He forgave me. I'm very happy. Now what?

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   Escobanaposted 12 years ago

   When you have to time to reflect on your own behaviour, coming to the conclusion, you did the wrong thing, how do you go from there?
   
   I broke up (over the phone) in an impulsive state of mind with my boyfriend in Brazil. We were together for a year and planning on a future together. I live in Spain.
   
   He got very hurt by my impulsive and childish decision, but he knows me well so he waited a few weeks before I was able to talk normal about it.
   
   He forgave me completely, he still wants a future with me but he feels very hurt and insecure by my sudden decision, based on nothing really. I just wanted more attention than he could give me at the time, I got angry over it and we started a fight. It got out of hand because I tried to pressure him.
   
   Now that I'm used to the long distance relationship, I'm calm about it and I feel lucky for him being so understanding. I could have lost him too.
   
   To let him know, I truly care about him and to give him the support he needs right now, I'm thinking of moving to Brazil for half a year since I have no obligations in Spain.
   
   I would be able to live with him like we did in Spain, we would be able to find out if the love is strong enough and it would be an amazing way to travel in a country I don't know yet, being able to learn a new language.
   
   WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU TRULY LOVE YOUR LONG DISTANCE PARTNER?
   
   

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      AshtonFireflyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      If you truly care about him that much and don't have any obligations where you live, I'd say go for it. Good luck

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         Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks! I certainly will as soon as I have things ready for take off:-)

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            AshtonFireflyposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            

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      SimeyCposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I met my wife on the internet - she was in the US I was in England! We spoke online and on the phone for about a year - we then spent about six weeks together over a period of three months and then after another six months apart I finally moved to the US. That was in 1997 - I am still here and still happily married in 2011 - we celebrate our 15th anniversary next year.
      
      I found that by being apart we simply talked and talked and became best friends and knew each other so deeply.....

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         Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         That sounds like a beautiful way of finding your loved one! Being apart does create a deeper form of communication. A deeper form of understanding.
         
         I'm so happy for you two! Thanks for your reaction here:-)

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   Seek-n-Findposted 12 years ago

   Another word for love is risk!  It is a risk worth taking, in my opinion, because the alternative is to live with the question, "Could it have been different if I...?"  Love forgives--he showed you that.  Love sacrifices--perhaps your move will show him that?  I pray your love will be able to together rejoice.  There is a phrase:  "Intimacy breeds conflict breeds intimacy breeds conflict etc."  Good things can come from hard times--making up and growing up is a hope that can come after breaking up!  The fact that he forgave is a good sign--the fact that you recognized your mistakes is a good sign.  Good Luck.  :-)

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      Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      To move to Brazil is to show him how much I would do for him because I truly love him. It is a sacrifice and I will know later on if it worked out.
      
      I trust in the good outcoming. Forgiveness comes out of love. There is a lot of love. Good energy and positive vibes will make me decide the right thing.
      
      I do feel we grew together through this all. I'm working out all the posibilities for me to stay there for half a year. It's looking good so far!

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   IzzyMposted 12 years ago

   Just my tuppeny worth, I think you should go for it. Spain is in recession while Brazil is booming. I read a report the other day that their economy is one of the healthiest in the world and even beats the UK. (not that that would be hard, you understand).
   
   The language thing will be easy for you, I think. Pretty sure Brazilians speak Portuguese which is similar to Spanish.
   
   Just make sure you keep enough money aside somewhere for your air fare home if things don't work out.
   
   Good luck!

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      Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Brazil is booming! You're absolutely right. It helps me even more in feeling confident in moving to Brazil.
      
      I will be able to move back to Spain, after half a year or before that because I don't need to give up my apartment. Money I will have enough to go back but I hope things will work out:-)

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   Rosie2010posted 12 years ago

   Escobana, I'm so happy for you!  That is a lovely picture of you and your Brazilian boyfriend.
   
   I had met someone online too, from one of those dating/friendship sites.  We got to know each for two years (long distance) and then met at one of the site's get together.  My god, I was head over heels in love with this guy.  He was from Texas.. I love cowboys!  I am from Canada.. I love snow.  Because of health issues, he could not move to Canada, so I moved to Texas.  Sadly, my love story didn't have a happy ending.. I'm happily living back in Canada.  No regrets.. I would do it for love, again and again.  What can I say.. I'm a true romantic, or just plain stupid.
   
   I would say, follow your heart WITH an open mind.  Treat life as an adventure.. whatever will be, will be.  As Nike's slogan goes... Just Do It!
   
   Here's wishing you all the best this coming new year... Cheers!

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      Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm a true romantic like you and I wouldn't call it stupid at all. Life is an adventure in every sense of the way. Taking a risk will make me stronger than backing out because of fear.
      
      Apart from giving love a chance in Brazil, I also see the possibility of living my life there on my own, if things don't work out between the two of us.
      
      The adventure of a new life and a new chance of building it, will appeal to me always. It makes me even more whole as a person, being capable of handling my own happiness.
      
      Of course I'll hope my happiness can be combined with my sweetheart's happiness. That would make 2012 an awesome one!
      
      Best wishes to you too honey! XXX

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   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   Well I'm happy he forgave you.  Now just put it all behind you and live a happy life.  It's pointless to dwell on what was done wrong, it can't be undone or changed, all you can do is learn from it and look to the future.

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      Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I will put it all behind when there is no other way. For now, there are too many ways in order to rebuild the loving relationship we have.
      
      The distance makes things different but I'm confident we'll overcome this fase. We still want a future together. The only thing we need is patience and time. The love is already there.

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   Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

   Best of luck in Brazil. I hope the relationship gets even stronger with the two of you being together.
   He sounds like a great guy who really understands you!
   MM

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      Escobanaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      He truly is a great guy! Understanding and forgiving, following his heart to a better future in Brazil. When I join him next year, I feel we will bond even more.
      
      Thanks for your comment MM:-)

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