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I am an Atheist and I can say it here without issue but to many people in my life I'm still Catholic.
Sometimes I fall right back into my Catholic programming.
The very fact that I am here has made me see that I can't get over my broken relationship with religion.
I feel like one of those exes who keeps checking out her ex-boyfriend's Facebook page to see what he is up to even though she tells the world she is better off without him...
Why can't I leave this forum?
For the girl tht keeps looking at her exboyfriends facebook; I'd say that she feels that there was something GOOD about the fella, and feels that maybe there is something about the guy that she didn't see the first time.
If she keeps looking back; she just might still be hoping or reconcilliation.
How often do we leave a situation feeling that we missed out on something or left something behind?
EDIT I have Gobs and gobs of things procrastinated about to start getting finished. Gotta go.
Religious indoctrination is a powerful weapon. What has happened is that you've not only broken the Catholic programming, but you've most likely created a riff in your relationship with your family and friends who do not treat your broken relationship with the Catholic church kindly.
The fact that you are seeing this as a problem is quite natural.
I think you have a good point there.
I feel a certain amount of alienation.
There is a movie I once saw where people dream about an orb and its so fantastic that one of the lead characters wants to change her life so she can dream about the orb. She does eventually dream about it.
I was Catholic only in name.
I have never seen the orb and I wish I could.
I tried to but I just don't have the blind faith the others do.
I truly wish I could believe but I just can't
To be honest, it makes me miserable that I can't believe in God because so many people in my life believe.
I feel so alone.
Its weird that I am being so serious when I usually never take anything too seriously.
Maybe I just need a good old slap in the face.
You're not alone.
And, if you feel miserable about not believing, think about whether or not your family considers Catholicism more important than you. If they do, then you can see the damage it has done in turning them against you and it isn't anything you would want to pass on to your children if you really care for them.
If not, then they will continue to embrace you and support you.
Either way, you have made a good choice.
Believe more in reality than the programmed group-think of fearful people. It is them wasting their lives, not you.
Maybe you just need to find you ,the real you.
Maybe its too soon to look back, specially if the previous relationship confused or hurt you.
Good luck in your journey You'll be fine ,so long as you keep searching and find at least one positive thing in your day thats meaningful to you!
Just remember the author of confusion is the evil one.
God will never confuse or condemn you!
He loves ya 'unconditionally'
Now you speak for God also!
You truly are an amazing person!
The depth of knowledge that comes forth....
maybe you hoped it could have been better, and hang out on here to remind yourself why you left?
So many good points and so many of them true.
I guess I needed to hear it from others.
Bunu, You asked a good question. God is calling you back to him by his spirit. It's up to you reach out to God again and reconnect. God still loves you. You are a honest person expressing what you feel inside. Could it be that you are miserable because you are trying to convince yourself that you are better off without God? That's a question to think about and not for anyone to answer for you.
Maybe you just need to have a bit of a laugh about it:
Based on what went on before me I was supposed to be Catholic. I shall be forever grateful that I missed out on that burden. But honestly, I'm not sure any of it would have stuck anyway... and I'd end up just as grateful for that. Have faith in yourself.
Yes, there is no greater burden that Catholic guilt, especially when you come from several generations of Catholics.
Then you just let them all get on with it! You're free to enjoy this wonderful existence without all that carry-on. I bet there are plenty of cults you wouldn't dream of joining just so others can say 'you now belong with us'. View Catholocism in the same light in order to resist falling back into it. As you say, its just programming...
sounds like you trying to find your own opinion of religion but you cant rap your head around what you read and hear so you fall back into your old ways because it was installed in you at a young age. You need to become openminded and read open all religions then make your mind up it may take awhile but its well worth it!
I was a Catholic once, too.
The way I see it is that you have a spirit that is being drawn to God. You have this confused with religion, and are seeking truth for yourself. Not content, nor satisfied with the empty offerings of religion.
I have recently (last week) come to know a young, single mother who expressed exactly the frustrations you just did, only with the following outcome.
She found salvation through Jesus Christ. Only she can testify as to what happened in her spirit, no-one else. She has literally come to life. A new person has emerged. It's awesome!
Sounds like she merely traded one delusion for another, and convinced herself that it was true...but I guess it works for her.
Of course she did!
Everything people do that even remotely resembles faith is delusional to the likes of you.
How do you know that YOU'RE not delusional in your state of mind?
Oh, yes, logic and reason!
I suppose you are a psychic psychologist, seeing as you diagnose people so quickly, at quite some distance AND with so little information!
If you don't believe in logic and reason, then why are you trying to "REASON" with me?
Not at all. Do you not agree that a person who believes that there is an IMAGINARY entity that they can communicate with is UNBALANCED? If not, then, why? And what is the purpose of education, if it is to be discarded for willful ignorance?
You sure make a lot of assumptions!!!
I never denied logic and reason! NOT ONCE!
Second point, Just because YOU haven't experienced God, personally, does NOT negate others having done so.
aka-dj, I love the last sentence in your response. Good point.
I also haven't experienced a whole host of mental disorders or religious indoctrination, either.
Good for you. I'm glad! Seriously, I am.
However, I am not indoctrinated. I chose to believe.
God has confirmed my faith for more that 30 years.
I have questioned plenty, and He still gives me better answers to my questions than anyone else, or any thing else.
Beelzedad, I am not indoctrinated either. I chose to believe in God. No one never forced me. How can you jump to a false assumption that every christian was indocrinated?
aka-dj, What a great testimony. Yes that is awesome. I remember when I first recieved the beautiful spiritual transformation of God's spirit in my life.
everyone promises that their version is better than everyone elses
I feel badly, I have been there and I know it is awkward with the family. My family was quite taken aback when I told them I did not believe in religion and would not have my son make his communion and confirmation, etc... I raised him with no religion at all and he is a sweet, friendly, funny 22 year old spiritualist. He is very much a scientist so even if I had raised him with Catholicism it probably wouldn't have stuck. My parents learned that I could keep the "tradition" of Christmas but I did not teach my children about Christ. (Christmas was originally a pagan ritual anyway.) I let them dye easter eggs at but they had no clue what else Easter meant, and my youngest, now 12, also celebrates the tradition of Chanukah and Passover, as my second husband is Jewish. But he has never gone to synagogue and does will not be making his Barmitvah. Traditions are fine and they don't have to be attached to religion. I explained to my family that I believe in God, not religion. You say you are atheist, that may make it a bit more tricky for them, but in time they should learn to deal with the fact that you are your own person with an independent mind. And looking back on what is familiar and what we were comfortable with, I assure you is as natural as breathing. But I know that over time, it does go away. And being comfortable with who you truly are becomes more familiar. Good luck to you my friend...
The indoctrinated will not admit to being indoctrinated unless they begin to think for themselves. Those who have understood this have acknowledged their indoctrination and have broken this cycle so that their children will learn to think for themselves rather than embrace their parents beliefs.
And, although they claim to have chosen their gods, they never made any choices in that matter at all, it was a choice made for them, which they embraced.
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