Ok! How many of you would like to see these two seemingly opposing (or are they one?) battle it out for supremacy. Who do you think would win? Personally, I think the FSM would kick the crap out of the IPU if they could locate them.
I have converted to DSG (Drunken Start Goat) and I have had esoteric knowledge imparted to me (you cannot go out and learn this shit) that the universe was vomited up by a Drunken Star Goat.
Now - this is not a beleif - this has been proven to me scientifically by mind transfer, and I have a half a degree in Maths Science, so I know what I am talking about. Plus - there are goats (amen) - which is further proof for the heathen un-believers.
as High Priest of the Hamsterhood of the Plaid Lodge, i am a keen observer of many belief systems and i reserve the right to pick any one explanation for this tomfoolery existence i find myself in so i have to conclude that all religions whether they can be proven or not are equally valid.
You must choose one! There is only one true god, err 2 true gods, .... or maybe 3. Anyway the star goat vomit proof seems incontestable! Proof is proof, non believers just don't understand goats very well, not their fault, I just pity the hell outta them!
I will feel so superior when that happens. I just hope it happens soon so I am proved right! I love to go Nah Nah Nah Nah a lot! and if we all have to die for me to be able to enjoy that. well so be it!!
ah but you know not of the Hamster Prophecy and our struggle with the Mice of the Paisley Persuasion. long after man has been exterminated from this planet and rodents rule the world, these silly deities will have no place among the superior rodent races.
it was the Mice of the Paisley Persuasion that set off the earthquake in Haiti by setting off a Mandelbrot series of suicide attacks on mousetraps around the globe triggering the temblor. they mean to claim the island of Hispanola. but that's just the start. their Butterfly Effect attacks will have devastating consequences for mankind. at the Hamsterhood of the Plaid Lodge, we hamsters, who have pity for mankind, seek to save man from the destructive designs of the Paisley Mice. it was shortly after my podcast interview where i revealed their mousetrap strategy that they launched their attack. you don't have to take my word for it, if you want, you can contact me and i will give you the link to the podcast.
That's because he is invisible. You need to practice blind faith and read a book about him written by humans and believe it to be the whole and complete truth. Only then can you begin to believe and be saved by the Horney One.
yes a book written by humans is the proper foundation for any faith-based endeavor. i myself, being part human, am writing the Book of Hamster to guide my fellow creatures so that they don't fall astray, misled by all the other books. you see i am part hamster and the rodents, the eek, shall inherit the earth. you will all be delivered by my word or at least get a good laugh.
I am so glad you are writing the book. Provides the solid proof doesn't it! The written word has the magical quality of being true, so that will shut all those other losers up immediately! I can hardly wait for the paperback!
in the beginning there were some hamsters though they couldn't count so there was no telling how many but it was considered a multitude. they loved to play in peace and harmony and gathered with their wheels to celebrate their great spirit and their imagination was such that it gave rise to a divine spark in the vacuum. this they called the riddle of the vacuum and they often sat and wondered at this new thing that stood apart from the hamsters.
it came to pass that there was a stirring in the riddle of the vacuum and the hamsters were perplexed by this new development. they decided to hold a council to decide what to do about the stirring for it troubled the multitude. they had lived in peace and harmony ever since they could remember and the stirring in the riddle of the vacuum having caused dis-ease among them, the council was called immediately.
Tantrum please don't tell me this! You know how much I respect your religious beliefs! I had hoped that the carnivorous purple unicorns, being a very logical theory would replace some of the less believable theories written elsewhere.
They're the experts on sex aren't they? Their motto of "just don't do it it's filthy" seems to have missed the mark with some of the young ones, Just because the Pope does not have sex doesn't mean he is not the world authoritative expert on it does it?
ALL HAIL! (bowing) the lofty princess goddess speaketh! Her dulcet tones proclaim SEX IS GOOD! (and no one can really say for sure that the pope doesn't have sex, anyway. He may have a couple wives and a bundle of babies hidden somewhere out behind the vatican!)
I saw the IPU's shadow once - it was fleeting but def was the IPU, or it could have been his mate, I'm not sure, they look very much alike except she is light blue - and then they have little one, male I believe, who is lavender and a bit of a sissy I have heard. You can hear the baby crying sometimes - sounds very much like a baby goat bleeting but there is a plaintive human cry to it - if you ever hear him you will know. So I will vote for the papa IPU because he is powerful, his horn is sharp, his pinkness is blinding (to the sphagetti guy, who has the power to see the IPU) and he has so much to fight for, family etc.
I don't believe in the goat vomit theory, but you sound like you know alot about goats. I just don't think that goats would submit to milking if they had the power to create universes!
mega1 you have raised many deep and troubling facts here, and I think I may need a lie down. The power of your words has knocked me off my feet and into a deep religious trance that has me speaking in tongues like the wonderful Sara. Blessings from all or any of the gods I think.
GREETINGS!!!!!! I have just returned from the divine herd! The Horney One seeing that I was superbly righteous brought me to the divine corral. He has claimed this day a holiday for evermore. Today shall be known as Hornmas. The day that the Invisible Pink Unicorn ascended to the divine corral after the sacrifice of it's carnivorous ways. It proclaims all Horney followers to only eat plastic except every other tuesday. On these days you may eat spaghetti in a religious rite known as "The Purge OF The Monster." Do not doubt this for it is written in the human made book, and everybody knows that humans do not lie.
so what is the consensus here? FSM or IPU? or could they possibly unite and transmogrify into a Flying Invisible Pink Spaghetti Monster Unicorn and end this seeming schism of belief? can't we all just get along?
Our lady, who art the holiest one, big deal is your tantrum name! Give us this day the ability to tell the difference between trash and quality! Help us on our shopping trip to get the best deal! Forgive us when we whine! Deliver everything on time so we don't miss my sister's birthday, and let others worry whether we say the right things in the forums! Ah-choo!
tantric tantrum, deliverer of the word, direct us to our innermost hamster so that we may beseech the wheel to turn on its own and deliver us from icky bedding so that we may have comfort in our hour of repose!
I have word from The Mighty Invisible Pink Unicorn! It wishes a copulation with The Flying Spaghetti Monster at the nonsensical trough. Let it be here decreed that no special sauce shall be obtained by superfluous means until the celestial timer has dinged the return of The Horney One!
The great copulation is now in jeopardy. It seems The Horney One is lodged in a meatball. All pray to tantrum the deity of copulation for relief before the cosmic fertility is lost to the eternal plankton!
yeah, its amazing. He can pretty much be anyone he wants to be. He could be me, if he wanted, but right now, not, because me is busy. But later, when I go to sleep, he could take over me! Weirder and weirder. I guess, I better not sleep then.
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Dear Religious Hubbers.I've been reading your bible in an effort to understand why the religious forums here are so full of aggressive, hating, people.I think I've found the answer, because the bible is a very strange document that sanctions all sorts of violent acts and behaviours. I've posed some...
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