How did your spouse react to you coming out of the broom closet?

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   Madmitch5posted 8 years ago

   How did your spouse react to you coming out of the broom closet?
   
   I am wanting to restart my journey into Wicca.  I know this is what I want and what I feel is right for me.  I used to be but bc of a few people I left. But I am feeling called back and it is what I feel I must do.  I know it is right for me.  But I fear my wife's reaction.  We have 2 kids and another on the way and I fear she will tell me to leave.  I know it is a possibility. I just want to know if anyone has any tips on telling your spouse.  I want to restart my wiccan journey but I want her to be apart of it.  I am prepared for the chance she will reject, I don't wanna hide it from her.

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2. 85

   WiccanSageposted 8 years ago

   Well, I was Wiccan before we met and my husband is Pagan so it wasn't an issue for me. But I feel for you being in such a hard spot.
   
   Are you sure your wife would react so harshly? Is it possible she'd be willing to talk about it or at least respect you rights to explore your beliefs? Be willing perhaps to educate herself enough just to quell whatever unfounded fears she might have so that you can proceed to explore your own spiritual path? I agree it's not something you should hide, but does she have to really be part of it? Wouldn't it be better to just get her to accept that it's something you need to do, without feeling you need to involve her? Because that might be a better approach.
   
   With her being pregnant it may be bad timing to spring something on her that would stress her out, and I don't know what religion she is or what kind of ideas she might have about Wicca. But at some point, if you feel your spirituality pulling you in a different direction, it's going to have to come up. I mean, we can't live a lie to please others, no matter how much we love them. At some point we have to be true to ourselves and what we believe and follow our own path (whether that's Wicca or something else). If the person we're with can't respect that then there is a problem that is going to need some serious attention.

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   1. 53

      Madmitch5posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Last night she found out I was researching Wicca. And I was forced to talk about it and she was hurt. Reminded me of pain that happened last time I started my path back in 2011. My mentor went mad and opened up the door to a lot of bad spirits.

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      WiccanSageposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Not sure how a mentors mental health issues 'opens doors to bad spirits' or gave you pain. U both might want 2 considr that mentor, being mad, didn't give you a good impression of Wicca. Research might help you both with misconceptions and fears.

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      Madmitch5posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It's more complicated than 250 characters can allow.  But I understand what you are saying

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      WiccanSageposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I agree it's more complicated, you might want to consider a forum post rather than using the answers format to get a good discussion going.

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3. 39

   ChristinSposted 8 years ago

   A wife that would tell you to leave simply for having a different belief system isn't very committed, is she? Would she really do that? Or are your fears of rejection perhaps a bit exaggerated?
   
     I highly doubt most women who are devoted wives/mothers would leave their marriages and traumatize their kids over something of this nature.  If they would, then they weren't really serious about the vows in my opinion.
   
   My grandmother was a former nun and a devout Catholic all of her life.  She spent many years married to my grandfather who was unabashedly atheist.  They managed to get on just fine because they had personal boundaries and respected one another's personal choices. 
   
   This takes maturity, effort to communicate openly and better understand one another and a willingness to allow the other person to follow their own truth.  If you can both do this; you'll be stronger for it ultimately.
   
   You have every right to have whatever spiritual beliefs you want (or not) and so does your wife.  I would keep your religion a personal journey and not involve her unless she specifically wants to be involved in it.  Respect goes both ways.
   
   I think it will be fine and her being pregnant is no reason to not sit down and discuss it with her.  She should know this and I have to wonder why you didn't discuss this with her prior to your marriage as it seems an important part of your background.
   
   Good luck

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   1. 53

      Madmitch5posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      She told me that if i go down a wiccan path she can't have it around the kids. She is afraid. And reminded me of my experience last time when my mentor went mad and many bad spirits were oppressing me.

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4. 53

   Madmitch5posted 8 years ago

   So last night my wife found out I was researching Wicca and was upset. I think she went through my phone. Upset I didn't talk to her sooner.  She almost punched me. She told me that if I go down this path then she won't be apart of it and will not have the kids around it either. She reminded me of the last time I started my path in 2011 with a teacher who lost his mind and opened up the door to many harmful spirits that oppressed me for a while. But I am feeling called to start my path again. She is convinced I will cause nothing but pain to myself and my family.  She is also hypocritical bc when she want to learn about Islam I told her fine,  go ahead.  But inwamt to learn about Wicca and expand my mind and spirituality she shuts down. I didn't tell her bc she is dealing with a lot with the pregnancy and everything.  So I did my research in private,  waiting until I had my answers and figured things out. I am also done with how she treats me.  Like a servant boy.  Forcing me to work until my body breaks.  Which last year I collapsed at home and she barely blinked. I work myself to the bone but she isn't capable of changing herself I think.  She tries but it only lasts 3 days. Idk I don't wanna lose her or my kids. But I must follow my heart.  Am I wrong?

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   1. 39

      ChristinSposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Marriage counseling.

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      Madmitch5posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Refuses to go to counseling. Tried

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      WiccanSageposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hon you sound like you have bigger problems than religious differences here and definitely need to look into marriage counseling. And you definitely want to find a better source from which to learn Wicca than a person having mental health  issues.

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   4. 53

      Madmitch5posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you Mackenzie

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