Abusive

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   Zaiden Jaceposted 12 years ago

   Would you stay in an abusive relationship? If you have been in one how did you get out?

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      kmackey32posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      No... i took my kids and myself at 8 months pregnant and went into a shelter.....

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         Zaiden Jaceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Good for you! Nobody deserves to be abused. It's even worst when there are kids involved.

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            kmackey32posted 12 years agoin reply to this

            yea it is...

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         katiem2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Good for you "L"
         
         I've been in an abusive relatiionship, I got out, I told everyone what was going on, kept NOTHING A SECRET, got a lawyer and was divorced very quickly.  I have three older brothers, that helps!
         
         I must say, don't keep it a secret, talk to someone, speaking about it helps you to realize the reality of it all and face it more head on!
         
         Be safe, get out!

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         loveingyouposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Good for you!
         
         I know plenty of women who would never have the courage to do so!

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            saleheensblogposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Majority of the female of the third world I guess 90% are abused physically or emotionally.

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               Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

               it sucks because they really dont have a support system over there.

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                  saleheensblogposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                  lack of education, superstitions, unawareness, lack of support system...............

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      31alabama31posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      An abusive person is very insecure about themselves and feels the need to control you since they can't control anything else in their lives.  I was in one 3 years, had enough and divorced him, only to fall right back into another for 2 years.  I had witnessed my mom being abused as a child so thought it was normal.  I finally realized that there was happiness out there and I deserved better.

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      no, exit route should be well planned and extreme caution or all aspects covered to get safe and stay safe with the support of other women, ie; safe houses [at least in Canada] are a much smarter  move than shelters [traceable]  Be prepared emotionally to leave and change everything you have known or own.  If that is something you are prepared to do, you need to get out as soon as possible.
      
      Domestic violence is unacceptable [obviously] may those suffering find safe haven today
      
      

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   tnderhrt23posted 12 years ago

   I have been in an abusive marriage, kicked him out (by trickery), got a restraining order, had him put in jail for stalking...ugly business... Had the help and support of a therapist and friends. And faith in God.

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   A la carteposted 12 years ago

   Once a guy hits you it will never change..so get out. I seriously do not care if you do or don't.Am just saying how it is. OH BTW..abusers are not always physical..they can be emotional...ok how do I know..cause while I would never EVER  abuse someone physically I have recognized that I abused someone I love dearly emotionally.....and that is enough from me

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   dianne143posted 12 years ago

   This one is a nightmare and worst of my life and even there are times that it's hard to get out of it because of long term being together and I am afraid that it might cause a disaster to both of us even our families would be affected.
   
   So what I did is that I am slowly got cold to him and he wonders why I act that way. I got the courage and support to my family that I should unleashed my self with the help of God I done it with the right timing, that when I done it I won't feel any pity for him even if he cries and beg me to say I was so tough. Honestly even if we are in the abusive relationship we are used to it because we are blinded with the feelings we have to our partner and still we even set and give some chances to change and to start a healthy relationship. No matter how we love our someone our heart and mind do also get tired and will realized it is all wrong and we should need to correct it.
   
   If i were you help and love your self you have the right to stop it and don't prolong the agony if you are not happy. Do it fast before it's too late or it might lead that your partner wont let you go it will push him/her turns into a psycho and worst if he/she will stalk you because he can't accept the truth about your feelings.

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      Zaiden Jaceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Nicely said. Many people refuse to see that it won't get better by staying.  If he/she truly loved you they wouldn't be abusive.

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         dianne143posted 12 years agoin reply to this

         thank you zaiden... if someone loves you it must be  give and take. He/she should give an unconditional love right?
         
         If respect was lost  for sure relationship would gone wrong.

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   loveingyouposted 12 years ago

   I would not stay in an abusive relationship simply out of respect for myself.
   
   No women deserves to be treated disrespectfully or handled in anyway an abusive relationship will hold; simple respect and self worth should be put into consideration here.
   
   In addition, not only, but an abusive relationship is simply not founded on love, communication or trust. Without the basic necessities for a functional relationship, I see no point in staying.

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   reallygoodpoetryposted 12 years ago

   ya probebly
   the man can always change

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   Jeramiposted 12 years ago

   I agree with every comment made by the women who have posted in this thread.
   
       BUT  lets not forget that there are a number of different kinds of spousal abuse and Men do not have a monopoly in this area.
   
      And I say to all of these men and women,  Get out of that situation.

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   Sally's Troveposted 12 years ago

   This is such an important topic that I'm going to post this link to a Hub I wrote two years ago about resources for understanding what constitutes an abusive relationship:
   
   http://hubpages.com/hub/Resources-for-U … lationship
   
   To Jerami's point, abuse is not gender-specific. Also, abuse is not always recognized for what it is.
   
   Glad you got this topic rolling, Zaiden Jace.

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      Zaiden Jaceposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Glad you are enjoying it. I hope to open everyones eyes to this and how nobody should put up with it. I also have a couple of hubs on relationships.
      
      http://hubpages.com/hub/Signs-of-A-Bad-Relationship
      
      and
      
      http://hubpages.com/hub/Cycles-of-Violence
      
      I hope that these will help those see that they don't deserve to be mistreated.

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         Sally's Troveposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         We're traveling close to a place where we may be perceived as using the HP Forums for self-promotion, but I hope moderators see this thread and its links as essential information for those who may be in crisis or know someone who is.

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