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Top Google Search With Humor: What Happens If You Swallow Gum and Other Nonsense

Updated on November 25, 2012
The author, calmly contemplating life.
The author, calmly contemplating life. | Source
My thoughts on people who do silly Google searches.
My thoughts on people who do silly Google searches. | Source

Once again we take time out from our busy lives to discover what our fellow human beings are most interested in. This installment of “Funny Google Searches” is inspired by my friend Sha who offered the question “what happens if” and asked me to write this hub in response to that question. You can get to know her as bravewarrior at http://bravewarrior.hubpages.com/. Sha’s wish is my command and here it is.

For the un-initiated, I type a partial question into the search engines and then find out what others in Internet Land are searching for. Their responses are at times hilarious and at other times a bit scary, but they are never boring. Of course, I always feel compelled to add my own brand of humor.

Shall we begin?

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SWALLOW GUM?

It is a scientifically proven fact that if you swallow gum you will belch more often but the belch will smell like spearmint, which isn’t a bad trade-off at all if you ask me.

No it’s not a scientifically proven fact you ninnies! I made that up! Heck, we have all swallowed gum, usually in school when the teacher asks us if we are chewing gum. What happens? Absolutely nothing! How could someone not know this? What do you think is going to happen? Oh, wait, are you talking about bubble gum? That’s a bit different! If you swallow bubble gum then you might want to avoid farting. Just sayin’.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SWALLOW WEED?

I’m going to assume that people aren’t asking about dandelions when they type this search in!

Before we move on with an answer, I want it made very clear, in case any law enforcement officers are reading this, that I have never personally done this. What follows is purely a guess on my part! I hope we are all clear on that fact.

What happens if you swallow weed? You will experience some very mellow bowel movements for ten to twelve hours and will giggle often while you are having those movements.

Okay, that makes two responses having to do with the anal area. It is definitely time to move on.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOUR DOG EATS CHOCOLATE?

I can tell you without hesitation that your dog will not have mellow bowel movements nor will they be giggling if they eat chocolate. I’m sorry; I just couldn’t keep myself from writing that tasteless joke. Again, let’s move on and try to move past sophomoric humor.

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOUR APPENDIX BURSTS?

Well, if your appendix bursts you are going to wish you hadn’t eaten so much gum and weed! In fact, you are going to wish you were dead because it hurts like hell. In fact, if your appendix bursts you aren’t going to be sitting around typing into the search engines what happens if it bursts; you are going to be far too busy dialing 911. You are going to feel like a dog after it eats chocolate. Does that help? What is it with all these questions about eating foreign substances? Oh, wait, we have one more eating search. Oh never mind, I don’t want to do it! My article and my choice!

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU MISS JURY DUTY?

Finally, a question not pertaining to eating or bowels, unless of course you miss jury duty because your appendix burst from eating Juicy Fruit. You may not know this but your government does not have a sense of humor. In fact, there may not be a more glum group of people in the world than the U.S. Government, so I would strongly suggest you do not miss jury duty or the next time you wake up from a weed-eating coma you will find there is now a jury waiting for your trial.

What do you mean what happens? Right on the jury duty notice it says if you fail to appear you can be fined or worse. I swear it says that! Or worse! That leaves a whole bunch of possibilities, from jail time to the CIA making you disappear! DO NOT MESS WITH THE GOVERNMENT! Unless, of course, you are the head of a major corporation in which case you can do whatever the hell you want to do and the government won’t touch you. Just keep slipping them more campaign contributions and everything will be fine.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE GOVERNMENT DEFAULTS?

That’s an easy one! We just borrow more money from China so it won’t happen! Everyone knows China owns the U.S. right now and there is no way China wants the U.S. Government to default. Following that very logical way of thinking you can count on China buying our Twinkies and Ho Ho’s for a very long time to come. Hey, even the Chinese have a sweet tooth!

Okay, but what happens if your government really does default on its loans? To the average American, say 99% of us, absolutely nothing. It’s not like things could get any worse, right? We will just go on living our lives, scratching out a subsistence living and waiting for the government to actually serve the people instead of the special interest groups….like the Chinese government.

This is pretty basic stuff folks but I’m glad I could help you out.

I wonder if they grow weed in China? If not that might be a boost to our economy if we could start dealing to them. I would love to see a billion Chinese giggling uncontrollably.

WHAT HAPPENS IF THE SUN DOESN’T SHINE?

Well, I have lived in the Pacific Northwest for most of my life and we can go months without seeing the sun and nothing has happened yet. Oh sure, we have a tendency to grow mold on our webbed feet, but that’s not a very big deal. We also have a tendency to eat a lot of weed because of depression issues but that beats the heck out of heat stroke if you ask me!

If you decide to miss jury duty they might put you where the sun doesn’t shine; just something to think about.

I’VE GOT A LIFE SO THAT’S IT FOR NOW

Now that I think about it, if I’m sitting at a computer writing articles about other people doing Google searches, what kind of life do I really have? Sheez, now I’m depressed! I think I’ll do some research on the Chinese marijuana sub-culture, if there is one. If there is I think it’s time to pull my hydroponics gear out and get to growing. I could be living the high life very quickly if I can establish a market before anyone else and then I can get out of the 99% and start thumbing my nose at the government.

China: The Land of Opportunity!

2012 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

For more Funny Google Searches articles see the following:

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-Do-I-Know-If-He-Likes-Me-and-Other-Nonsense

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/How-Do-You-Make-A-Baby

http://billybuc.hubpages.com/hub/Funny-Google-Searches-Why-Am-I-Single-and-Other-Nonsense

If interested in my new Kindle novel go to:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0081A2CWU

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008BMEL4U

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    • Vidya Mallar profile image

      Vidya Mallar 5 years ago from India

      Funny and interesting dear Bill, Hats of to you by the way you choose topics for each hubs...

      I have learnt a lot from you and still wish to learn more as you are a very genius person and my loved friend.

      Am proud to be here commenting on your hubs.

      God bless you always.

    • profile image

      kelleyward 5 years ago

      I love your sense of humor Billybuc! Swallowing gum, weed, the government defaulting, funny I searched all three this morning while drinking my coffee lol! Thanks for sharing, voted up!!!!! Kelley

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      God bless you as well, Vidya, and thank you so much for your friendship and devotion.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelley, I have great fun writing this series. If we all get a laugh out of it then what a great bonus that is. Thank you my friend.

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 5 years ago from Finland

      Funny, but I do agree, what kind of life do you have writing about other people doing google searches? LOL! If you google "What is a question?", one of the answers you get is: "A question is what you just typed in. It's something that has to be answered." :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Made, now that was funny! Maybe I need to think about this series and how it reflects on me as a person. LOL Thank you as always for your kindness and generous spirit.

    • Sparklea profile image

      Sparklea 5 years ago from Upstate New York

      billybuc: Voted up, useful and funny! I loved how you kept weaving everything together, and the originality of your topics. I even notice on television, more and more people are passing gas on the comedies, and I ALWAYS laugh! Your description is go good that I can picture most of what you have written throughout!

      Great hub, AS ALWAYS, Thank you and God bless! :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Lea, you are kind...I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds "passing gas" funny. Thank you dear lady and may peace and happiness be your companions today.

    • mollymeadows profile image

      Mary Strain 5 years ago from The Shire

      Billybuc, I'm not touching these except to suggest that you could be having more fun yet. Answer some of these! Tell the weed eaters that eating weed will give them the power to understand Chinese. Give them a link to Baidu.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Molly, your sense of humor is right in line with mine; maybe that's why I like you so much. Thanks for the laugh and of course for taking the time to read and comment. Take care my friend!

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Sageleaf 5 years ago from Western NC

      Eating my lunch...I just inhaled my water thanks to you! :D

      Great to see you. Thanks for brightening my day!

    • Austinstar profile image

      Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      "very mellow bowl movements" ???

      I think you meant to say bowel, but it's funny just the same since weed eaters do deal with bowls too.

      What if a dog swallows chocolate is dependent on several things, but it can cause death in dogs, so don't give them chocolate.

      Great method for writing hubs you have come up with billybuc!

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 5 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      Oh funny! Great idea to make me smile! LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Cyndi, wipe up the mess and get back to work. Not much longer now my dear...and of course, thank you so much.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Austin! No matter how many times I proofread something I always seem to miss one item. Glad you enjoyed it and of course never give a dog chocolate. Give it all to me!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Angela, glad I could be of assistance! LOL thanks so much for stopping by.

    • Austinstar profile image

      Austinstar 5 years ago from Somewhere in the universe

      The only way you will get my chocolate is to pry it out of my cold dead hands, billybuc!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Austin, LOL...I wouldn't even try!

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Oh my! Austin cracks me up:) lol. Bill - you're so hilarious!

      What happens when ya swallow weed? I can tell ya - you fly right out of your chair. I never did it but a law enforcement officer did and then called the police to make sure he and his wife weren't really dead. Seriously! Lol he confiscated some weed and his wife made him a little pan of brownies! Ha! They ate them all! Omg! Lol lol dumb!

      Up and everything!

    • jonmcclusk profile image

      Jonathan McCloskey 5 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

      I may have to stop reading these articles, billybuc, my appendix almost burst from laughing so much! Haha.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Kelly, that is hilarious! Great story and I have no doubt it is true. I have heard similar happenings from my son.

      I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness and thank you so much for stopping by...as you always do. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sorry about that, Jon! I hope you are feeling better soon. LOL Thanks buddy!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Dear Billy - It is 1:26 pm Nashville, Tn time and I have been laughing for the last 15 minutes. Read this hub 3x and will read it again before bedtime tonight. No way am I crawling into bed with stress. I'm taking this hub to bed with me.

      Absolute genious! One of my favorites: "I wonder if they grow weed in China? If not that might be a boost to our economy if we could start dealing to them. I would love to see a billion Chinese giggling uncontrollably."

      How about watching 1 vocalcoach giggling uncontrollably?

      My vote is Up and straight across and I'm belching spearamint today. :-)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Audrey, one of my favorite things to do is read the comments after I write one of these. I'm laughing because you are laughing and your comment is priceless. Thank you so much and I'm glad I could do my part to relieve your stress. LOL

    • RedElf profile image

      RedElf 5 years ago from Canada

      Oh, my, I just can't top any of this! Thanks all for the great laughs!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      RedElf, I have to finally admit that I do not know if you are on one of the FAcebook writer's pages or not so I'm not sure if I know you on those venues. Be that as it may, thank you so much for dropping by. I'm glad you got a chuckle or two.

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Ok Bill.. this is so funny.. I LOVE IT!!! Where did you come up with all of this? LOl I really liked the part about the dogs eating chocolate and people eating weed.. LOl and maybe the Chinese might be eating weed.... you ARE SO FUNNY

      SHARING

      Debbie

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Debbie, I'm so glad you enjoyed this. This is the other side of my nature, the opposite of my caring, introspective side. I love turning it loose every now and then. Thank you dear friend.

    • Natashalh profile image

      Natasha 5 years ago from Hawaii

      Whenever I see one of these Google searches hubs pop up, I get ready for a laugh! I particularly liked 'what happens if the government defaults' and 'if the sun doesn't shine.' Your responses made me laugh aloud. Voted funny and awesome!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Natasha, if I had you laughing aloud then I've done my job and I'm pleased. I hope you are well and happy; thank you as always for stopping by.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      Ha! I knew the question would bring up some weirdos! And I don't mean those who comment! Or maybe I do! Look who's come out of the woodwork!

      Thanx for taking on my challenge, Bill. I think this is the funniest one yet!

      What would happen if we laced all our IRS payment checks with LSD? Would we have a govenment who offers us Alice In Wonderland and finally leaves us alone? Maybe go back to the barter system? Hey, (sez Mr.Prez) send me some more of that good s*it and some Juicy Fruit or an extra large pizza to go with it and I'll stop taking your hard earned money!

      Just a thought.....

      Love Ya, Bill! This is one of the best. I laughed from beginning to end!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      My pleasure Sha! Your wish is my command. By the way, your response is pretty damn funny too. :)

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 5 years ago from United States

      This was a very entertaining hub and you have a great sense of humor. I haven't ever sat around putting crazy phrases in Google to see what shows up, but now I know it is a great source of entertainment. Thanks. hehe

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 5 years ago from Central Florida

      I have an idea, Bill. Why don't you throw a challenge out to your hubbers for the next query! I can think of one, "do they still make...." (I don't know if LSD is still made, but that's from where my open-ended question comes!) :-)

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 5 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      I like the comparison between appendix bursting and dog eating chocolate! Hehe

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      You are a funny nut..I can't get past the Bubble gum swallow, just sayin' LOL

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      So, what happens if I can't take time off from my cushy government job to eat weed while participating at jury duty whilst my dog's appendix explodes from eating too much chocolate because the sun didn't shine on Bill's beautiful Olympia? :) I know, you hate me but I couldn't help myself. LOL! Can one be banned from making comments on another hubber's hub Mr. Hubber? :) I'm going to my corner now....really...I swear...I'm going...right after *ow!*

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Pamela, it is a constant source of entertainment for me and now I'm sharing with you. :) Thank you my dear!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Sha, your time in the Sixties is showing again. LOL

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christy, the fact that I think of this stuff should frighten me. :) Thank you as always; you are a true-blue fan.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Ruby, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. :) I really do have a strange sense of humor...thus the bubble gum reference. Thank you dear friend.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      TT, I'm going to source out these hubs to you. You can do as good a job as I can. I'll give you a percentage of the reads to count on your profile. What a great idea! I'm on it, Sis, I'm on it! Now get your butt out of the corner and go get an air conditioner.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      vote up funny! I really enjoyed this hub. I've swallowed gum before, but nothing happened, but then I knew you were joking. As far as missing jury duty, I believe there are certain exceptions that excuses one from not having to assist. A) If you call the night before and your number is not listed, B)If you are pregnant or raising a child. Jury duty is only for American citizens, I'm sure you know this.If you are an elder and suffer from some type of disability, then this is a legitimate excuse, but any other excuse is not an adequate reason to get off the hook. Many people have told me that dogs can't eat chocolate because it's bad for them, I guess that includes chocolate ice cream too. I would love to read more funny stuff from you. thanks for sharing!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hey Love, thank you for stopping by. It's nice to see you! We had a dog eat chocolate once and I can attest to the fact that they get quite sick from it. If you are interested there are quite a few more of this series that you can laugh over.

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      thanks billy, I would love to read more of your work.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Love!

    • profile image

      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Billy,

      I am high with laughter. LMAO

      Voted up up and away!

      Take care :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'm glad you got a laugh or two, Sue! Thank you for stopping by.

    • DanaTeresa profile image

      Dana Strang 5 years ago from Ohio

      Funny as always. Not so sure this was the remedy for my insomnia. Maybe hte laughter will tire me out and I can go back to bed !:)

      We were always told as kids that if you swallow gum it will stay in your stomach and build up in there and then be painful like that darn burst appendix.

      How on earth could people not know what happens when you swallow weed?! Don't they eat brownies?! Or isn't that a standard ingredient anymore? perhaps I should google it....

      Thanks for another fun read. :)

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      hilarious! Now I'm going to go waste my time doing this...

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Dana, it's always nice to hear from you! Yep, it's still a main ingredient in brownies. LOL Thank you my dear!

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, don't waste too much time; I'll do it for all of us. :) Thank you!

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I don't think anyone can do it as well as you, B3. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shoot TT, I was so looking forward to unleashing that wit of yours on the unsuspecting. I guess I'll have to carry on without you.

    • rahul0324 profile image

      Jessee R 5 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

      I am literally LMAO... over here Bill

      Some serious nut heads out there

    • molometer profile image

      molometer 5 years ago

      LMAO too. What in the world are people thinking? jez.

      Love it 'China land of opportunity' absolutely 'on the money' with that one Bill.

      Our politicians are trying to revive our manufacturing industry? too little to late.

      Funny Google searches lol

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rahul! I'm glad you enjoyed my silliness.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael, we hear the same song from our politicians. I think that might be a colossal waste of time at this point. Thank you, Sir, for stopping by.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      It may seem comical, but I would hope that the person seeking an answer to the appendix burst was not the actual sufferer. Get to the hospital! Enjoyable read on your series.

    • Tactfullyrude profile image

      Tactfullyrude 5 years ago from Idaho

      I JUST LOVE THIS!! Now of course I am going to spend the next hour googling random crap!! SO it is your fault if nothing gets done around here!! Laughed my butt off, you are truly my fav Billy!!!! Thanks for the giggles....

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Dianna! No, an appendix is no laughing matter but I would hope the person would know enough to head to the hospital immediately.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tactfully, I take full responsibility! It's not your fault...it's not your fault....thank you my friend and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • Tactfullyrude profile image

      Tactfullyrude 5 years ago from Idaho

      *Yawn* this is what I learned....NEVER, I repeat NEVER just type 'Bugs'....all it does is keep you up all night searching every crevice and mattress with a flashlight and jolting out of bed at the sign of an itch...Kevin is also exhausted now, due to the 50 times he had to jump out of bed because 'I swore I felt something brush my leg'....

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tactfully, make a note never to do that again. LOL...oh my! Go take a nap!

      Thanks again!

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Another wonderful, funny, entertaining, funny Hub.! Did I say funny? I have quit worrying about the world coming to an end (actually, I never worried, I was just a little curious...hmmm, I just realized that I should have googled it) or going to hell in a hand-basket. I am waiting for one of these hubs of yours to NOT be funny...then I will know the end is imminent. :) Theresa

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Theresa, I'll try to never let you down. It's hard to suppress the humor sometimes. I just have to let it free after a few of the serious hubs. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks as always for being so loyal.

    • TToombs08 profile image

      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      I could never do it justice, big bro! :) And the poor unsuspecting should be protected from my sense of humor. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      True words, TT; without warning to have your humor thrust on them...scary thought! :)

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Thanks for the warnings LOL. I will not be swallowing any Gum or weed. I almost got tossed in the clink for Jury Duty but managed to get that handled.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are spoiling me! Thanks once again my young friend! Glad you escaped jail. LOL

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Bill - You may already be doing this, and I know you do a lot of writing aside from HP...but this series of hubs, seems to me, would make a great little book. Any intentions of putting them together and either trying to find a publisher or do an ebook option.

      If you decide to go the ebook route, please touch base with Kathleen Cochran. Sh has experience and can give you some insight into the different ways to go about it(unless you already know!). Good Night. :)

      Theresa

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Theresa!

      I actually already have five books on Kindle right now; this will be the 6th as soon as I get it formatted. I appreciate the suggestion; it's nice to have you in my corner.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Very Cool! I should have known you were way out ahead of me. :)

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Hardly Theresa! Bev is running this bus! :)

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Well, good for her! And good for you! My compliments to Bev. :)

    • Tom Koecke profile image

      Tom Koecke 5 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

      I forget what happens when I swallowed weed, but I remember I miss it. I don't chew gum, so I don't swallow it. I might swallow weed gum, though. Or I might make brownies out of it and not give it to the dog. I might give it to the dog if it were a pekingese, but why blame it on the dog?

      It's all nonsense. I'm talking about my comment, not the hub. Not that the hub isn't nonsense.

      I think we should swallow some weed.

    • Connie Smith profile image

      Connie Smith 5 years ago from Tampa Bay, Florida

      @ Tom, are you sure you didn't swallow some weed before typing in your comment? ;)

      Billy, another great hub!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Bill, this is funny, nay funnier, than the last one I read. Had me laughing out loud. More than your Google searches, I love your Bill brand humor.

      BTW, the video doesn't work here. Embedding has been disabled.

      Thanks for this spirit uplifting hub.

      voted up and all the way across.

    • Tom Koecke profile image

      Tom Koecke 5 years ago from Tacoma, Washington

      I did, Connie, but it was years ago. I think it was years ago. I forget.

    • billybuc profile image
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      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Theresa! I will relay your well-wishes to Bev.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tom, you are too funny! I hope your stomach settles soon from that breakfast that you had. LOL Thanks buddy!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Connie! I'll stay in touch with Tom and let you know how he is after the weed makes it through his system.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thank you Rajan, and thanks for letting me know about the video. I'll have to replace it.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Tom, there are times in our past we all wish we could forget.

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      Another awesome new hub! I'd actually always heard gum got caught in your appendix if you swallowed it. I have a feeling the people searching about the gum are the same people searching about the appendix. Of course, that is only a theory. :-)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I hadn't heard that, Annie; I'll make sure I don't swallow my gum from now on, although I suspect that cow has already left the barn. :) Thank you!

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      Better not eat bubble gum! haha! I can't stop laughing, you are so funny! thanks again for the awesome and very serious answers to these very important questions!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Nell, important questions for sure! I feel it is my responsibility to do everyone a favor and tackle these questions so nobody has to go sleepless with worry.

      Thank you my friend!

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 5 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      I dunno... 50 years ago, if we had the internet then I might have searched 'What happens if i swallow gum' My nan told me it would wrap around my heart and kill me. I just took her word for it... but if I could have googled it... aw I would have lost all faith in my nan.

      This was an hilarious read, thank you for the laughs

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Rosemay, I had never heard that one. That sounds dire indeed! Thanks for that laugh and thanks for being so loyal.

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Haha, I am loving your google searches hubs, just started reading them hehe :) Too funny, great job Uncle :) Voted up and sharing!

    • MichaelOlsen profile image

      MichaelOlsen 5 years ago from Michigan

      I have been doing this since I read this hub, it's very entertaining. Thanks!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Nephew! I have great fun writing them!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Michael, my pleasure! It is pretty entertaining!

    • josh3418 profile image

      Joshua Zerbini 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

      You are very welcome uncle! :)

    • Shanique E profile image

      Shanique E 5 years ago

      I had fun reading this!lol

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Shanique, I'm glad. I had a blast writing it. :)

    • watergeek profile image

      watergeek 5 years ago

      Billy, you need to research China (lol). They don't bother with weed, they have opium. Of course, opium is not as social as weed, which may be why they go off into the ozone with all this tai chi and energy balancing stuff, not to mention the dark dens, instead of group giggles and munchies. Oh well, each to his own, I say.

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Watergeek, great points and had me laughing. Thanks for stopping by and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • christin53 profile image

      Ann-Christin 5 years ago from UK

      Very funny hub but I've got this picture stuck in mind of what happens when you swallow bubble gum now :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Christin, LOL...I'm so sorry for that visual. Thank you for visiting!

    • Jools99 profile image

      Jools99 4 years ago from North-East UK

      Bill, like a really funny stream of consciousness. I must browse more....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Julie, that is one of the best descriptions of my sense of humor I have ever read. That's exactly what it is....some of my favorite comedians from the 60's did humor like this.....thank you for that and for being so loyal. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the Olympics.

    • jainismus profile image

      Mahaveer Sanglikar 4 years ago from Pune, India

      I think this must be considered as 'Special Knowledge' instead of 'General Knowledge' ....

      Funny Hub, thank you for sharing Bill....

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jainismus, I agree with you. Special knowledge for very special people. :) Thank you for the share my friend.

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 4 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      You should do more of these!... they're hilariously funny.

      You may well jest about inept jurors, but here in the UK, in a recent court case, a Judge could not decide if the jurors were stupid or just confused.

      He summarily dismissed the whole lot of them. Apparently; the jurors showed a 'fundamental deficit in understanding' when they asked a number of questions such as, whether or not they were allowed to come to a verdict based on evidence not presented in court. :)

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Jo, when I hear things like that I wonder if there is any hope for the human race. LOL Thanks for your words; I don't know why I got away from this series but I did enjoy writing them.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 4 years ago from Northern California, USA

      It's always a joy to read your top Google searches. I don't know how you manage to string them all together into one hilarious joke, but you succeed quite well each time. Keep 'em coming!

    • billybuc profile image
      Author

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Thanks Marlene! I haven't done one of these in quite some time. Perhaps I need to put my humor hat on and try again.

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