Why is Civil Union not recognized by the church?

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  1. Julie2 profile image59
    Julie2posted 12 years ago

    Such as being married in City Hall.

    This memory came to surface as I answered a fellow hubbers question on another forum.

    The first time I got married I was 21 and had little money. My husband and I paid $25.00 and were married in City Hall. For our 5 year wedding anniversary we saved up money to have the big wedding in church. When we went to meet with the priest, we were told that we had been living in sin for 5 years, that our marriage was not recognized by God or the church.

    Needless to say the priest had a lot more to say that was very insulting and disturbing when it came to our children but that would be another forum conversation.

    1. Stump Parrish profile image60
      Stump Parrishposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      IMO, it's because the church has placed themselves above the laws that everyone is supposed to obey.

      Yoy really have to love the line of crap they spread. Here is an example of the church maintaining a seperation of it's self from the state and most of the time they fight to break this seperation down. I suppose that since the church is staffed by humans we shouldn't be suprised when they exhibit human tendencies.

      I ran into a similar problem when my ex and I got married. My family was never a religious one and the one time I was actually baptised, it was mormon. The catholic priest was at first reluctant to marry a mormon to a catholic in his church.

      The catholic church is just like the rest of them, big business and they seek to protect their market share. I love the way they like to use guilt to punish those who trust them so much.
      Look at the way they attacked you and your husband with the living in sin attitude. This could be constued as meaning that the catholic church forbids marriage until those seeking to get married can pay their fees and rent their facility. What possible good can come from attacking two people that have shown the rare ability to stay together for any legnth of time and the children they love? Only in a church could someone that cruel and ignorant have a job for life.

      1. Julie2 profile image59
        Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Stump Parrish, That priest "The Man of The Cloth" that is supposed to spread the word of love and compassion devastated me to the point that I turned away from the church for 15 years.

    2. Jeff Berndt profile image76
      Jeff Berndtposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well, first, I'm sorry your church/minister/priest treated you that way, but, second, well, why should a church recognize a civil marriage?

      If it did, why would anybody pay for a big church wedding if they could be married in the eyes of the state and God at an inexpensive civil ceremony?

      The State can't, and shouldn't, compel a church to recognize any marriage not performed by its own representatives. Churches, however, can, and ought to, treat people married in other churches or in civil ceremonies as married, and not disrespect, disparage, or cast aspersions upon their union. The rules of courtesy dictate this at the very least. But there's no law against being a jackhole.

      1. Julie2 profile image59
        Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        It may not be accepted in the eyes of the church but it should at least have been respected. Like I said before, I had no money for the church wedding I wanted, civil was all I could afford at the time. Either way I was married. To then have someone say that it didn't count for anything, that I really wasn't married to begin with was harsh.

        But I'm ok now! smile I'm no longer married to him anyway. He became a nightmare so I got a divorce which was also considered a big no no.

  2. wilderness profile image95
    wildernessposted 12 years ago

    The church lost out on the money you would have paid them and, more importantly, they lost out on their authority and power when you went elsewhere to have the same thing done.

    I rather doubt that God cared either way.  I've always felt that marriage is a state of mind - I don't need either a priest or a piece of paper from city hall to tell me I'm married.  The piece of paper may give legal rights and obligations but not moral ones and the priest can do no different.  My moral and ethical rights and obligations come from inside me, not from someone else - while the priesthood may desire to convince you otherwise you don't need them and you don't need their condemnation for not using them.

    It's just another method used to keep you and your money within the church and under their thumb.

    1. Julie2 profile image59
      Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      In my heart I know that God didn't care either way. After all was said and done I realized that I could have gotten married in an alley and still would have had his blessing.

      1. wilderness profile image95
        wildernessposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Indeed you could have.  And used a stray cat for the official.  You might have missed out on the legal ramifications but that's all.  Or so I see it.

      2. Stump Parrish profile image60
        Stump Parrishposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Thats what I dont understand about churches, or I should say those who work in them. IMO it is this kind of treatment that is driving people away from the churches. Personal power seems to have affected preists and preachers the same way it's effected our elected government officials. A lot of people are still searching for answers and the list of hoops you have to jump thru just to get to the point where you can submit a question, continues to grow. My ex said the same thing to me and her priest. If he refused to marry us she would leave the church, and never look back. This priest had put his personal feelings ahead of those he was there to serve. Jst normal day in church land to me. As more and more people leave the organized churches I am pretty sure that humanity will benefit. Too much hatred and distrust is being preached in way too many church buildings. A personal relationship with a god if you choose to believe in one has got to be a better way than what we got today.

  3. Julie2 profile image59
    Julie2posted 12 years ago

    We were taught that God is everywhere growing up. I do not feel that I need to go to church to speak to him. I speak to him and his son anywhere I am at the moment I feel the need. I could be cooking in my kitchen, in the car with the kids, cleaning the house and you will hear me speaking to Jesus or God.

    I never understood why I had to be in a building with four walls in order to worship when Jesus himself used to preach in open fields sitting on grass or rocks. He loved to preach out in the open because it made him feel closer to his father. So why cant I embrace their love from anywhere?

    1. Druid Dude profile image60
      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      A civil union is secular. No such thing exists in the church. You get a Consecrated Union in church. I believe that the unspoken commitment between two people is the consecration of that commitment, therefore see civil union as an attempt to regulate the union, and that the church need not outwardly consecrate that which has already been sealed in the hearts and minds of those who are brought together. In short, who we love, why we love, and how we love is no one else's business. Not State, and not Church.

      1. Stump Parrish profile image60
        Stump Parrishposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        DD, you're right it's none of their business, they choose to ignore this and have turned it into a money making business.

        1. Julie2 profile image59
          Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Hey DD! wink

    2. Stump Parrish profile image60
      Stump Parrishposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Julie, the only thing standing in your way is those who get paid to provide that service for you and remember, they really dislike the do it yourselfers out there.

      1. Julie2 profile image59
        Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        lol thank you...

  4. Jerami profile image59
    Jeramiposted 12 years ago

    If Ya think about it ?????

      If a marriage had to be performed within some kind of church building, in order to be sanctified by God; 99.999999999 % of all marriages sense the beginning of time were non-sanctified

    1. Julie2 profile image59
      Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this


    2. Druid Dude profile image60
      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Heart and mind, joined by the soul, flesh of one flesh, bone of one bone. Two joined souls complete the Man. Four hands, four feet, and two heads. Why? Because two heads are always better than one, and four hands are always needed for those tricky jobs. Four feet? Teaches us to be patient with the half that isn't quite as strong.

      1. Julie2 profile image59
        Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

        that is really nice.

  5. Jerami profile image59
    Jeramiposted 12 years ago

    @ Jeff Berndt   But all Churchs gave itself the authority to speak for God.  Were you not at the meeting?

    1. Druid Dude profile image60
      Druid Dudeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Naw. That's what they get for chasing Peter and Paul down that primrose path, so they would all end up exactly where they are. Still wandering in darkness wondering why the second coming is so overdue.

      1. Jerami profile image59
        Jeramiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        Is IT ??   
           I think that there were several meetings that we all didn't attend.

    2. Julie2 profile image59
      Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Jerami you are terrible! lol

      1. Jerami profile image59
        Jeramiposted 12 years agoin reply to this

        YEP !!  I have heard that a ...WHOLEeee LOT

          I'm starting to believe it.   ... LOL

  6. DoubleScorpion profile image77
    DoubleScorpionposted 12 years ago

    To answer the question posted in my opinion only... The Catholic and Mormon church are two that comes to mind when talking about civil weddings...The thought behind it is that since you and your spouse were not joined together under god as witness by the clergy then your are not married in gods eyes...Now with that being said...not all churches feel this way...and of course it doesn't matter to the state who marries you as long as you have your marriage license and it has been correctly filled out and filed...Oh and in some states the minister or officiant has to be registered with the state or the union isn't legally binding. No matter if "god" approve it or not...A friend of mine who is Catholic was married by a Justice of the Peace...long story short it wasn't his best decision...anyway because he was married by the clergy and witnessed by god... the church didn't considered him married...therefore didn't count his divorce against him either...Now if I read the bible correctly... it says let no MAN seperate (rend assunder) what GOD has joined together...says nothing about being supervised by clergy for a union to count...just that you join together under god...And since the bible also says something along the lines of "obey the laws of the land" I would say that as long as you are legally married per the laws of your state... then you are joined together under god... Just my opinion of course though

    1. Julie2 profile image59
      Julie2posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      You always amaze me DS... I want to educate myself on other religions as well. If you can recommend some literature to me I would appreciate it. Email me the information if you can.

      Thank you.

  7. japtaker profile image80
    japtakerposted 12 years ago

    I could answer this question with another question: why was a heliocentric solar system (a somewhat redundant phrasing, if you actually look at the words) not recognized by the church for the longest time? I think the key word, for the purposes of coming up with our answer, is "recognize", defined by Webster's as: "something that the church generally does not do until long, long after the fact, long after most everyone else has come to accept a thing as common sense". I am being facetious. And perhaps showing too much of my own feelings toward most organized religion.

    But in all seriousness, I would have to say that God recognized your union, despite the fact that your church did not. I also suspect that He recognized, before the church accepted it, that the earth revolves around the sun.


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