How to deal with the pain, when you didn't lose your guy?

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  1. Escobana profile image71
    Escobanaposted 7 years ago

    As I mention in my Hub....Can I put you in a box?...I knew a year ago, my sweetheart was going to live in Brasil, when we met.

    I'm Dutch and we met in Spain, we shared a life together...(just a year) though it feels like a lifetime of good and bad memories, ready to grow old together.

    However, he's gone since two days. Living at the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, trying to build US a new and better life than here in Spain.

    Sometimes I look around in our appartment, the empty closet, his side of the bed, his place at the couch, a silence so loud at times, that I can hardly bear the fact, that he's not here, to touch and to embrace me.

    I never asked him to stay in Spain for me but I'm overwhelmed sometimes by this inner sadness of simly missing him. Even though I will go and see him for 3 months, next year in Spring, I wonder if anyone can help me out with some practical and fun tips, to find a way and deal with reality.

    Your ideas will be very welcome to a newbee, in what they call...a long distance relationhsip:-)

    1. dilyana1976 profile image61
      dilyana1976posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It's not important where you live, it's important who you live with. A wise man knows that. Many people try different things and directions in their lives. Let's hope your beloved understands that  for himself soon. Brasil, USA, then where?! I don't tell you to forget him or sth, but let him live his own life.  Meanwhile you love and respect yourself more. Don't stop communicating with him naturally ( without suffocating him!), but MEET  A LOT OF PEOPLE. GOOD LUCK!!!

      1. Escobana profile image71
        Escobanaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        I think you misunderstood the US for USA? I meant to say he moved to Brasil because we both can have a better future up there. He moved away from a country in deep crisis, whereas Brasil is booming right now, giving him much more oppurtunities in life.

        I'm the lucky one with a pension, which I can receive in Brasil as well. I'm fond of the idea of building a life together at 'the other side' because that's what we both want, but first things first.

        Meeting friends is absolutely important and forgetting about him is no option:-) Not suffocating someone with your attention, is a very useful tip. Thanks for dropping by....

        1. dilyana1976 profile image61
          dilyana1976posted 7 years agoin reply to this

          Now I understand you have no problem. Just be patient and study Portuguese. The spring will come soon and then - 3 months (at least)  with your boyfriend ! BTW in the photo you both look lovely - happy and in love. I wish you all the best!

          1. Escobana profile image71
            Escobanaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Hi Dilyana:-)

            Guess my biggest challenge will be learning Portuguese! I did start already but it's much more difficult than Spanish or French. Thanks so much for your comment on the picture! We are very happy indeed:-)

  2. Chaotic Chica profile image74
    Chaotic Chicaposted 7 years ago

    Lots of communication.  Phone, text, pictures, letters (the old fashioned kind), e-mail, Skype is fantastic, or even personalized gifts.  Nothing has to be expensive (though international shipping can get costly depending on the package) but the biggest thing is support.  You have to make sure he understand that you do still care about him very much, enough to do whatever it takes to keep him interested and happy.  One big thing, get active.  Get involved in a new hobby, habit, or cause.  It will help by keeping you busy and prevent feelings of inadequacy and it also gives you something to talk about with him.  Good luck. big_smile

    1. Escobana profile image71
      Escobanaposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Chaotic Chica:-)

      Thanks so much for all the tips you gave me! Especially the personalized gifts I like. My new hobby would definitely be Hubpages and Skype indeed is the best way to communicate.
      Are all of these tips coming from someone who has been there maybe?


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