Why Won't Everyone Just Accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster As Their One And True God?
I mean, its only logical.
That's a good question! We actually do have proof that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists. Every time someone tosses its noodly goodness into the air, one is blessed by continuing life, love, and happiness! I think those are the de facto requirements for a god.
Logical? Really? I guess the reason why everyone will not accept the flying spaghetti monster as their one true god is because they aren't idiots. I mean, the flying spaghetti monster? Is that the best you can do?
At least you can see, hear, touch, feel, smell, and taste it!
As long as you know pastafarian. It's a noodly language.
I have commited no sins. Don't need anybody to die for me. How many sins have you committed?
"The Flying Spaghetti Monster's not dead, he's surely alive, he's roaring on the inside, roaring like a meatball..."
He does tend to turn into feces after i eat him though. But i smile as i flush! He has nourished my body well.
I would bet that it is the lack of exposure. There are countless minds out there that are looking to be filled up with what ever is available and had the Flying Spaghetti Monster been known to them I'm sure there would be a lot more followers. Noting that you use capitals for all words it might be hard to know if it is just the flying spaghetti monster or THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER. I would suspect as with all true Gods there are bound to be lesser gods that want the same billing as the Real Deal. After looking into this because of your question I see there are lots of sects/denominations. Some want cream sauce, Some a tomato sauce, some are inclined to want meat with their sauce. I've even heard that there are some sects that demand a certain kind of cheese always be with their God. Lots to this thing there opportunity for money here I can see it now. Send us your money and the Monster will fly over and take care of you. Send us the money and the special sauce will be yours so you to can be as your leader. You have just cracked the door on this one for sure. Good find.
It's true! If you fail to use the CORRECT sauce, you may end up in the pit of bathroom hell - on your knees - worshiping the white bowl of remorse! So, yes! pay the extra tithe for the one true sauce!
Ah yes the porcelain alter of repentance. Best utilized on your knees in full submission. Lucky that a clean slate/bowl is just a flush away.
by hamstersmessiah 7 years ago
Ok! How many of you would like to see these two seemingly opposing (or are they one?) battle it out for supremacy. Who do you think would win? Personally, I think the FSM would kick the crap out of the IPU if they could locate them.
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