The concept of "The One" (person to marry) - is it a myth?

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   Baileybearposted 14 years ago

   I have some old university friends that believe in "The One".  They both happen to have university degrees and are Christians (making me wonder if The One is promoted in Christian circles?)
   
   A female married her husband "the one" and is convinced God brought them together.  However, I've observed her engineering her relationships eg she wanted a particular guy, she got him.
   
   A male is a 40-year-old virgin.  He is still "keeping himself pure" waiting for God to provide a bride.  He turns down offers of dates from interested females because "his heart didn't jump out of his chest" as a sign - which sounds like infatuation.
   
   I've been married for several years; we've had our ups and downs, but I'm happy with my husband.  But logically, I think there could be several suitable people I could have married, or I might not have gotten married at all.
   
   The One - where does this notion come from and is it illogical?

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   Cagsilposted 14 years ago

   It comes from the same notion that "love at first sight" happens.
   
   The possibility is remote, but not impossible, especially when love is concerned.
   
   "The One" is all about having a "soulmate", some particular person who you ultimately cannot live without.

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   spookyfoxposted 14 years ago

   I think it's more an idea than a myth, that works as a symbol on a psychological level. Where it comes from is something I'd like to know too. It's an interesting question. I doubt it was much present in ancient Greece, you know, with their orgies and all, so it's after that, my guess would be Christianity. But I could be wrong, since I have no idea how far back that idea dates in other cultures.

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   KCC Big Countryposted 14 years ago

   There can be many called "the one" in one's lifetime.

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   cindyvineposted 14 years ago

   I reckon it's a myth because you can have so many 'The One's' in a lifetime.  I think, that at that moment in your life, a person could be 'The One' but a couple of days, weeks or years down the road, someone else can be 'the One.'

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      Baileybearposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Do you think people that are looking for the (perfect?) "One" miss a lot of opportunities by not settling for someone that ticks most of the boxes?  And when they find someone great, they are still looking?

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         TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         
         
         No, I don't think so.  Speaking from experience here(lol), when I met my husband, I knew it was not "settling". I knew he was the perfect person for me, and never, in 22 years, have I EVER looked around, wondering if I could do better. 
         
         We've been together a long time now, and I can honestly say that if something ever happened to him, there would NEVER be another "one" for me--no one could live up to his "perfectness" for me...

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            Tom Cornettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            That goes for me too. I can only add that love is truly a graceful bliss. 

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               SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               you 2 are so cute and obviously in love!...nice to see/read!

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                  Tom Cornettposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Thank you. 

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                  TamCorposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Thanks from me, too...

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   WryLiltposted 14 years ago

   I believe life gives us one person who is our perfect match. However that doesn't necessarily mean we will end up with that person.

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   Joe Badtoeposted 14 years ago

   I believe in Groucho Marx's thoery when he asked two women in his company to marry him and one woman said 'but that's bigamy' and Groucho says'it's a big o me too, that's a lot of commitment'

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   Bill Manningposted 14 years ago

   Funny how we seem to all find "the only one in the whole world" within 50 miles of where we live!
   
   Meaning it's bull. Here's my take: If everyone could stand on a sidewalk, ask out the next 20 single men/women who walked by, we would all find what we think is "the one" in that 20.

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      WryLiltposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It depends on how random we think the world is. If it's completely random then, if there is a 'one' they could be anywhere. If there is half a system or some type of 'world make sense' theory, likes attract and all that...
      
      And I always knew, even as a teenager when someone wasn't the one. In fact I chose someone to sleep with for the first time based on specific selection of someone who I knew was not 'the one' and I would never consider marrying but I liked and trusted.

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   The Darkened Oneposted 14 years ago

   I think its fantasy & far from reality. Although I believe there are couples who are perfect match for each other but of course there are substitutes too!

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      tpletchposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      II think the idea that God has 'the one'  just for you is misdirected thinking.   A single man came to church about 5 years ago.  He informed that he was meeting girls online.  He met one girl that he thought was "God's one for him".  At first he thoujght she was "his perfect princes".
      In about another two weeks the same woman was trying to get him to go to places should not go.
              He then broke up with her and then started correspoding with another woman he thought was "the one".  This woman was (he thought was a wonderful christian).   As it turned out, she was having several sleeping partners at once.
              I am sure it can be the other way around too. the woman can be the one seeking.   I think we have to gard against the thinking that God has a specific one for us.

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    saltposted 14 years ago

    Some say we have more than one soul mate or romantic soul mate. A lady called Jade Sky wrote a book about how some soul mates are not our romantic soul mates.
    
    Or could be twin flames etc that can make relationships that seem compelling difficult.
    
    On an old fashioned note, my grandfather built his house, my grandparents were married in the Church across the road and lived in the same house until my grandmother died and he came to live with us.

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