patch things up, asked if maybe I wasn't having sex often enough with him.  So I asked her, 'is 3 times a week (at the very least) not enough?'

    Her jaw dropped and she couldn't believe that we had sex that often.  She told me that it had been a month since her and her husband had been intimate and sometimes even longer.

    That made my jaw drop. But then I started getting curious and polled some girlfriends.  and you know what?  its not that uncommon.

    But here's the question; how are women getting away with that?  and number two, why, besides the most obvious reasons (violence, disrespect, mean, uncaring, etc) do women even want to refuse for such long times?

    I just think that its a really important facet of a relationship and I think that the relationship I have with my husband would be very strained if I was refusing him for months at a time.

    Any thoughts?

  2. Misha profile image71
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    You mean you do sex only for him?

    1. megs78 profile image61
      megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Misha, what are you asking me?

      1. Misha profile image71
        Mishaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        The way you constructed your post made me thinking you do not enjoy sex yourself and do it only to please your hubby. Just wanted to clarify if this understanding is correct or not smile

        1. megs78 profile image61
          megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

          I'm not exactly sure where you see that I would not enjoy sex.  I love it.

          1. Misha profile image71
            Mishaposted 8 years agoin reply to this

            I'm glad I was wrong smile

            1. megs78 profile image61
              megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

              my husband is happy too wink

  3. profile image0
    Crazdwriterposted 8 years ago

    no idea but there is a month when we have sex almost every day of the week until I start and then months when we do it maybe once or twice...just not in the mood at times...

    1. megs78 profile image61
      megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I get the 'not in the mood' thing. Of course I have it too.  but for months?  I remember my husband refused me once because he was too wasted, not because he wasn't in the mood, and it really hurt me.  I couldn't imagine being refused for a month.  Am I seeing this the wrong way?

      1. profile image0
        Crazdwriterposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        No but thankfully my husband isn't one who does get upset or hurt when I refuse him...he understands me

  4. profile image0
    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 8 years ago

    you have to factor in many things, does one partner work horrible hours and there is not much time between work and sleep, is one been sick, are there any performance issues that have not been discussed, is one holding a grudge against the other partner that has been going on for some time...


    Its kind of hard to say, some have legitimate reasons, others do not..

    1. megs78 profile image61
      megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I get what you mean too BC, I have 3 children, I work two jobs and run my ass off.  We are tired and there are days when its hard to find the strength to even kiss goodnight.  I know.

  5. donotfear profile image87
    donotfearposted 8 years ago

    Heck, I think 3 times a week sounds like a healthy average. What does it matter how many times? It's the sharing and intimacy that really count. If you're unhappy, it could be more like 1 time per month or less. Heck I remember in my 2nd marriage I was a miserable soul...I mean miserable and in my early thirties supposed to be the prime time. Only had sex about 1 time per 3 months or more the last 5 yrs. Yep, I didn't care either. I bailed out of that one.

    I told current spousey we need to keep up with the national average. Heheheh.

    1. megs78 profile image61
      megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, I think its a healthy average too, and thats why I was complaining to my girlfriend about my spouse's sulking when he doesn't get it.

  6. wychic profile image86
    wychicposted 8 years ago

    Who says that women are doing it? The only time I ever went that long since I started having sex was because he refused...

    1. megs78 profile image61
      megs78posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Well, like I said in my opening paragraph, I polled my girlfriends, and I know its not scientific or anything, but out of 7 of my friends, only 2 of us were having regular sex.

      1. wychic profile image86
        wychicposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        True true...I know for me it's a matter of catching him in the right mood, but he does work in a stressful job and is significantly older than I am so I s'pose I can't complain too loudly when he's not in the mood. Through two marriages, I've always been the one to be refused...what's wrong with this picture? tongue

 
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