True Story

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  1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
    Stevennix2001posted 13 years ago

    When I used to work as an overnight cashier, I'd often have a security guard who worked with me, Vincent (Fake name to protect his identity here).  Anyway, whenever i was off, there was this other guy named Ottis (fake name again for same reasons), who was openly gay. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with people that are gay, as I have had many gay friends in my life. The only rules i have for them is 1)they respect and acknowledge that i'm a heterosexual.  2)they never try to convert me at all.  And in return, I'll do the same for them.  Respect that they're gay and never try to convert them to be straight. I don't think that's asking too much. 

    Anyway, to get back at the topic at hand, one night when I was off, i decided to visit the store to pick up some things late at night. During which I saw one of Ottis' girl friends flirting with Vincent.  In fact, she even gave him her phone number.  After she had left, I went up to vincent to congratulate him, as we both joked around for a bit.  That's when Ottis told us that the girl, vincent was flirting with, used to be a guy. Needless to say, Vincent threw away that number, and we both agreed she should have said she used to be a dude.  lol.  it's a funny story, but true one at that. 

    Anyway, the thing I want to know here is this. Do you think a woman that used to be a man, HAS TO TELL the guy she's flirting with she was a guy before.  Or do you think she has NO obligation to tell anyone.  Please discuss. big_smile

    1. IzzyM profile image87
      IzzyMposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Of course, he could have been lying...maybe she is all-woman and he is jealous or someting.

    2. profile image0
      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      if she flirted with him a little, no harm done and everyone is entitled to their privacy. but if she wants to start something with him then she absolutely must tell. i wouldn't want to like some really cool guy and get emotionally involved only to find out he used to be a woman.

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
        Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

        yeah, i'd agree with you there.  i'd  be pissed if some girl i was seeing for a while, told me that she used to be a guy after we've been together.  personally, if its just flirting, then they have no obligation to tell anyone.  however, if they wish to have a relationship with anyone especially before things get intimate, then they need to say something.  otherwise, it's wrong on their part.

  2. Rochelle Frank profile image92
    Rochelle Frankposted 13 years ago

    What if the girl that used to be a guy marries a guy who used to be a girl and neither of them know about each other's past? Does that make them both lesbians? Will their children be gay? Life is getting more confusing by the minute.

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      that and who would get pregnant if they did procreate?  the man that used to be a woman, or the woman that used to be a man?  hmm

      1. Rochelle Frank profile image92
        Rochelle Frankposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        I think they would have to have a pre-nup agreement on that.

    2. mega1 profile image69
      mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      gee - I don't think two transsexuals would be able to procreate! it just doesn't seem possible at all.

      however, that decision about when to tell - in any number of scenarios there is that problem and it is a very personal kind of thing for people.  Similar to when gays tell us about being gay - each relationship is different, so therefore would each disclosure be different.  Sometimes you want to know right away, other times, you might never need to know!  Basically, probably best to tell before there is any sexual activity!  But since I won't never have that particklar problem, I am just thankful as all heck! 

      We do have some thorny problems to figure out here in the forums.  and its very entertaining!

  3. TrixieGator profile image62
    TrixieGatorposted 13 years ago

    i think that of she was to continue to date him that she would be under obligation to tell him..if she is just flirting then no

    1. Isabelle22 profile image59
      Isabelle22posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Agreed smile

  4. Rafini profile image71
    Rafiniposted 13 years ago

    funny - a female who used to be a male flirting with a gay man.  Is she sure she should have switched?  lol   sorry, but I find it funny.

    No, I don't think she was under any obligation to tell since it was just flirting.  Within a relationship, though, that's tough.  When should they tell?  Should they tell at all?  I think yes, they should...but, Wow, awkward. 

    I think they should tell before the first kiss, actually, now that I think about it.

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      well actually vincent was straight. he just thought that girl was a girl, but it turned out to be a tranny. lol. however, you do make a good point

      1. Rafini profile image71
        Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

        oohhh, oooppps!   lol

        i got otis & vincent mixed up.   lol 

        Hey wait a minute!  gay men dont have girlfriends!  they have friends who are girls!   smile  (sorry, had to say something!)  seriously, though.  i missed that. smile

        1. mega1 profile image69
          mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          oh, and there are some gay men (have known two) who are really, really gay, but occasionally in their lives for various reason actually took up with women.  I know one guy who is openly and really very gay, but married a woman, has children and lives sort of both sides of the track, and I still would not consider him bisexual because that is not the way he sees it, according to him.  This world holds many wonders, doesn't it?

          1. Rafini profile image71
            Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            yeah.  but I think I understand.  he wanted to have children through marriage, but his heart wasn't in it & thats why he doesn't consider himself bi.  just a thought.  smile

  5. IzzyM profile image87
    IzzyMposted 13 years ago

    When I was a taxi driver, I heard many tales from my male co-workers how they'd been caught out with a sexy female offering them payment in kind, only to find out he was a she!
    Well, in truth, I only got these stories second-hand, because the guilty parties ony ever told one friend (in confidence) but of course it's too good a secret to not share wink

  6. IzzyM profile image87
    IzzyMposted 13 years ago

    What about the guy in today's paper? He has won a court battle to be officially declared neither male or female! … -22112496/

  7. profile image0
    Lecieposted 13 years ago

    i agree with know he's not going to flirt if she tells him up front at least holding off for a while she and he both get a little fun. smile

  8. profile image57
    Mileeposted 13 years ago

    I think there is an obligation to to tell the truth should you ever start dating. It's not a matter of believing it's right or wrong in todays society but it could be a matter of someone's religous beliefs. So I say, tell it up front. It's the right thing to do. And could save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

  9. profile image0
    cosetteposted 13 years ago


    i think you could tell though. i see some girls on Jerry Springer who reveal to their dates (who they have already been sexually involved with) that they were born a man and have all their naughty bits and wonder how they could not know, i mean at first glance you can tell she is a man...although this really nice guy helped me one time in the paint section at Home Depot and he was really cute too and an employee came up and asked if i needed help and i said no this gentleman was very helpful and he goes 'um, i'm a she' and i felt horrible. i felt my face turn hot so i know it was as red as a tomato sad

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image83
      Stevennix2001posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      im sorry to hear that happened to you.  i hope she took it as a joke, and wasn't offended by it.  if she didn't, then i'm truly sorry to hear that happened to you.

      anyway, to answer your previous query about wouldn't a person know that the woman is really a guy when they get naked.  well you do know they have operations now right? in fact, ottis told me that some men will have plastic surgeons get rid of their umm....thing so it looks like they have a woman' know.... however, they can't get pregnant though.  it'll just look like a woman's private part thats all.  lol.  anyway, i hope that clears up that query.

  10. profile image52
    Teddy93420posted 12 years ago

    One of my most memorable occasions was when I met a lady in a restaurant and our glances met with friendly smiles.  In short I was going to spend the night on her sofa.  Things turned out nicely and as I removed her last piece of clothing,. it was obvious that she was a he.  In the heat of the moment that made no difference to me.  We shared many wonderful times together until I was transferred.  I would love to meet someone just like that, under the same conditions, and never have any regrets.  But for the safety of the girl I would be very careful NOT letting and admirer know the truth.


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