Ones worth

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   Captain Redbeardposted 6 years ago

   Being a stay at home dad has it's drawbacks. People snicker and have sarcastic remarks. Men tend to judge the worth of another man by his profession more often then not. Since I gave up the paycheck and my wife took up the mantel of "bread winner" a persons worth is something that I have thought about a great deal.
   
   I could careless about what others think, I see in my childrens gradecards and marks of praise they get from teachers and grandparents and such that the work I do at here in the home has value. My wife's security in that she will have a great meal waiting on her and a footrub when she comes home also tells of my value. I am indispensable in my home and to my family.
   
   These things however do not prove my worth in my opinion. My worth is ultimately found in Christs love and sacrifice, no matter what I accomplish in life. The money in my bank account can be stolen. My children can die and I would no longer be a father, my wife can leave me and I would no longer be a husband. All these things can change yet Christs sacrifice in laying his life down for me before I gave him any attention is what tells me what I am worth. I am worth everything that the Creator has to give.
   
   I know however that not everyone believes this same way so it makes me wonder, how do YOU judge a man/womans worth?

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      paradigmsearchposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Screw your worth. I like you.

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         paarsurreyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         

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      DoubleScorpionposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      My hat's off to ya. Not very many men can deal with the stay at home dad job. Keep up the good work. And I am with you, who cares what anyone else thinks. I've seen what the stay at home Dad job requires, and I am not sure it is something I want handle.

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         paarsurreyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         You have never tried it; may be you are very good at it;have a heart and try it.

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      paarsurreyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      How do you know that Christ vlaue you?
      He does not even know that you love him?

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      A Troubled Manposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Seems to me the "value and worth" you hold are in the irrational beliefs of a religion over and above your own family.
      
      Horrible philosophy. Get a job. Meals and footrubs can be bought.

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      1. 59

         Captain Redbeardposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Again, youre name says it all.

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            A Troubled Manposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Troubled may be the state your family is in when they find out they take a back seat to Jesus.
            
            Or, have they been brainwashed to accept their worth?

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   5. 61

      Dave Mathewsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Almighty God and Jesus measure my worth. I am not worthy to do so, nor am I worthy to measure the worth of anyone else or to judge them and their worthiness.

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   6. 75

      Disappearingheadposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      What an excellent post!
      
      Me personally, I tend to get distracted from God by the circumstances around me. I work an eleven hour day (including the commute), I'm tired when I get in and have little patience left with the kids, and my wife is pretty much worn out by being a full time Mum with health issues. The two of us are continually 'measuring' our worth and thinking that there must be more to life than this.

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      1. 59

         Captain Redbeardposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I became a stay at home father after a bout with a stroke some years ago. I have a blood disorder that has also caused two heart attacks. I know all about being worn out at the end of the day. Before I was a stay at home dad I was a landscaper. I know all about being worn out after a day of work.
         
         I have found that being home, I have been better able to lead the family because it gave me a different perspective on where we all are in our lives. Though my wife and I are married and are one, we still lead two different lives much like you are describing. It's easy to get wrapped up in the stresses that we have on ourselves during the day and forget that the other person has their own troubles. I have found that a good practice in my marriage is to make sure the kids leave their mom alone for the first twenty minutes when she comes in the door so she has time to change her clothes and make a cup of tea or whatever so she has some breathe time to transition from a working person into mom mode. She usually breaks that twenty minutes and only wants enough time to get changed before she is sitting with them and engaging in conversation.
         
         The pastor that married my wife and I said something to me that has resinated within me that I still remind myself of almost daily. He said, "If you spend your lives trying to out do the other instead of judging each other by what you do, your marriage will thrive." I don't know if you meant you and your wife have this kind of problem or not but I know that regularly dating our spouses is more important after marriage then before. As our marriage grows so do we and it is improtant to continue to "date"  them to keep up on who they are becoming and giving them the outlet to unwind sometimes. Easier said then done, I know believe me with 5 kids it's hard to get a date night but it's still worth striving for.
         
         As far as the distractions from God goes, it will always happen. I tend to keep my radio station tuned to 91.5, it's a talk radio but usually has discussions of the bible and sermons given by preachers.
         I started a practice with my family because like you I felt the same way. I was always doing working or doing something for everyone else and rarley had time for me and when I did have time for me it surley wasn't spent in prayer or reading my bible or devotions. So one night during the hussle of getting everyone to bed and fighting with my 3 year old to stay in bed, I snapped. I yelled for everyone in the house to get into the living room, once they were all there, wife too, I told them I was tired of the routine of life that we were living and that we were going to change. It was going to be slow and hard but we were going to do it together. That night we began the tradition of praying before bed together. Everynight before the kids go upstairs my wife and I sit in the living room with the kids and prayer aloud. I begin then my wife and from oldest to youngest we pray and ultimitly talk and discuss issues with school, work and life. It's truley brought us closer together and I have even tried to do this same thing in the morning with family but that's a little harder. My point is sometimes we have to get aggresive. There is that verse, "The violent take it by force..." I say sometimes we have to get violent with our lives and faith and take it by force. I don't know if I have been rambling here or if my words have even had any impact but I pray that your head doesn't disappear so much that you loose yourself in the hussle of living. Be blessed!

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            Disappearingheadposted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks Captain.

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2. 59

   Captain Redbeardposted 6 years ago

   Well thank you so much,
   
   The question though I guess is out of curiousity of how we see each other. My father in law for instance seems to only think that a man has any worth if he has a job that is measured with a paycheck. Thus is a constant motivator in my quest to sum the worth of a man....or woman.
   
   How many roads must a man walk down?

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      DoubleScorpionposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I think it holds as much value as any job. It is a 24/7/365 job that gets little thanks, but it seems that the rewards are a much bigger pay off. Nothing beats having your kids growing up to be successful and knowing that it was a direct result of your hard work. A paycheck is nice and all, but somethings in life, a value just can't be placed on it.
      
      My opinion of what makes a man...A man is one who takes care of his family. And it doesn't matter in what form that is.

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      paradigmsearchposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      How many roads must a man walk down,
      before you call him a man?
      How many seas must a white dove fly,
      before she sleeps in the sand?
      And how many times must a cannon ball fly,
      before they're forever banned?
      
      The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,
      the answer is blowing in the wind.
      
      How many years can a mountain exist,
      before it is washed to the sea?
      How many years can some people exist,
      before they're allowed to be free?
      And how many times can a man turn his head,
      and pretend that he just doesn't see?
      
      The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,
      the answer is blowing in the wind.
      
      How many times must a man look up,
      before he sees the sky?
      And how many ears must one man have,
      before he can hear people cry ?
      And how many deaths will it take till we know,
      that too many people have died?
      
      The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,
      the answer is blowing in the wind.
      
      The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,
      the answer is blowing in the wind.
      
      [Title: Bob Dylan - Blowing In The Wind lyrics]

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3. 75

   Mikel G Robertsposted 6 years ago

   How do YOU judge a man/womans worth?
   
   By thier deeds, through thier actions. Through the attributes I personally hold in high esteem: Honesty, Loyalty, Courage, Intelligence, the willingness to fight to protect those they love, Being a stand up person that everyone knows will do the right thing time and again. Being that person that will do the right thing even when it is not in thier best interest. Being that person that stands by what they believe (unless what they believe is proven false) and those they believe in, especially when those values and/or people are not popular. Being the kind of person that will admit they were wrong and will learn and evolve when a new truth is shown to them. Being the kind of person that accepts diversity will always exist, and accepts the fact they are NOT here to control everyone else.
   
   This is how I judge my own, and others worth.

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4. 65

   Lisa HWposted 6 years ago

   I don't judge people by "worth" at all.  It's not one of the things I think of when "judging" someone.

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