Why do I have to be positive?

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   rhartlandsbergposted 14 years ago

   Why is it deemed unhealthy to feel or act negatively? If I don't feel positive about a situation I feel like it's more satisfying and true to myself to let my negative thoughts and emotions out rather than force a positive disposition.
   
   It seems shallow to me to only want to be around someone when they are happy. It seems arrogant to try to force someone to do the things that YOU think will make them happy.
   
   Any thoughts on this?

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      calpol25posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Positivity and Negativity go hand in hand, but when it comes this you should always be yourself and not what other people want you to be stay true to your own self and dont change by what other people say.
      Thats what makes us individuals and human.

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      Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hiiiiiiiiiiii............... Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
      
      I think this just about sums up how a positive thinking person feels about meeting someone who embraces a negative outlook.
      
      Personally, I'm allergic to negative people... I find them deeply in need of an improved self esteem and sense of self worth.

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hey Pearldiver, wouldn't be nice for them to know the "how to" about going and doing it? If they don't know, then it can apparently hurt them.
         
         On another note, as to the thread. It's not so much about having the right "outlook" or even remaining positive. It's the view of optimism. Sure, you can have a negative outlook on specific things that happen in life, but you cannot have a negative outlook on life in general.

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            samboiamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Cagsil, very well said.

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               Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Interesting comments Cagsil..... What exactly did you say?

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                  Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  I said, wouldn't it be nice, if those who lacked "self-esteem" and "self-worth" knew "how to" going about getting it in the first place.
                  
                  Which lead me to say, If they don't know "how to", then obvious it is apparently going to hurt them.
                  
                  Is that better?

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                     Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Thanks for clarifying your post! Your accent was not doing justice to your words
                     
                     Yes, I guess it would be a perfect world if we all took responsibility for our outlooks and attitudes and of course the related actions of which negatively influence others
                     
                     Clearly you see the 'how to' as being an educational issue?
                     Perhaps the most relevant first lesson to learn on that issue is: "Never listen to anyone more negative than yourself!"

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                        Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                        
                        
                        Not what I was thinking, but okay.
                        
                        
                        Edit: Educational issue? Yes, passed down by generation after generation, simply because it was never known. How sad?

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               Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Thank you.

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         PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm with you.  I no longer  will voluntarily spend time with a negative person.  Life is too short and my time is too valuable.

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            rhartlandsbergposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Is there no value in using your own positivity to learn to embrace someone with a different outlook than yourself?
            
            Is there no value in acknowledging negative aspects of all of our lives so that we might change them for the better?

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               PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Sure, there is value in both of those things.  However, it is possible to acknowledge negative aspects of our lives without "being" negative.

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                  Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                    en guarde.............

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               rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I think there's a difference with being yourself and knowing yourself. we've all seen people who seem to enjoy being 'negative' and the only people who want to be around them are the same. I think like attracts like. personally, I prefer being around positive, real life people. everything is not always 'rosy', but an upbeat attitude towards life is certainly a healthier way to live.
               
               as another poster said here, life is too short to spend time embracing negativity. we can recognize it and learn from it, but I'm not going to stay in it.

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      Pani Midnyte Odinposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Staying true to yourself is always the most positive path to take. Pretending to be positive in a situation that gives you a negative vibe or makes you feel uncomfortable will just make you miserable. When you're miserable, it rubs off on the people around you. If expressing yourself, even when you feel negatively about something, helps you feel LESS miserable, then by all means, EXPRESS YOURSELF! Your attitude rubs off on everyone around you so the less miserable YOU are, the less miserable everyone else will be too.

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      Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I agree
      
      I think its unhealthy to dwell on negativity, but  its also unhealthy to deny its existence.

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      speaseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      One of the best reasons comes from a quote by Winston Churchill.
      Someone asked him if he was optimistic, he said " I am always an optimist, it just doesn't make any sense to be anything else".  I agree.

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      Rafiniposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think it is considered unhealthy to be negative on a regular basis because it isn't good for your mental health which in turn can affect your overall health.
      I also think it is important to release negative energy when it occurs otherwise it would be like shaking a bottle of soda and twisting off the cap -you never know where the fallout will hit the hardest.
      As for someone telling you to "Stay Positive" - I take it to mean, keep your hopes up but release any negativity as it comes along.

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      Madame Xposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You've got a 50-50 choice - feel good or feel like crap.
      
      There's always something good about every situation

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   mtsi1098posted 14 years ago

   You should just be yourself...negative or positive...

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      skyfireposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well said.
      
      By the way, Confucius said that.......  ah never mind.

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   myownworldposted 14 years ago

   I believe everyone has moments of negative and positive feelings. At least, all sensitive people do. Others can say or perceive you anyhow, all that really matters is how you yourself want to live your life:  feeling negative about things (not to be confused with serious reflective moments) or just being optimistic...and smiling from within. Whatever works for you...

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      Paradise7posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, that's very well said, myownworld.  We have both positive and negative EXPERIENCES, so it only makes sense we have both positive and negative feelings.  Me, personally, I don't like to impose my negative feelings on other people.  Usually time passes, the negative situation passes, everything gets better...  The best thing to do is to try and make things better.

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   rhartlandsbergposted 14 years ago

   Thanks for the feedback all!
   
   I feel like it's a common notion to not want to be around negativity or let someones negativity bring you down but I feel like that practice leads to fair-weather friendships or problems being ignored rather than addressed.

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Hello Everyone
   
   How is everybody doing today? Or Tomorrow?

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   Hey PrettyPanther, what's up?

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      PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Cagsil.  Just hangin' out on the forums and watching Idol at the same time.  How are you? 

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Doing well. Thank you for asking. Nice to see you roaming around.

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            PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Don't you mean "prowling" around? 

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               Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Well, I've been told I lurk...
               
               So, I don't want to say "prowling", even though you are a panther.   I wouldn't want someone to get the wrong impression that you were on the "hunt" for food or anything.

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                  Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Sheesh Cagsil.... You Lurk???
                  
                  Wasn't George Michaels arrested for that a few years ago??

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                     Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     

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                  PrettyPantherposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Well, right now I'm going to slink off the bed.  Gotta work tomorrow.
                  
                  You have a good night and enjoy your lurking! 

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                     Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Good night. You sleep well and be safe.

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   Phil_Raphieposted 14 years ago

   Positivity attracts positive energy and would equal to positive disposition in Life.  Yes we always have choices but then what will matter at the end of the day would be the results or outcome of those choices. The effect of those choices. It is always best and advisable to stay positive within a normal level for there are things that are meant to happen and so we should make sure that we are also wiling to accept the outcome of such. In every positive mind comes with a negative feeling but then you should not be persuaded by anything or anyone so learn how to weigh things.
   Example: A negative spiel or thoughts can be transformed into somewhat like positive thoughts just by using approriate words and language. So the impact of positive scripting will lighten up customers and people around you, around us :-)

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   Brenda Durhamposted 14 years ago

   Seriousness is often mis-labeled as negativity.
   Life is serious.
   Sometimes fun and non-serious, but often serious.
   I prefer a serious mindset to naivete.

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      rhartlandsbergposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      ...Yes naivete or flippant disregard for real real issues.

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         There are differences between being naive and choice ignorance.
         
         Some people are naive, only because they lack knowledge and understanding. Then, there are some that choose to be ignorant, even if they don't see it themselves.
         
         Ignorance: The Overwhelming Destructive Trait, a hub I wrote about it.
         
         Integrity: The Lost Character Trait, is another hub I wrote.
         
         It has a lot to do with those who choose to be ignorant, so as to stop themselves from learning more about life, because they already think that they know everything there is to know about it.
         
         There are even some arrogant enough to think that there are certain areas of life, that they are not ignorant or naive, about...yet when you talk to them, you quickly learn how untrue that is really.
         
         
         Edit: corrected a title of hub.

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   Jared in Vegasposted 14 years ago

   You don't have to be positive, not about everything. Sometimes its best to say "this isn't going to work," and cut your losses.  Did Charlie Brown ever kick the football? No, he didn't. Someone should have told him that it wasn't going to happen.

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe the cartoonist, shouldn't have let Lucy be so selfish?

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      Fluffymetalposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      you guys are funny

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    Phil_Raphieposted 14 years ago

    I have some factors of Positive mind that might impact us. These values applies to me... and so I want to share with you guys :-)
    
    P - People: means if you are with positive people you will likely have a positive thoughts in Life.
    
    O - Outcome: what kind of outcome would you like to see?
    
    S - Sex: At times there are more Women who thinks positive than Men in some ways.
    
    I - Intelligence: Level of intelligence affects the way we think and so affects how we react unto things: positively or negatively.
    
    T - Time: It is one of the element that we should also consider. Others believe that most people are positive on the early part of their day than on the latter part of it.
    
    I - Intuition: Level of intuition will also impact us on being positive.
    
    V - Value: How we value or the value things or issue will impact the level of positiveness within us.
    
    E - Environment: Were you raised in a positive environment and with positive culture?

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    Pearldiverposted 14 years ago

    Well done mate....... And no mention of the "L" word.

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       Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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       lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Hey you, too long mate, hope you are well and still living in Paradise. (jealous)
       SYT left a few messages for you
       i'll email you, gotta question
       all positive
       
       Be well

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       Phil_Raphieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       What's the "L"? hehehe

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          Pearldiverposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Why did I know that you were going to ask me that question?
          
          The "L" stands for Lurking (as referred to earlier in the thread).

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    Ghost32posted 14 years ago

    If I care about someone a lot, such as my wife, I'll hang around when the conversation "goes negative".  With a spouse who has been clinically diagnosed as being severely mentally ill and tends toward homicidal thoughts when she feels betrayed (which is all too often), that's not nearly an uncommon enough occurrence to suit me.
    
    However, lacking that powerful motivation (lifetime commitment) to stick around, I subscribe to the philosophy of Edwin Land (creator of the Polaroid camera) who stated,
    
    "I insulate myself from negative thinking people since it only takes one negative comment to kill a good idea."

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       A Texanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Sound advice.

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    Rod Marsdenposted 14 years ago

    If you are falsely positive then you may not be owning a problem that has a solution and if you don't own it then the problem can only get bigger and bigger until it overwhelms you. Being negative sometimes can be as healthy as being positive just so long as things don't stagnate.

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