I think the barrier between men and happiness is fear and nothing else. Are you agree with me?
I think you should just come out and admit the cause of that fear --- wives!
I think there is a lot more to it. You have depression, nature and nurture and societal pressures that relate serious to responsible and happy to childish.
I do not think we will see much happy in the debates.
I think it depends on what you think the source of happiness is.
If you think its success... then you might have something. Although I agree with Eric D. that there's some bio-psycho-social things that can mess it up.
If you think God is the source of happiness, well then the only thing that stands between our happiness is our own pride.
Either way, its US!
Why 'men' in general? Why do you think that most men are not happy? I believe most unhappy people are so due to sad experiences and disappointments of which fear may be a product. The question is too general and it cannot pertain to most men.
it's not 'men' in general it's man as in people.. Although I've known of unhappy animals.......back to the discussion. People fear because they don't know and most are afraid to know. Knowledge supresses fear.
Well, first of all the question says 'men' not 'man'. And No, I do not believe the barier is fear. I like my answer because I have found it to be true in many people's cases including my own. And because of this many people don't know how to be happy
That is how I understood the question as well. Men as in mankind.
I know I'm being silly for continuing with this. But isn't mankind 'man' and not men? Mankind, the human being and humanity = man (not men). "Man cannot live by bread alone"
lulian M, I will come to your rescue and agree with your insightful observation. Yes, I think fear is at least one of the most common barriers to happiness. Fear is the nemesis of alcoholics and addicts who struggle to face the hardships of life without their drug of choice. People are afraid of what others think of them. There are those who have phobias that prevent them from socializing, traveling, even leaving their homes. Fear of becoming overweight leads some to eating disorders (although I admit I know nothing about eating disorders). And what of those whose lives are spent in jobs and relationships and religions which they won't leave behind because of fear? Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head lulian M.
I think fear plays a big part. Both now and historically, women have been victimized and discriminated against by men. This is has caused women as a group to view men with distrust.
Hi lulian M!
Don't believe that fear is man's greatest barrier. I believe that most men are probably misunderstood primarily because they do not easily share with others what is really going on inside of them.
I think fear is the reason we don't follow through on most things in life. Fear of failure is the greatest roadblock to success. It touches us in relationships, too. Fear of rejection truncates many connections we might otherwise attempt.
We might actually excel in things we wish for if it weren't for fear of trying.
May the blue bird of happiness perch on your shoulder.
What are you trying to say?
I think I agree with you that the writer seems to be trying to say something. And I think the writer is trying to say that men is fearful of marriage, which in fact will make them happy.
Could a woman have a big enough ego to presume that if a man doesn't marry 'her' then he has a problem with happiness? You bet your divorce she does !
My answer is a bit simplistic in its presentation but, in my humble opinion, it's the content that should be considered by everyone, not just men. Happiness, for those who strive to obtain it, is often elusive. The question here for men, is why? In my experience it is not because of fear, although that is a primary factor if we cannot overcome our fears. We often become bound by them.
Happiness, in my view, is a choice more than anything else. For years in my life I was striving to be happy. I overcame many of the fears that I believed were preventing me from being where I wanted to be...Happy.
It wasn't until I made the conscious choice to let go of all of my preconceived notions about what happiness is or what prevented me from "dancing with it" that I was able to enjoy its presence in my life. In other words, I chose to accept what already existed (happiness) in my life and therefore garnered the energy I was using to pursue it, to enjoy it instead!
There is more, but this is not the forum!
Thank you for a wonderful question!
Fear is an enemy. But there are other enemies also. Happiness is nothing but kingdom of God. But to become happy you need to overcome the barricades of selfishness, pass through the dark waters of vanity, break the seals of the narrow-mindedness and, finally, find within the ocean of peace, humility and patience.
Fear of failure, fears to express,
Fear to be a blight, in its duress.
Happiness sought, without worry,
No barrier to block, or just to bury.
It could be fear. It could also be a lack of knowledge of what would actually make them happy. Sometimes we're lost and we don't know why; I think that the distance between ourselves and what makes us happy is defined by our actions, so perhaps the barrier between men and happiness is inaction? I think there must be a variety of possibilities, and not every choice would be true for all men either.
But actually,Well no I don't entirely agree with this. I think it's more personal contentment and the feeling of accomplishment. Fear is and can be a great motivator but it's isn't always a barrier.Sometimes it's the one thing that makes someone accomplish something that stands between them and their happiness.
Thanks for getting my mind going.
And after reading the other comments I had to address something. Did you mean "men" as in " man/humans as a whole" or did you mean "men" as in "males only"? I don't really want to have a weird gender war but what I got out of reading this questions was MAN and not men v.women. I could be wrong.
I think in both men and women the only thing that stands in the way of happiness is themselves. Most unhappy people have been through a tough times and dwell on those sad and tough times which then cause them to be unhappy. Having trouble moving on from past experiences are their down fall.
Like the saying goes, The grass is always greener on the other side, that is until you are on the other side. Someone makes more money, has a better house or car. Wanting to have more than what you have or can afford can cause people to be unhappy.
Same with couples that are divorced they have single friends having a good time and they long for that, after acting on it , it wasn't so good after all.
Both men and women need to start taking a look at what they do have, like their health, their family and friends, and start appreciating what they actually do have, Money is not the key to happiness , neither are material things.
If everyone could look past the material things and their past bad experiences and enjoy the present with what they do have they would be much happier.
You can't control what is going to happen in the future, you can plan for it , but you can't live your world worrying about it. Start thinking about the good in your life each and everyday , take something bad and turn it positive and you will start to feel happy and grateful for what you do have.
That's right, blame it on the male. There is nothing outside of you that has the power to make you unhappy, unless you give something or somebody that power. Yes, guys have dicks, but all are not one......unless of course you just can't stand the truth.
Men as a gender? That is a 'large' question. World Wide happiness is so diversified in definition between genders it would be a challenge to pin it down. The same with fear regarding culture and societies. From the understanding I have both Fear and Happiness are a state of being and not an emotion, therefore is not innate as the question rightfully alludes to.
Many feel (emotion) fear and happiness are emotions. That leads to confusion. At times emotions expressed are what is used for determining or interpretation of a state of being - fear or happiness. I am not sure, yet speculatively I think one can only be in one state of being at a given moment. Yet, those expression(s) of that state of being can be mixed within differing and transitive emotions, which may be interpreted by another party(s).
A propositional question could be is it possible for person to be lost in thought while not expressing emotions be in a state of happiness?
The association of Fear being attached to understanding could mean the one observing knows that individual lost in thought is happy. Not understanding why, a state of fear 'may' be entered by the observer. Or, an observed state of happiness fostered, created, affected a state of fear within the observer who doesn't understand whatever or something. Or, dissonance occurred?
I am completely agreed with you and its my personal experience about it.
I believe that fear is a result of a deep rooted anger or resentment. We can choose to live in a fear based world or a world of happiness and love. Really look at what makes you angry or what you resent in life, underneath you will discover a fear; every time.
In order to learn the important lessons in life, one must each day surmount to fear.
So yes I must agree with the question we create our destiny, you can choose happiness or fear. However John Hobbs has been quoted saying "Men keep together the mistakes of their lives and create a monster, they call Destiny." And I agree with this also.
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