How do you really know when it's time to say goodbye? Seriously.....

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (15 posts)
  1. donotfear profile image87
    donotfearposted 7 years ago

    What's the bottom line on it.....

    When ya lose interest in each other entirely?
    When it all becomes routine?
    When you are happy to have the house to yourself?
    When you passive aggressively drop his/her keys in the trash with the paper cup?
    When sex becomes a chore?
    When one or the other doesn't greet the you when they come in from work?
    When one or the other doesn't leave the porch light on for you?
    When your voice shows one ounce of defensiveness, the other flies off the handle?
    When you grasp at a few crumbs of affection?   

    So, ponder that for a while and feel free to respond and chime in to this public service.

    1. robilyn profile image72
      robilynposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Truly, everything you had mentioned can be changed and worked on if you truly love someone and that someone loves you back. From my own experience, I believe it is over when all pride, respect and consideration is gone. If arguments contain hateful words in which you use to purposely hurt the other.. or if you'd sink so low to accept being treated like a dog.. it's over. All respect is gone. Respect is earned as is trust. Disrespectful behavior is the beginning signs of a hate-filled heart. If you stay in a situation like that, it won't be long before you grow a hatred for that person. With all of my heart, I tried to make my marriage work. When the other person does not want to work just as hard to gain that love back, it will soon end. You should always give what you expect in return.. and it should be equallly done. It only takes one link to break the chain. If you feel there is nothing left to gain, and all hope is gone, it's time to move on and make some of the most difficult decisions of your life.

      1. donotfear profile image87
        donotfearposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        Beautifully said!!!  And so giving......I totally agree with what you say about ...always giving what you expect in return......

        Very good advice, it should help many many people.

  2. profile image0
    ahorsebackposted 7 years ago

    Once long ago I asked a friend ...."When is it time "? He replied , "you will know ...you will know". It just happens!....:-}

  3. PaulaHenry1 profile image75
    PaulaHenry1posted 7 years ago

    "you will know"...that is so true. It is something from w/in that tells you it is time to walk away. The 'in love' has passed and become 'love' or 'caring about' the other person. When you are happy they are staying late at work, dread the thought of alone time, find yourself attracted to others and not feeling guilty, it is time to go. Love is not an obligation, it should never feel as if it is...

    1. Lisa HW profile image66
      Lisa HWposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with those who say that you just know.  Someone can wonder for years, always thinking things are bad and yet hoping they'll get better (or else they aren't as bad as they seem).  Then, just one day it can hit a person that the whole things is dead - just the way anything that was once alive become 100% dead.  There are no questions or uncertainties.  It's just obvious that it's dead and not coming back to even partially being alive.

      I think all those things in the list the OP posted are just isolated "issues", maybe even signs or alarm bells.  They aren't, though, the thing that "pronouces" the relationship dead.  Someone's heart is.

      If the heart is speaking loudly enough, this may work for some people in doubt:  Imagine (assuming one's mother and father were normal and loving parents) if your parents could see what's going on, and how you're feeling and/or be made to feel.  Then ask if they'd be happy to see what they did, or if they'd be heartbroken.  Sometimes that can serve as a reminder to the heart to make its voice known a little more than it sometimes does.

  4. Cagsil profile image81
    Cagsilposted 7 years ago

    In this particular thread, I've only one response that fits the bill, per se.

    Listen to your heart. Then you'll know. wink

    1. Kiss andTales profile image77
      Kiss andTalesposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I read that the heart is treachous who can know it ! yes a heart can fool you thinking somthing is right when actualy it is wrong for us! can we say a surgeon or doctor works by the heart, no they act from there hard work of skill and education on there field allowing them to use there skills to the best of there ability! trial and error have taught people  after the fact! but why let youself go down that road when there are red flags and warning signs! when its time to go! ,go ! because you have the facts, your past ads up to proof ,that this relationship is not the right one! and dont be like some who jump out the pot ,to jump in the kettle, heal first !and then go forward!

  5. profile image0
    mymedicinexposted 7 years ago

    My old relationship lasted three years.  It was nothing but an emotional roller-coaster.  We got bored constantly with one another, argued with one another and stayed together simply because we were so accustomed to being with another.

    He was an awful boyfriend... he was lying to be every day about something new (not an exaggeration), being manipulative, and verbally/emotionally abusive.

    I finally decided it was time to say goodbye when I realized not only that he didn't respect me anymore, but by putting up with what he was doing --- I didn't respect myself.

  6. profile image0
    ahorsebackposted 7 years ago

    One small bit of what is within these posts that needs clarification. Committment ! All the "indicators" in the world are only as good as the committing of Two hearts, two minds , and knowing the meaning of this one word.  Are you???  Or aren't you ?  One cannot save anything that both are not commited to. All tooo many base everything on sex, or emotional attention , or friends....Its all about TWO people committing to saving one relationship ! THAT !,is the most important factor of any relationship.

    1. Lisa HW profile image66
      Lisa HWposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      ..ahorseback, I think it's worth adding the other question about whether both people are committed to making things work the way they should in the relationship; and that is, whether the other person is as well. Sometimes the other person is committed to not ending the relationship, but not committed to doing what is required to make it a healthy one for both parties.

  7. gracenotes profile image90
    gracenotesposted 7 years ago

    Yes, indeed, you just know when it's time.

    First there's the "beginning of the end" stage.  That might last a few months, or a few years.

    You know when it's time because you have accumulated as much information as you will ever need to make a decision.  Of course, most people do not come to this stage in the game without agonizing thought.

    I also believe that there's an optimal time to make a decision.  And also, that it's possible to delay it so long that you are incapable of any action.  I know one existing marriage that fits that description.  Perhaps for them, in the end, the unknown was much more frightening to contemplate than staying together was.  They were separated several times.

    For me, I had no doubt that I would do extremely well being alone, because I had spent the majority of my life living that way.  It was easier for me.

    1. profile image52
      Tulips-smithposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Even though me and my ex are over now we went through exactly the same as you but I tell you something If there is any part of you that really loves this person don't say goodbye to them.

      Take some time to yourself.  Go to counselling If it will help.  When you find your about to argue with your partner or her with you take a breath and stop yourself.

      I wish I had done this with my ex sooner cause now whatever happens with us happens but just don't let someone gp without trying to fix what's right cause it is never to late to change anything trust me.

  8. Midnight Oil profile image80
    Midnight Oilposted 7 years ago

    You know when its time to say goodbye in your heart, but do you have the courage to do it.  It may take years before you final give in to your true feelings.

    1. profile image52
      Tulips-smithposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I just think why say good bye to someone If feelings are still there? Why not work through those feelings?

      May be I'm quite old fashioned to think this way but however that's just my opinion.  That one should only walk away when you truly stop loving your partner

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)