how are personalities formed ?

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  1. Eng.M profile image74
    Eng.Mposted 10 years ago

    evil: something done with bad intentions lacking love to harm people
    good: something comes from nice intention to help someone

    (Note: *I wrote this as a thread for a wider audience ,which I learnt from someone in the forum.
              *your feedback is appreciated )

    Childern, months to 2 years old for example , have a unique way of communication. My niece is 1 year old and I enjoy spending a lot of time with her. I feel that they understanad what's going around of them but they react according to their knowledge of things affected by experience and innocent feelings (these two are related)

    my point highlights our capability of acquiring our ideas, emotions and attitudes during our growing up.

    are there two or more different inspirattion or suggestions from our environement as reactions control our own personalities ?
    is it that we choose between several method of reactions to response to our life ?
    in a religious way, do the angel and devil which tell how to react at certain intances exist ?
    or it is just that different reactions happen to our minds abruptly?
    or may be we have the choice ?

    just questions in my mind.

    please choose between 1(agree),2(don't know) & 3(disagree)

    a-I couldn't understand this?
    b-this is boring?
    c-the English  is reasonable(not so bad)?


    1. profile image0
      sandra rinckposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      People send out vibes, chemicals, real chemical transmitters that prompt our intuition (older) or our instincts (children) or both when we grow up. 
      A child reacts accourding to their instincts.  Instinct tells the baby she is hungry, her reaction is to cry because she doesn't know how to communicate that well yet.
      Same is said when a mother and father fight in front of their child, they send out chemicals that the baby picks up on and acts according to the "feeling" the vibe the parent or parents sent out.  So then baby becomes fussy, she cries.

      Likewise when a parent is happy, the parent sent out a signal, a chemical from the brain that the baby instinctivly also picked up, and the baby reacts by babbling or giggling or smiling. 

      I think the baby does react to feelings.  She feels like she has to breath, instincts instructed her to, she feels like she is hungry, insticts instruct her to want to eat etc..

      They also react to load noises.  Depending on how the parents react to this, the baby will probably react the same way.  If a parent is startled when she hears a loud noise, then when the baby hears a loud noise later, the baby will become startled. 

      So when reading parenting books, they suggest that you do the vaccuming and stuff with your child, because the child will become acclimated to loud noises and it realizes it is not a threat.

      If we are talking about Nature v. Nurture.  Part of our nature is to come equiped with a personality.  Ie: my child is natrually stubborn and hot headed.  The mother needs to know her baby so that she can nurture the baby's traits. 
      Our enviornments also effect us even when we don't realize it.  A child likes to play outside, the enviorment says it is too cold to play outside, the child becomes irritated, the mother has to occupy the child and find other things, nurture the baby's adaption to their enviormnet. 
      Other things too of course, smog, not enough sunlight etc.. also have an effect on your attitude.  Not enough sun, not enough dopmine or seritonine to keep you mood up.  thus people who live in Seattle are more likely to be depressed then ones who live in Sunny SanDiego. 

      We do have the capability of using several different methods to handle our responses.  I think one of the problems with western society or just society altogether is that the womens role shifted. 

      If a women wants to work and make money and live that kind of life, that is fine and good for them if that is what they want.  At the same time there are less jobs to support the growing population for women who also want to be equal to men. 

      Long analysis short, the need for money has taken away from the strong family foundation, leaving your children to be raised in a day care or by strangers takes the role out of what it means to be a parent.

      I believe that the mothers job is to be with their children until they are old enough to go to school.  I believe this because it builds a bond between mother and child, it establishes the authority of the household.  It gives the children some understanding of what the Alpha Dog is.  They get to know and understand and "nurture" their children and give them a proper foundation to start with. 

      To me, it seems, that if you leave your children in daycare you cannot get mad at them for being disobedient to you.  Having play groups is one thing but leaving your duties up to another person is another. 

      Spiritually, the concept is sorta like this Nature = Devil vs. Nurture = Angel.  (for this instance only because nature is not the Devil etc..)  because it is natural to become disobedient to a lesser authority, but the Angel nurtures the childs Spirit to know the difference. 

      I really like the topic Eng.M.  What are your thoughts.

      1. Eng.M profile image74
        Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        hi Sandra

        sorry replying late as I hardly could get the access due to third  world democracy

        thanx , that's was really very informative

        does the child reach a point of his life where he can choose between different responses?
        or it's only about the stronger 'response causing' effect?
        is there any point of our ages where you could choose among some responses which are equal in effects?
        is there a starting point  where the first response was done?

        best regards

        1. profile image0
          sandra rinckposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          I guess that brings up the issue of self control.

          Some response such as "adernieline" or the "fight or flight" are (to me anyways) a combination of biology and mentality.  I guess I can only use an example to explain.

          A women, single, young, not so strong, has to walk home every night after work by herself in the dark. 

          If she has learned anything, then she already is prepairing herself mentally for what to do incase (heaven forbid) the worste happens.

          Now let's say that day comes.  She pulls out a can of mase, as she has had time to mentally prepare for this just in case.  Her body will still produce adreneiline, which is her auto response to fear. 

          Now, had she ignored or remained ignorant to the dangers, she could have been left with nothing to defend herself and ultimately she would have just done "something" this could turn out really bad for both parties involved.

          So to chose a response equal to the effects, is like the above.  The girl will respond.
          If we brought up spirituality or angels and demons.  Her concern is like what the prophet Mohommad said about defending yourself or kill or be killed. 

          So if there was a starting point where the first response was done; it would have been like this, let me list them in somewhat a chronological order, give or take.

          1. We assume she had grown up with a moral back bone, some education and a genuine respect for all life but understand the "properties" of life itself. 

          2. In her culture, we will chose Islam for this example, she was taught to defend herself, but not to kill with hate in her heart but also knows that if there is another, more peacful way to go about it, then she must do that, hence self defense and using the mininimal amount of force neccessary to resolve the situation.

          3.  She has a brain.  So we can skip ahead.  Logically this girl had put all the conditions together, heard the warnings and she decided to arm herself with mace.  A weapon that is disableing but not deadly and would give her the time to run away.

          4.  she had gone through the scenario in her head enough to have formulated a response that is within her control so when the situation arrived, she knew she would grab the mase, spray and run like hell.  lol. 

          Does this make sense?

          1. Eng.M profile image74
            Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            this must be taught to many people
            like those who kill innocents

            yes it does
            thanx Sandra

      2. Eng.M profile image74
        Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        that's what I say to my wife

        I don't mind that she works but I just want the child to grow up to the age of 5

        would you please talk to her?

        I guess no one could blame me if I did that role with for my child !

        Women build real men

        take care

        1. profile image0
          sandra rinckposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          "women build real men"  wink

          maybe you could tell her that the foundation of a real man starts at home in childhood. smile

          1. Eng.M profile image74
            Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            I did   wink

      3. Eng.M profile image74
        Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        then there are trnsmitting and receiving equipments in both humans thoe deal with signals outside our control or sensation

        best regards

        1. profile image0
          sandra rinckposted 10 years agoin reply to this

          I wouldn't say outside of our control, maybe just outside our real understanding.  smile

          1. Eng.M profile image74
            Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

            Ilike this

  2. knolyourself profile image59
    knolyourselfposted 10 years ago

    "I believe that the mothers job is to be with their children until they are old enough to go to school." How about you eng, why don't you do it.

    1. Mark Knowles profile image59
      Mark Knowlesposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      This is woman's work and therefore beneath a real man.

      1. profile image0
        sandra rinckposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        lol- man moms take their kids out to the back yard and wash their kids doo doo off with a hose.  smile

      2. Eng.M profile image74
        Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

        why not his master or teacher

    2. Eng.M profile image74
      Eng.Mposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I don't mind man
      but I had to say 'like nobody would blame me' , as an Arab community residence.
      anyway I can live with all blames or

      we can divide this role between us.

      2 years for me and 2 for her

      what would you do?


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