Getting back into dating...

Jump to Last Post 1-6 of 6 discussions (9 posts)
  1. double_frick profile image64
    double_frickposted 8 years ago

    after having kids....as a woman, i'm terrified.
    for one: i look great, except for my stomach which is saggy and my boobs...not horrifying, but definitely not too sexy.
    for two: the guy i am dating was at one point married to a stripper...how the eff am i supposed to like, compete with that? now, i  know i dont need to feel the need to compete with ANY of his past sex partners...but...with my body and i feel a fool when it comes to sex now. and sexy lingerie? i buy diapers! sad wtf am i supposed to do?

    i'm terrified that he will see my stomach/boobs and either his desire will be a bit dampened or i will see a second long look across his face of disgust...and i won't want to do it. hahaha

    i'm so neurotic. *sigh*

    1. pylos26 profile image75
      pylos26posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      double_frick wrote:  getting back into dating…

      I ran this by my wife and she vetoed it!   What’s the world coming to?

      1. Mandar Sal profile image60
        Mandar Salposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        just relax, if he loves u then it wont bother him as much as u think!
        http://hubpages.com/hub/APromisetolove

    2. prettydarkhorse profile image62
      prettydarkhorseposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Remember, true love transcends physical issues..

      Most of us are looking for emotional bonding more than physical, although at first looks attract -- to turn it into a potential lasting relationship transcends the physical looks.

      You will be ok, let your other assets shine!

  2. wychic profile image86
    wychicposted 8 years ago

    I personally think that women worry about their bodies a heck of a lot more than men worry about women's bodies smile. Personally, I had a lot of the same worries after I left my first husband -- I was overweight, had horrible stretch marks from pregnancy, and had never even been with any man other than the one I'd just left. I've never had a very high self-esteem anyway, so it was rather terrifying.

    The guy that had caught my interest had had a long line of gorgeous girlfriends (yep, one stripper in there too) and has a beautiful ex-wife that he's still on good terms with. This did not help my confidence one bit, especially since we were corresponding long-distance for the first six months. I was really worried that he'd finally get here, see what was under the clothes, and want to head right back to where he came from. I honestly couldn't see why he was interested just from what he COULD see.

    Luckily, he obviously wasn't one bit worried about my "flaws," and often refers to pregnancy stretch marks as badges of honor. That was two years ago, and even now -- two weeks before the end of my second pregnancy, when I feel very much like a drowned cow and all those stretch marks have turned back up with a vengeance -- he is still very interested, has wonderful compliments, and has never once shown any sign of being less-than-pleased with what he sees.

    I guess one way to look at it is...would you care if he had a couple of sags or marks here or there? It's hard for me to accept that maybe men are no more concerned about "flaws" in a woman's body than a woman is about her man's body, but in most cases it does seem to be true.

  3. beautyrose profile image61
    beautyroseposted 8 years ago

    i need a date wink*

  4. pylos26 profile image75
    pylos26posted 8 years ago

    Whats a "date wink"?

  5. Bill Manning profile image73
    Bill Manningposted 8 years ago

    Don't worry about it double_frick, you look fine I'm sure. I've been out of the dating scene for years and I don't expect a perfect 10.

    The young guys do, but they are just looking for fun. Find a guy over 30 and if they want anything more than just sex your looks will be fine. smile

  6. kmackey32 profile image69
    kmackey32posted 8 years ago

    A guy will love you for you, dont worry about your assets as much.....I dont think I would want to be with someone who dated a stripper though..

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)