I'd say three to five years.... is average if it's a financial situation...or one of you has been married before and not ready after year one or two to commit. Longer than five years I'd say is too long. HOWEVER, I knew this woman who went with her man for TWENTY YEARS before they finally decided to get married. So too long is if YOU think it's TOO LONG...you'll know girlfriend.
I waited three years to marry Lover Man. We both had been married before....so I was a bit leery. But it turned out to be great!
i too have been married. im not leery . my mother waited 20. but both of them were alcoholics at the time so that got in the way. they were engaged for 8. it doesn't have to be right now cus theres a lot to it . but i have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that i am waisting my time. especially because it's been 8yrs.
Trust your gut. If you feel like you are wasting your time, you are. Make the move and suggest a break or seeing other people. Test and see how each of you is solo. If you get back together and want to make it permanent, it's all good. Whatever you do, do NOT issue an ultimatum. Bad, bad, bad idea. Always retain the upper hand (or the appearance of the upper hand).
Just waiting our "real" resident expert Dawn M to chime in here.She's a marriage counselor. I'm just a marriage 'expert'
the whole subject give's me anxiety. i recently developed the disorder and im convinced he made me this way. i think the only way i wont feel bad is if he breaks up with me. but that's never happened to me before
With all due respect Lamonda, after 8 yrs, why would ya want to destroy a good thing? If ya have kids and your man signed the birth certificates, be happy! A marriage doesn't need to to be documented on a piece of legal stationary. You are already married. Enjoy married life as you have been for the past 8 yrs.
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