Forgiveness

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   sandrakjohnstonposted 5 years ago

   What is your personal definition of forgiveness?  How did you develop or learn your style of forgiving?

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      bhattucposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Forgiveness comes with maturity. A prudent person will forgive others as he knows that the offender is immature and childish.

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   Bede le Venerableposted 5 years ago

   Forgiveness: The willingness to let go of animosity towards a person (or persons) who have caused me or others pain.
   
   Forgiveness is difficult for everyone but I think certain persons have an easier time with it. For instance, humble persons easily forgive; proud persons hold on to resentment. Persons who grew up in large families find many opportunities to practice forgiveness. They learn the art of forgiveness early on. Children whose parents taught them to forgive by way of example and advice have an easier time forgiving as adults. 
   
   It’s not always easy, virtually impossible at times, to let go of the emotion of hurt and consequently it’s more difficult to forgive. However, on the level of the will, it's possible.
   
   Personally, I find it helpful to pray for persons who have hurt me and sincerely wish them well. Also, it helps to empathize and make excuses – “So and so must surely have had a difficult childhood,” etc.

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      RTalloniposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Willingness really is a main part of the process. Accusing someone of being unforgiving when they may actually be willing to grant forgiveness is unfair, and usually a tactic used by an offender who is unrepentant yet wanting to have a relationship with someone they have harmed. 
      
      Besides what you mention, forgiveness can also more difficult when the offense is more serious.  A good quote to remember is something along the lines of how the scope and scale of repentance must match the scope and scale of an offense. 
      
      When a Christian prays for an offender miracles happen and the Christian has receives great blessing from God for their obedience. Not sure making excuses is a good idea, but what you may really mean is to try to be as understanding about offenses as possible, particularly small ones.
      
      An excellent book on this topic is "Unpacking Forgiveness" from Chris Brauns. It has been a tremendous help to us and to others we know.

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      1. 99

         Bede le Venerableposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Making excuses for an offending person certainly helps. I admit that I don’t practice empathy and mercy as I ought. We have our emotions to deal with first. Nonetheless, I can’t pray the Our Father if I’m holding any sort of grudge.
         
         I honestly don’t understand how certain people behave as they do. I reason with myself that they perhaps they had a difficult childhood or some personality defect, etc.

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3. 68

   sandrakjohnstonposted 5 years ago

   Thank you for your response!  You are on track with the ability to live free in the habit of forgiving.  God bless you!

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      Bede le Venerableposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      One other thing regarding humility – If I consider myself to be a sinner in need of God’s mercy, then it’s so much easier to forgive. If I desire mercy, then I must show mercy. It’s simple logic.

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4. 77

   blessedpposted 5 years ago

   My personal definition of forgiveness is to let go the bitterness, anger and hatred I hold in my heart towards persons that have hurt me or others that I love.
   
   I have hated some people in my life that have hurt me to the depth of my soul but didn't know how to release these people from my heart. This made me toxic and bitter. It made me think, wish and speak evil about these people.
   
   But I prayed for forgiveness when I realized I couldn't move forward if I didn't let go and forgive. It took time but God did hear and answered my prayers and helped me to forgive them.
   The bible tells us how can God forgive us if we don't forgive others. It takes love and a repenting heart to receive forgiveness that we may also forgive others.

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   Mary Ann roaposted 3 years ago

   If you forgive others for their mistakes, God will forgive you as well.
   
   Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
   
   We are all sinners and no one should boast. Only our God has the right to judge.
   
   I wish to share with you this amazing Bible app. Visit the website here www.yourgratitudejourney.com

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      Castlepalomaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      How can Christians forgive when unbelievers are often not accepted in the first place.
      
      For example five Christian girlfriends in a row. Dumped me because I couldn't be saved. I accepted all of them, yet they could not accept me for who I am.
      
      Get pass acceptance before mastering forgiveness.

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         Bede le Venerableposted 3 years agoin reply to this

         A Christian who won't forgive? She's a Christian only in name. "Forgive us our trespasses as  we forgive those who trespass against us." If I don't want God to forgive me, then I should bear a grudge towards those I despise.
         
         My roommate in college was an unbeliever (at that time) and we were great friends despite that wall.

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         1. 78

            Castlepalomaposted 3 years agoin reply to this

            Friends would be easier to set boundaries than having a girlfriend lover. Their ultimate love would not be me, I cant take the hand away from their God.
            
            It began with not reporting Jesus nailed on the cross to amnesty international. Start with stopping regrets. Begin with forgiving and forgetting the Romans ignorance and arrogant.
            
            Forgive me for saying the first four commandments is just stroking God.

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