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Loving Someone On Lock

  1. RealTalkInTx profile image60
    RealTalkInTxposted 7 years ago

    Do you think you could fall in love with or have a relationship with someone in jail or prison.

    I guess my question is could you love someone on lock I meet this wonderful guy the only problem was he was in prison we meet through a mutual friend. I was in a bad relationship when we meet and he was welcomed refreshment to my life. We talk on the phone for hours about any and everything mostly about the things that we had been through in previous relationship and our quest to find love and our true soul mate. One thing that I noticed of top that I was falling for him he spoke volumes to my heart whether or not it was because I was in a hurtful and abusive relationship at the time I don’t know but we grew closer and closer each time we spoke. After about two weeks of us talking the guy that I was in a bad relationship with found one of the letters that he had written me and he abused me but during the time that I was involved with the young man from prison me and my boyfriend was still living together but not together. So needless to say I broke off all communication with the young man from prison but I have to admit I thought about him all the time. Mostly because a lot of my relationships I rushed into I never took the time to get to know the men ill I knew was I liked them we felt good together are the sex was great. And yet I felt I knew more about the young man in prison and had better communication with him then my boyfriend of4mths needless to say the young man in prison wrote he called and left message after message for me for about 2 or 3 weeks straight and I ignored them because I was trying to work things out with my boy friend but things only got worse come to later find out after 6mths of dating that the young women he had coming over to my house that he introduced to me and my kids as his cousin was an ex girlfriend and I felt so hurt but at the same time so happy. Because finally I could let go at first even after the hurt and the abusive I would forgive him and stayed with him because I felt I loved him so much and truth is I really just didn’t want to start over with someone knew I was tired of going from man to man trying to find the right man but yet all it seem I was doing was racking up different men. Many times I find as women we settle for men instead of waiting on a good man or we find ourselves in relationship were we deal with thing in order so we are not alone. And first let me say I never thought I would be in an abusive relationship let alone except it nah that I think about it I excepted and dealt with a lot of things that I normally wouldn’t have just because I wanted and felt I was in love. But back to my story me and my boy friend broke up and the first thing that I wanted was to get back in contact with the young man from prison and so I did and just let me say that after 2mth of no communication with him it was as if we had pick right back up as if we never stop talking in the first place and all the feeling and emotions came rushing back. I’ve often questioned myself wondering in its just rebound emotions and feeling or could he really be the one he doesn’t come home from prison until December but I feel for the first time I finally get to take my time and get to know him I am going to go visit him soon and my only fear is what if I don’t like his appearance what if am not attracted to him and honestly for the first time I can say I really doesn’t matter. Because truth is I’ve always went for the man that pleased my body and not my heart and truth is after so many relationship based on the wrong things it feels good to finally have one that’s based on friendship communication understanding and yes maybe even love. So back to my question could you love someone on lock cause truth is most men are on lock or have just been released from jail or prison most men have some type of felony back ground either on parole or probation and truth is most have a made up mind about what they want for their life and their future and honestly I can say most our better than some of this dogs or so called men that or free.

    1. bsscorpio8 profile image60
      bsscorpio8posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Most men where? How in hell could I love them when they are in jail? I may love the "idea" of them. What "normal" interaction would I have with someone in jail? You mean to tell me that you cannot find anyone compatible with you outside of the confines of lock down? Looks like you are about to go down a familiar road...again!!!

      Work on yourself!!! Find out what it is that leads you to these abusive relationships. Are men and relationships really so important to you that you accept abuse and instant gratification? On the bright side of things, at least you know he is not going anywhere being that he is on lock down.

      To answer your question, no.

    2. profile image46
      tracy acreeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      How can i find someone?

  2. RealTalkInTx profile image60
    RealTalkInTxposted 7 years ago

    Thanks for your respond we all have our thoughts. And to answer your question yes I can find a man outside of jail but I have found that they play too many damm games and all they want is sex and they will lie and tell you anything to get it and once they get what they want most are gone our brush you off or become to busy. I can't and dont get mad or blame them when there are so many women out there that dont mind casual sex and will give it up easy men feel that they dont have to waste time trying to be friends or get to know you. So yes I welcomed the chance to get to know this young man in jail and matter of fact I talk with him more then the men that are free and we are building a beautyful relationship thats not based on sex or what ever else he can try to gain from being with me.

    1. bsscorpio8 profile image60
      bsscorpio8posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      What do you think the man in prison is going to want when he gets out? Something that he is not getting from any women in there (maybe).How do you know he is not just stringing you along like,"all of the other men"? Women willingly give up sex, I tire of hearing about how men are in this regard. If you do not give it up, they cannot play games. Right?

      1. RealTalkInTx profile image60
        RealTalkInTxposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        That's my point I dont give it up which is whyIi have such a hard tme dating and meeting men. I'm not blaming all men but here in Houston were anm from what you see is what you get. And I'm sure thats what he's going to want when he gets out and trust I will be more than happy to give it to him because for one I would have had the chance to get to know him verses a man I dont really know or one who's growing impatient day by day with not being able to get in my panties. And yes i do agree some women do give it up right away which makes it hard for women like me who choose to wait. And to tell the truth I don't know if he's stringing me alone but I feel that he's given me more than any man I have ever dated or tried to date. And its just the same if a women is dating a man out in the world and he gets locked up does that mean she is sopose to leave him or turn her back on him so is there really a diffrence between loving one already there verses on that could possible end up there or has already been there.

        1. bsscorpio8 profile image60
          bsscorpio8posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          I don't know too many women that would wait for a man in jail; I don't know too many women who would even stay with a man if he lost his job!

  3. KCC Big Country profile image89
    KCC Big Countryposted 7 years ago

    First of all, I haven't read your hubs yet, but if they go on and on with no paragraphs like you forum post did, people are going to have a tough time reading them. 

    Now, for your question.  I understand what you find so attractive in talking to this guy.  You have his undivided attention when you're talking to him.  All the two of you CAN do right now is talk. 

    I also disagee with you about all men either being in jail or just out of jail.  You need to get out more.  You're obviously looking in the wrong places.   Take more pride in yourself.  You deserve a man that treats you like a queen.  Don't settle for less.  If you can't find it around your area, it's time to move.

  4. RealTalkInTx profile image60
    RealTalkInTxposted 7 years ago

    Once again thanks for your thoughts and I live In Texas and most men in Texas have been in or out of jail. And if you haven't been Thank God but to your reply.

    I dont have a promblem meeting men like i stated eailer they are full of B.S or only out for self or your panties so if a beautiful friendship is what I'm getting from the young man on lock so be it.

    If it developes into more I'm go go for it because he makes me happy to each It's on but thanks for your reply.

  5. KCC Big Country profile image89
    KCC Big Countryposted 7 years ago

    I've lived in Texas all my life and I still think you're selling yourself short. 

    I hope he makes you happy since you sure seem to have your heart set on him.  I truly wish you well.

  6. profile image45
    MizChildersposted 7 years ago

    Would you all just lay off of her.  Just because someone is in jail doesn't make them a bad person or a bad woman or man.  There are alot of people who made bad decisions that are there and throughout its walls of negativity creates a bad man or woman.  Men are full of crap in and out of jail.  But there are alot of men that are good men in and out of jail.  I think it is very small minded and naive to tell her she is being stupid for getting to know a man that is in jail.