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Top Google Search With Humor: Is It Safe To Eat Raw Cookie Dough and Other Nonsense

Updated on April 22, 2013

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

I never get tired of writing this series. Why? Because when I get done with these Google searches I feel somewhat superior to those who actually do the searches. I know, it’s not very Christian of me to say that, but hey, I’m only human, and every once in awhile I like to feel like I’m at the top of the food chain rather than the bottom. The nimrods who do these searches certainly make me feel good and that can never be a bad thing, right?

Let’s not delay any longer. Let us bravely go forth into the minds of our fellow human beings and find out what they are thinking. WARNING! This might be a frightening trip because let’s face it, these people are walking among us. They are your next door neighbor, your hair stylist, and your garbage man. Yes, most likely your garbage man! They are the mechanic in Anchorage, the car salesman in Topeka, and the chef at Bob’s Eatery in St. Louis. They are not to be trusted and they are to be avoided at all cost in case you see them coming your way.

The author after eating too much raw cookie dough.
The author after eating too much raw cookie dough. | Source

IS IT SAFE TO EAT RAW COOKIE DOUGH?

Well, if it is not safe, then how did I survive this long? I’ve been eating raw cookie dough since I was old enough to beg my mother for it. She would finish making the cookie shapes and then I would lower my head into the bowl and lick the dough up like some starving dog in the desert. After that it was bath time but I didn’t care; I was satiated for another week, as happy as a vampire after meeting a solitary damsel on a dark, stormy night.

I need to give you a word of advice, however, because you could run into a few problems doing this. After you eat the cookie dough, do not, under any circumstances, stand near a heater. Doctors have proven that if too much heat is absorbed, the cookie dough will rise, and you could be pooping chocolate chip cookies for weeks. Would I lie to you about a thing like that?

IS IT SAFE TO HAVE A BABY AT 36 WEEKS?

Am I missing something here? I have to be honest with you; after I read this search question I did the math three times to make sure I wasn’t losing my mind. Work with me here…..nine months…four weeks per month….that comes out to 36 weeks, right? I mean, they haven’t changed the multiplication tables, have they?

So these idiots want to know if it is safe to have a baby at full term???? Hell no you idiots; induce labor at 24 weeks instead. I don’t even know what to write regarding this question; the question is funny enough without me writing anything. One cool thing, though, that you might not have thought about: if you eat raw cookie dough during pregnancy, then your child will be a sugar addict just like you when it is born. Then you and your child can sit around and eat Kit Kats and watch soaps together for the next eighteen years.

Try To Look Like The Locals in Tijuana

Standard wear for your visit to Mexico
Standard wear for your visit to Mexico | Source

IS IT SAFE TO TRAVEL TO MEXICO?

Yes, yes it is; just don’t stop and keep driving straight through to Belize. It’s not traveling to Mexico that is unsafe; it is stopping in Mexico that can get you in trouble. Duh!

Have you ever been to Tijuana? The only way that city is safe is if you fly over it! They don’t eat raw cookie dough in Tijuana; they eat raw tourists there! You don’t think they really want your lilly-white butt in their country, do you? Why would they want any tourists, who think that Jerry Springer is intelligent, visiting their country?

IS IT SAFE TO USE LIMEWIRE?

Okay, I admit it, I had no idea what this meant until I did some research. Evidently Limewire is the latest in file sharing sites. Honestly, I still don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing you won’t be harmed physically if you download Limewire. What, some people think if you download it, that their computer will blow up in their faces? You will hit a key and lose your finger to a mini-explosion? What do you mean is it safe?

You may not want to download Limewire while in Mexico however; an activity like that is liable to get you a one-way ticket to the Tijuana House of Horrors, where you will be force-fed raw cookie dough made from ground up tortilla shells. Then you will be kept awake for days and be forced to listen to “Besame Mucho” over and over and over again! Nope, I would stay away from Limewire while in Mexico!

The First Thing Your Baby Will See

A Modern Day Mother
A Modern Day Mother | Source

IS IT SAFE TO DYE YOUR HAIR DURING PREGNANCY?

No, it’s not! Oh, it may not cause you any harm, but it most definitely will be embarrassing for your child when they see pictures of mom with purple hair and a protruding belly. Might as well go all the way and paint your stomach purple too, you plum-wannabe!

Seriously, if you want your newborn child to be well-adjusted, try not to have photos taken while you are exercising your right to be a free-spirit! What an adult thinks is cool just might emotionally scar the child for a lifetime. You would be better off having your picture taken while eating raw cookie dough and pounding shots of tequila in a Mexican cantina

IS IT SAFE TO EAT SHRIMP?

We used to have a neighborhood boy who we called Shrimp! Kind of vertically challenged if you get the point. Anyway, no, it would not be safe to eat that shrimp. However, if you are talking about crustaceans, then go for it, but take the darn heads off first. How can you eat shrimp with those googly eyes looking at you? What are you, sick? Well, you will be sick if you eat shrimp in Mexico, so don’t even go there….unless you are pounding shots of tequila, in which case all bets are off…but you won’t remember any of it anyway so who cares, right?

IS IT SAFE TO BUY ONLINE?

If it isn’t safe to buy online then hundreds of millions of us are sicker than a Mexican hound right now!

Is it safe to buy online? What, do these people think some disease will attack you while visiting Amazon? Maybe some computer-generated brainwashing thing where you buy something from Amazon and then you have a craving for raw shrimp cookie dough for ten years? Or maybe you have an uncontrollable urge to visit Tijuana and look up that girl whose name was on the rest room wall at the mall? Trust me on this one: Maria, whoever she is, cannot possibly do all the things promised on the rest room wall. If she could she would have her own reality show on television.

A Poll For Y'all

Are any of these people relatives of yours?

See results

I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYMORE OF THIS SILLINESS

While I’m gone trying to save the world, feel free to do your own Google searches for fun and enjoyment. Just don’t consider writing your own funny article about the results of your search. This is my gig and I get a little territorial about it. In fact, I get downright nasty when someone steals an idea from me. Some people just put copyright notices on their articles. I take it a step further. If you should write one of these articles, I have Maria visit your home while your wife is there. Try explaining to your little bride why Maria is attempting position number thirty-eight and she needs your assistance.

Remember: raw cookie dough is good; raw shrimp is bad; and raw anything in Mexico is definitely not good for your health. There….that should just about cover it all!

Nope, one more thing: I have nothing against Mexico, so please don’t get all outraged over my harmless fun. I have fond memories of driving through Tijuana as quickly as possible!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

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    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Is it safe to use Limewire while your dying your hair while eating raw cookie dough? :) Great one, Bill! Glad you're bringing this back more often. And thank you for the shout out. :)

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 4 years ago from New York

      Trying to read while laughing can be hazardous to your health...I think you need to post that warning at the beginning of all of your Funny Google Search hubs!

      One tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor...after that you won't know where you are anyway!

      Love, love, love these hubs. Nothing better on a rainy, dreary day.

      Voted up, funny, and interesting.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, I hate it when everyone knows what something like Limewire is and I don't have a clue. LOL I should write these about me; probably be funnier. Thanks Sis and you are welcome!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mary, something is very wrong if it is rainy and dreary there and we are having temps in the 80's. Very wrong!

      Thank you my dear; I hope you didn't spit out your coffee while reading this. :)

    • lrc7815 profile image

      Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

      I was going to write one of these today but since my dog wouldn't understand Maria, I'll have to come up with another idea. Another good one.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda.....lol....great line! Give it a try; I'm sure you would be hilarious! Thank you my friend and have a great day!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 4 years ago from Western NC

      HAHA. Your google searches always make me laugh. I eat cookie dough with alarming regularity. Perhaps that's why I'm irregular. HAHAHA. Okay, just kidding. And flying through and over Mexico? Well, my butt isn't quite lily white and I speak the language, so I might actually HAVE TO STOP and order a margarita...in Guanajuato. :D Fun hub, BB. Thanks for the laughs on my very rainy morning...with a satellite connection that is on and off. LOL.

    • Lord De Cross profile image

      Joseph De Cross 4 years ago

      Great and fun: Actually have driven through Tijuana, and they know where you come from by your looks and they will try to get you hard earned dollar; not talking about our hard working mexican friends at all, but those gangs and the Tijuana mob. Excellent google search bloopers with Jerry Springer and all. A dark day on the East front today. Thanks for the chuckles Billy!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Believe it or not, I kind of get the 36 weeks pregnancy question, which kind of frightens me. Because even though it is safe in some instances to deliver a baby technically at 36 weeks, doctors will caution that at 36 weeks sometimes the baby will still have trouble breathing and need intervention, possibly the NICU. That said I get your point and loved your take on it though. Sorry if I sounded a bit technical, but after being pregnant twice in less than 2 years and my second indeed being high risk I know way more about pregnancy than I would like to!! Great job as always though and have voted, shared and tweeted as usual :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well Janine, that cleared up that mystery for all of us clueless men. Thank you for adding that...and I'm glad you enjoyed....and thank you for sharing....and thank you for being who you are.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Joseph, I would have to think long and hard before considering a trip to Tijuana, because of the reasons you mentioned. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the heads up on the misspelling. Stay dry while we bask in 80 degrees.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sunny and 80 degrees here lil' Sis; something is messed up when you have rain and we have sunshine in late September. Glad you enjoyed the hub my friend; have a great day!

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 4 years ago from Finland

      Is it safe to read Bill's hubs? I guess so. I would even recommend reading them to keep you healthy. Once again an enjoyable and funny hub. :)

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      As always a good laugh. I love raw cookie dough..Thank goodness it is okay. As for whipping through Mexico..You are not safe driving---necessarily. We got stopped twice--once by armed guards and once by the police to find a reason to haul us in. Fortunately we gave him the name of the Police chief....Mexico used to be safe when we had a home there. It is a pretty scary place now unless you live in a gated community. I could tell you some really unbelievable stories. However getting back to the other great searches..I got my laugh for the morning and will keep me all day.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hello Made, my dear Finnish friend! I hope you are doing well. I'm glad you enjoyed this silliness. Take care young lady and I'm sending you a special hug from Olympia.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carol, I love cookie dough too, so naturally this hub seemed like a good idea. As for Mexico, I think I'll vacation somewhere else the next time I head out. Thanks as always for the visit; glad you enjoyed it.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 4 years ago from Ohio

      I saw this just as I was about to go in to the kitchen to get something to eat. Thought I should give it a read in case cookie dough was one of the options waiting for me (you never know what my old grandpa will pick up at the store!). Though I prefer brownie batter myself.

      I admit, just last night I asked myself if it was safe to dye hair during pregnancy. A product of a coupon for free hair dye and being surrounded by babies (no I am not expecting). And then I answered myself by saying - dumping chemicals all over your head while you are growing a child in your body is probably a bad idea no matter what. See. Asked and answered without the need for google. Its called common sense people!

      Thanks for another great read. :)

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Bill, this is great! Yep, baby might freak when she sees mum with colored hair down the road. Thanks for the hilarious write as usual! Shared and tweeted.

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      MizBejabbers 4 years ago

      I always hated raw cookie dough, I've never been to Mexico, and I don't have a clue what Limewire is, so I guess I'm safe until your next hub, huh, Billybuc? Still laughing!

    • Mama Kim 8 profile image

      Sasha Kim 4 years ago

      lol Bill I was using limewire 5 years ago! hehe... Turns out there's a minefield once to get in.

      To be perfectly honest here I was one of those people that asked if it was safe to deliver at 36 weeks... because I wanted to induce at 37 weeks and my doc said no. She wouldn't "help" until I went the full 40.

      I really love this series ^_^ I think this one's even better than the last one! Voting a bunch and sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      MizBejabbers, I would say you are very safe indeed. LOL Great comment; thank you my friend.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michelle, can you imagine that being the first thing you see? Scare the poor kid for the rest of their life. LOL Thank you my dear; have a great day or evening....or both. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, I have to admit, I actually did some research about the hair dye thing, because I simply had no idea. Turns out there is no direct evidence that it does harm, but most medical experts say exactly what you said....why risk it?

      See, you are as wise as the leading medical experts.

      Thanks my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sasha, thank you! I actually like the earlier ones in this series; they go back about six months. For some reason I haven't been happy with the newest ones. Sigh! I always run them by Bev and if she says post then I post them. Glad you enjoyed and have a great day!

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 4 years ago from Northern California, USA

      Limewire sounds like something I might put in my Tequila. Fortunately, my kids are all thirty somethings and taught me the way of the world when it comes to such things. I had a great time reading this. Thanks so much, I look forward to your next search... and please do tell us about it. Oh, my aching stomach... I just can't stop laughing.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Marlene, welcome to my ridiculous sense of humor. :) Loved the line about tequila....I thought of that too, but wasn't sure other readers would get it. LOL Thank you my friend!

    • L.L. Woodard profile image

      L.L. Woodard 4 years ago from Oklahoma City

      You're take on these search questions is hilarious. If you want some more to smile about -- or shake your head about -- head on over to yahoo answers or a similar site. People ask things about their rectums and private parts you just won't believe. Hmmm, a rectum is a private part, isn't it?

      Fun hub: voted up and shared.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 4 years ago from Finland

      I'm doing fine, thanks. Today I was working for some hours, had a delicious lunch with my work colleagues and after that we went to climb a glacial erratic in the woods. Good food, fresh air and much laughter made my day. Enjoy your day Bill! :)

    • Laurinzo Scott profile image

      Live To Write 4 years ago from Phoenix, Az.

      Very , very funny billybuc you never cease to amaze me with your abilities as a writer, and this one is no exception. Yes I had to vote for the weird cousins... lol

      Laurinzo

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Laurinzo, much appreciated my friend. I'm glad I amused you; now, good luck with those cousins. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, I would call that a great day! I am glad for you! Goodbye my dear!

    • coffeegginmyrice profile image

      Marites Mabugat-Simbajon 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

      I like raw dough and raw batter pan cake mix! I make sure I have extra left in the bowl for me to lick. :) This is a funny, funny hub and I really admire your humorous ideas and style!! Thank you for giving me a good laugh here while sipping my hot hot tea! Glad I didn't burn my tongue, lol.

      This hilarious "Google Search" of yours makes silliness fun. And those who will likely follow your searching ideas will have to be careful with Agent Billybuc or they'll get tracked down all the way to Mexico!

    • CMerritt profile image

      Chris Merritt 4 years ago from Pendleton, Indiana

      billy though I don't always leave a comment, just know that YOU are one of the funniest and most entertaining hubbers I follow.....and there are several in that category.

      This one proves me point!....

      Keep'em coming!

      Chris

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Chris, thank you so much! I don't always comment either; time does not allow it all the time....but I follow you on a regular basis. Glad I entertained you!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Coffee, I am always on the job, looking for silliness wherever I go. Beware out there; you never know when I am watching. :) Thank you my friend; so glad you enjoyed this.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      L.L., I have you to thank for this one, so thank you, and yes, I do believe the rectum is a private part....at least it is for me. :)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      bill....Here comes Gertrude Google.....Qualifications? 4 pregnancies.....how many have you had?

      Officially, and in the medical profession, obstetrics, in particular: A FULL TERM pregnancy consists of 40 weeks, from last menstruation OR 38 weeks from CONCEPTION....when Sam Sperm, convinces Ella Egg to accept his LOVE. Oh GAWD! Nine calendar months OR 10 Lunar months.

      When baby actually decides to make an entrance is HIS/Her decision.......and as we know, often it is a safe time, sometimes, very concerning and others, considered an emergency delivery, requiring a specially trained team of medical professionals. Today, the "preemie" has a much greater chance of survival and eventual good health, than many years back.

      Why did I zero in on this one particular google search question? It is the only one I could answer accurately without googling it!!! ROFLMAO!!

      I realize how important this would be to YOU, when you and Bev have your MIRACLE baby!!!

      MORE ---ROFLMAO!!........Up+FUNNY

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Oh Paula, you have outdone yourself this time. I can't stop laughing about the Miracle Baby...bite your tongue young lady; that kind of stuff is not funny! Well, then why am I laughing so hard? LOL

      Thank you Nurse Ratchet; I stand corrected and I will forever be in your debt for that information.

      Sam Sperm? Ella Egg? We need to find you a hobby because you obviously have way too much spare time on your hands.

      You are killing me slowly with your love!

      Thanks buddy!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      What, cookie dough isn't one of the essential food groups? It contains grains (flour), dairy (butter), antioxidants (dark chocolate) and fruit if making thumbprint cookies! Wow, burst my bubble!

      I am so glad you added the section of not stealing your glory. I have noticed lately, that a few of my themes have been adopted by others and glory acclaimed to those who use others' ideas. Not cool. It's right up there with plagerism in my book.

      More power to you, my friend! Keep 'em comin' and keep on speakin'!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, thank you for that comment. I thought it was my imagination, but there are a lot of hubs showing up that look very much like ones I have seen recently, or ones I have written recently. I have very little patience with that practice and eventually I'll call them out on it.

      Thanks fellow full-time writer! Have a great day as you embark on this new journey.

      love to you,

      bill

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      People are amusing and obviously very entertaining!! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Yeah, what's distressing is I'm seeing the trend with my followers. I don't have a whole lot of followers yet, but don't take my ideas, dammit! Come up with your own, as have you and I! Not good. And I'm seeing yours and my themes popping up more and more. Up 'til now I've not said anything, but enough is enough. If a writer is having a dry spell, he/she needs to sit it out until inspiration hits. Don't steal the thunder! It grates the wrong way with those of us who are taking this calling to heart and trying to make a living.

      I'm going to email you. I have a "full time writer" question for you. Thank you for supporting my endeavor and quiding me in the process my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, I have to go run to the bank; I'll answer your questions as soon as I get back....and you are welcome...thank you for your wonderful support!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Linda, people are rarely boring, and thank God for that!

      Thank you!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 4 years ago from sunny Florida

      Billy, I can't top laughing. That whole being on top of the food chain thing is a good feeling so it is kind of nice to have it once in a while.

      Yes. And stealing someone's ideas. Not funny, not a good thing. I do not like it either. I have seen it happen and am amazed. I see it happen to others as well . You know that sounds like a whole hub all by itself.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 4 years ago

      This was a Fun, Educational and most Interesting read, Bill. Lots of Humor here. I've missed being involved, but now I'm back. Look forward to being Involved once again!

    • mpropp profile image

      Melissa Propp 4 years ago from Minnesota

      I have read several of your Google Search hubs and they all make me "LOL" for real--and sometimes snort, which gets me weird looks from my co-workers while sitting at my desk trying to look like I'm working on something very important...You have to do these more often! I really enjoy them.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mpropp, I used to do one of these a week, but then I ran out of questions, or my brain dried up, or something happened, because I switched to a new comedy series of vacation destinations for......

      Now I'm back with this one...I'll try to do one per week as long as I'm feeling creative in a comedy sort of way.

      Thank you my dew friend; I'm glad you enjoy them.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Barb, I'm ecstatic that you are back. Would you please settle down for awhile because you have been missed.

      Thank you my friend; so glad you enjoyed this.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      PS, I'm glad you got a good laugh out of this. As for the copying of ideas, I have lost respect for several writers because of it, and I'm sure there will be more of it. There are writers, like you, and then there are wannabees...and it's easy to tell the difference.

    • rcrumple profile image

      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      So let me get this straight... it's safe to flavor the cookie dough with Limewire as long as I'm not 36 weeks pregnant eating shrimp bought online from Mexico while I'm coloring my hair while reading this hub. Okay, I think I've got it! What a time saver you are, Bill. Let's see, gotta time this out right... first, I gotta get pregnant! I'll let you know what happens in 36 weeks! Great read, my friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rich, my favorite part of this series is the comments I get....and yours did not disappoint. Great line; good luck with that getting pregnant thing. LOL thanks buddy!

    • Docmo profile image

      Mohan Kumar 4 years ago from UK

      Ha ha... there's no end to human capability to ask silly questions and I suppose google forms a perfect platform to let rip such pearls. Bill, this is another winner - its always good for a laugh!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Doc! I'm glad I resurrected this series and I appreciate your kind words, as always!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 4 years ago from United States

      Billy, What great fun to read your answers to some of those crazy questions? I don't know why I should be surprised by the questions, but there seems to be no end to them. Thanks for a great laugh.

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 4 years ago from Clinton CT

      I'm feeling really guilty reading this, because I think some of those searches- were ME! gulp. LOL :)

    • thelyricwriter profile image

      Richard Ricky Hale 4 years ago from West Virginia

      Bill, thanks for answering everything I ever wondered about. LOL I tell you, hands on, your right about Mexico. That was funny, jus keep driving:) Your a clever man Bill, always a joy to stop by and read your articles. Great as always Bill.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

      LOL, billybuc - hilarious one here, as these are "actual" questions people have asked on google??? LOL I always need a good laugh at the end of the day, and I can count on you. Great fun here. Enjoy your evening. Well, let's see, you are three hours ahead or are you? Must google it! Ha You are probably asleep by now - kidding, but just in case, I will say, Have a lovely morning billy. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pamela, the weird questions seem to be multiplying. LOL Glad you enjoyed the insanity! Thank you my dear friend!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, I just knew it was you!!!! Ha! And you thought I wouldn't be able to figure it out.

      Thanks Julie!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ricky, I had to get the silliness out of the way; tomorrow I turn serious again.

      Thanks buddy!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Faith, you are three hours later than we are.....the one that always confuses me is Hawaii.....and I don't know why but it does. I'm glad you enjoyed my foolishness; it's fun writing these, and when I finish Bev and I sit and laugh at them.

      Peace to you always,

      bill

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 4 years ago from California Gold Country

      I enjoyed this immensely, but as for shopping in Amazon-- I dunno. I have heard there are pihranas.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rochelle.....that was very funny! It took me a second but I finally got it! LOL Thank you!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 4 years ago

      Hi Bill

      "Doctors have proven that if too much heat is absorbed, the cookie dough will rise, and you could be pooping chocolate chip cookies for weeks. Would I lie to you about a thing like that?" Stretch the truth, maybe. ;-)

      Your the man when it comes to finding funny google searches ROFL

      Voted up across the board and sharing

      Take care

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sue, thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed the cookie line; that should give you an indication of my warped sense of humor. Too much Monty Python over the years. :)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. I was listening to the comedy channel on the radio this weekend. There is a duo who have a routine based on typing one word on Google and the extensions that show up.

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      hahaha another l-o-l from sir Bill!! thanks, it really made me smile reading your comment in every question.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Martin, they stole my idea!!!!! How dare they? LOL

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      My pleasure Spy; thank you for the visit; you are appreciated!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Very funny. I refuse to give up eating the cookie dough. It hasn't killed me yet. :) Limewire is not a good idea and I think it has been outlawed. It was a site where people can download free songs, albums, and movies from other users. Many people got in big trouble using it for violation of intellectual property rights. I love this series and the look at how so many people lack common sense.

    • daisydayz profile image

      Chantele Cross-Jones 4 years ago from Cardiff

      Hehe, another good hub there Billy! I cant see the coralation between hair dying and pregnancy? Why would it be dangerous? Now eating shrimp and pregnancy thats a different matter. And 'no' using limewire is not safe! Not if you value your computer! It corrupts and downloads all sorts of dodgy softwear. Anyway, I am not one of these searchers as I know most of the answers, lol!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tammy, they will have to pry my cookie dough out of my cold, dead hands. LMAO.....glad you enjoyed...thanks buddy!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Daisy, you are actually correct....there is no medical evidence that shows that hair dye is bad for a child....so see, you are way ahead of these searchers. LOL That should make you feel good for the day! Thank you!

    • Mike Robbers profile image

      Mike Robbers 4 years ago from London

      "IS IT SAFE TO DYE YOUR HAIR DURING PREGNANCY?

      No, it’s not! Oh, it may not cause you any harm, but it most definitely will be embarrassing for your child when they see pictures of mom with purple hair and a protruding belly. "

      Thanks a lot billybuc! I'm still laughing !!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Mike, thank you! That particular vision would be enough for me to run and hide back in the womb!

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 4 years ago

      I would not venture into Tijuana for no money at all! Agree on that point! Laughing at the cookie doe and heat reference -- that would be so funny as a cartoon! You have some good ones here!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...thanks Dianna! I'm not sure where that idea came from ; just popped into my brain. Weird humor for sure.

    • Relationshipc profile image

      Kari 4 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      My brother-in-law is a complete jerk to his wife, and he is a moron...and yes, he is a garbage man....lol - so I personally loved your reference.

      Billy, people may be trying to copy your idea (it is a good idea after all), but they will definitely not be as funny and witty as you - so don't worry because your hubs will always rise to the top!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Awwww, thanks Relationship! I think it's about time your brother-in-law gets taken out with the garbage. :) As for copying material or ideas, I guess it's a form of flattery, right? I do appreciate your words; thanks again.

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      Deb Hirt 4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Billy, great entertainment. It sure made me smile. And no, keep away from my damn cookie dough.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Deb, I promise, if there is cookie dough missing, I'm innocent. :) Thanks!

    • Rosalinem profile image

      Rosalinem 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      billy, this is just funny and you got me doing the math on when to have the baby. Your hubs are just unforgettable, the google searches just the best for the start of the day.Keep them coming.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Bill, this one is an out and out fun read. Love this series.

      Voted up all the way.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosalinem, thank you.....I hate to admit this, but one of the comments told me that normal pregnancy was 40 weeks, so I guess 36 is worth asking about. LOL Now who is the dummy? Me!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you so much Rajan! I do enjoy writing these.

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Hi Bill,

      Apologies, meant to get to this earlier! Hilarious ride this series!! Love them . . . . Made me laugh as my brother and sister-in-law found out in Mexico they were expecting their first child!!! Wonder if they had searched Google ??? lol Great stuff again my friend voted and shared :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Suzie, I'm sorry, but I'm now laughing at your brother and sister-in-law. LOL Glad you enjoyed my nonsense. Enjoy your weekend you wild Irish lass!

    • carter06 profile image

      Mary 4 years ago from Cronulla NSW

      All the answers to questions I've longed to find an answer for here Bill, thank you! Lol... enjoyed this fun side of you...cheers

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Carter, my pleasure! I am here for anyone confused by the daily searches. :)

    • poojasd7 profile image

      poojasd7 4 years ago from India

      LOL!!!

      You know what, I had a bad day today. I couldn't find a single reason to smile. But now, I am grinning! You contribute to people's happiness. :-)

      "Doctors have proven that if too much heat is absorbed, the cookie dough will rise" This line reminded me of one of my childhood incidents when I had eaten coriander seeds and my sister, cousins had scared me by fibbing that those seeds would grow into coriander plants in my body. :-( :'( :-)

      The way you have connected the preceding google searches with the current one, like a chain, is very hilarious. What a sense of humor! HE HE HE.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pooja, I am so happy that I could provide some laughter for you today. My silly sense of humor does have a place in this world, and we all need to laugh. I appreciate you my young friend; have a wonderful evening in India.

    • Kasman profile image

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Okay Bill, I admit I laughed out loud at this one. The raw cookie dough one is funny because I know people who obsess over not eating it because they're afraid they will get salmonella and keel over. I agree with you about eating it at a young age and licking the bowl. What the heck ever happened to that? "Kids, here's the beaters, come get em!"

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kasman, I used to look forward to licking the bowl...I'd have my whole face in it, and frosting on my cheeks when I got done. I don't know what happened to it, but now I feel like baking some cookies. LOL Thank you!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 4 years ago from India

      Well Billy, I am sure millions of people are afraid to use their debit / credit card online because there has been so many frauds online and thus not many people consider it safe.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sweetie, I am sure you are correct in that assessment. Thank you for the visit my young friend.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Whew, summer is almost here... time to plan my vacation to Mexico while eating shrimp and raw cookie dough. I can't imagine what could go wrong.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      LOL...Jeannie, that's why I miss these....the comments I received, like this one, were always so damn funny. Thanks for the early morning laugh.

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      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Love this hub Bill, it goes well with tequila. Now I know why none of my hubs show up in google searches, I need to change the titles. Something like "How To Know What Time the Six O'Clock News Is On".

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Exactly, John. I call it "dumbing down" and you really need to get with the dumb program. LOL Thanks buddy!

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