What would you do to your child if they were a victim of cyber threats

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   Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

   As some of you may know, i'm still having writer's block over my next controversial hub on the "dangers of youtube"; in which depicts various accounts of online cyber bullying online from various users.  However, I won't say the names of the users for now, as I'll wait until i publish the hub.  however, it did inspire me to ask all of you all a hypothetical question. 
   
   1.  What would you do if your child went on the internet and made a threat to thousands of fans because they didn't like a particular band/musician they liked?  what would you do teach your child the error of their ways, or say to them for that matter.
   
   I apologize severely if this offends anyone, but it's a topic that i fear will only get worse before it gets better, as you'll find a lot of these kind of threats online these days.  what are your thoughts on this issue?

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      lrohnerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      The first thing I would do is get my child some professional help -- and quickly. I would also quickly re-establish boundaries about what is and is not acceptable behavior in my house.

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         Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         spoken like a true parent. not that i would know, as i've never had kids before, but I like your answer though.

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      Maddie Ruudposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Psychological studies show that people do not connect the things they do on the internet to real-life consequences.  If we don't start teaching our kids to remember that there are real people on the other end of the wifi connection, so to speak, it's going to become more and more of a problem.
      
      You see it here in the HubPages forums all the time: folks saying things they probably would never say to a stranger's face, but somehow feel comfortable typing out on a computer.  "Remember the human" is a good mantra.  I say it frequently when answering rude emails from spammers.

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         Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Very good point there Maddie.  To be honest, I too am one of those hubbers that can speak more freely online than i can in real life.  As most people tend to either talk over me, or they ignore everything I say in real life.  whereas online, I notice people actually do listen to me here, so it's easier to convey my thoughts on hubpages than i can anywhere else.  its probably why im so addicted to these forums.   Anyways, I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head about this topic.

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   brimancandyposted 14 years ago

   Gee. I just saw a video on youtube that is being praised as the boy who is in it has became a sort of hero for putting a bully in his place. This poor kid is just standing there and this other kid comes up and starts punching him, multiple times, while his friends record him hitting him over and over.
   
   Well, the kid finally loses it, and body slams him to the ground and walks away. I mean really powerful slam to the ground. The kid is hurt pretty bad, as you see him limping back to his friends. The kid who body slammed him is suddenly on the news, and the video has received millions of hits, and people telling the kid who did the body slam....good for you!!
   
   It's only a matter of time before these kids kill someone. You can see almost anything on youtube, and that is kind of scary. I will bet that this video will only lead to more violence, as kids try to outdo it.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      wow, are you serious?  i had no idea a video like that was around youtube.  you wouldn't happen to have the link to it, would you?  Or at least, the name?  I promise i'll link your profile to the hub, once it's published, if you can give me at least one of those things

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   brimancandyposted 14 years ago

   I am going to attempt to post a link to the video. I don't know if it will work. But, there is a lot to see.
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlBJyXLNN5Y
   
   The link does work. I just checked.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well Brian, I can assure you that I'm a man of my word. I'll definitely be sure to link your profile on my hub.  However, I'm not sure if I can use the video though sadly.  Sure, on the one hand, i can see how a video like this can be dangerous in encouraging others to repeat or outdo it but on the other hand, I actually do believe this kid had a right to defend himself.  Granted, I'm a pacifist by nature, and I don't believe in violence to resolve a problem.
      
      However, I do believe, in society, we sometimes have to use violence to defend ourselves, as life isn't always as easy as the movies it out to be.  However, I'll definitely consider it though.  Thanks again for informing me about the video, as it was a very interesting story; I'll give you that.

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         brimancandyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         If it helps, I did the same thing to a kid that I was being bullied by when I was in grade school. I body slammed him too, and he never bothered me again.
         Stuff like this happens all the time. All this mass media just makes it more available to everyone. It may be good for some people, and bad for others.
         
         We had a case here in Michigan, where teenagers girls almost beat a girl to death, so they could post it on Youtube. They were all expelled from their school, and the parents were ordered to pay the injured girls hospital bills. But, obviously, it has not stopped kids from doing this stuff, and the instant fame status is only going to make things worse.
         
         I forgot to add that the injured girls parents have also filed a lawsuit against Youtube for allowing the video of their daughters beating to be posted. But, Youtube is claiming that they are not liable, even though everybody knows if it was not for Youtube, there would have never been a fight to begin with. Don't know how that turned out.

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            Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Omg, are you serious? Wow, I can definitely see your point.  Hmm..maybe I can use that video after all then.  Don't get me wrong, I'm all for kids standing up for themselves if a bully pushes them too far.  However, the story about the teenage girls does present a horse of a entirely different color then. I'll definitely be sure to include it in my hub.  thanks brian. I really do appreciate your help with this.
            
            I think it's kind of a shame that things like that happen, as it's really not fair to the poor girl that got beat up.  I hope she didn't suffer any permanent injuries.

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   Stevennix2001posted 14 years ago

   bumps!

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   lynnechandlerposted 14 years ago

   I know a child that decided that it was ok to say he was in a gang and that he had killed someone before and would not hesitate to do it again. This boy, who is fourteen is now facing felony charges of terrorist threats and has been removed to an alternative school as a temporary form of punishment until the charges are dealt with.
   
   This particular boy is from a badly broken home, had unspeakable things done to him as a toddler, and now lives in an environment that he tried to escape from by reporting his father for abuse only to be bullied by said man to recant his story so that the father could get his government benefits.
   
   I think that this is a tragic situation and many more children lash out in this way or via online as a different persona in order to gain some semblance of normalcy in their lives. The child will face these charges and though a top honor student has now got a mark on his record that can and will potentially harm his future.
   
   As a parent, you have got to be in tune to everything that is going on with your children and not just up until they are 18 and can move on with their life. The one thing I think that has happened is that even though we give birth to these children we don't step up and continue to parent. So many want to be just their friend or whatever or don't even take the time to acknowledge their presence that these kids feel inadequate to handle situations of bullying etc.
   
   Good for you for want to write a hub on this, I can't wait to read it.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      thanks lynne.  that really means a lot coming from you, as i always held your opinions in the highest regards here.   as far as the other incidences go, I have seen some videos like that on youtube before. in fact, last night i saw some gang member issuing a threat online to other gangs. it's scary when you stop to think about it.  thanks again with your input on this, as it's most appreciated.

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   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I'd need to know more about the nature of the threat, whether or not I thought my kid was being serious, etc.; although, under certain circumstances I'd get him professional help (or even think about having him hospitalized if it were SOME kinds of threats).  There are the isolated, stupid, things kids do (and the stupid things a lot of adults do too) out of the anonymity of the Internet, so it would be important to recognize the difference).  I guess, too, if it were an isolated, stupid, thing from a kid who was clearly otherwise not a bully or violent, I'd make sure he knew that I knew that "kids do stupid things" (but some stupid things can get people in BIG trouble).
   
   If I didn't think what went on was something that required professional help, I'd tell him how he could end up getting in trouble with the law, making threats; and how I wasn't going to have that kind of stuff going on from a computer in my house; and that I didn't want police showing up at my door.  He'd have use of the computer, but not the Internet; or else he'd have use of the Internet for his homework (somewhere like the kitchen) only.
   
   If he were young enough, I'd make sure he was either at school, at home, or somewhere where I knew he wasn't going to be on a computer.  If he were older I'd want him having a part-time job when he wasn't in school.
   
   In other words, if he were a generally non-mentally ill kid who just did "some isolated, stupid, thing", not letting him have the PC at home ought to be a high enough price for him to pay.  If I thought he was showing signs of a personality disorder or mental illness, the mental-health professional would be what he needed; but not "enabling him" with allowing computer use at will would make sense too.  Taking away a computer in this day and age (at least while he's at home) is pretty drastic, so I think that would send a pretty serious message either way.
   
   And, of course, talk to him about the whole incident, the potential consequences, etc. etc.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Another great insightful answer.  Thanks lisa for sharing your thoughts with us.

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   RTalloniposted 14 years ago

   I keep seeing the responses to this pop up and had to check out the postings for the question is curious to me.  If my child were a victim I would not do anything to him or her.  Perhaps to the bully...just kidding.  Definitely would do something for my child though.  Perhaps make sure they are not in the same place with the same people again by filling up spare time with self-defense classes designed to teach more about character, physical strength, mental strength, wisdom for difficult situations, etc. 
   
   However, that's just one idea for a situation that could require any number of remedies because every situation is unique.  Interesting dialogue going here.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I agree. there does seem to be a lot of interesting responses to this post, as there were some online dangers associated with  youtube that i wasn't even aware of until i opened this thread. i'm glad i did now, as it's giving me so many ideas for the hub i'm working on.

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   RTalloniposted 14 years ago

   So, I went to the link from the post by brimcandy and watched the vid for the first time.  It wouldn't matter whether this was the first time that boy had been bullied or the 1,000th time.  He was backed into a corner and he had every right to defend himself after that first punch to the face, much less after so many punches.  There is no negotiating with a terrorist and that is what he was up against.
   
   As for YouTube's issues, there are pros and cons with everything in this world.  No exception with the videos posted there.  While YouTube should take responsibility to do the best job it can to improve life for everyone by refusing that which harms or degrades anyone, we live in an age in which freedom to do anything "we" want is protected to the extent that moral values are discarded in the name of that freedom.
   
   The fact is, today's society thirsts for outer-limits entertainment and innocent people suffer for that craving.  There will be positive changes when families in communities step up to bat on behalf of children to say,  "Enough is enough.  We are taking our children back from the culture.  We are not going to those movies, we are not listening to that music, we are not playing those video games, we are not going to abandon our children to the school systems, we are are not going to feed our children to the dogs.  As families in our community we are going in a better direction on a higher road, and we are taking our children with us."

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   Friendlywordposted 14 years ago

   I don't like bullies. wheather it's the internet or real life; you have to fight back. Parents! The best lesson you can teach your children is to let them watch ELY on The Good Wife. My hero. When he is confronted with a bully; the first thing he does is pull down his pants so they can kiss his ass.
   If you not willing to fight back, you're dead. There is no high minded solution to the problem of bullying. The only thing that will stop them is the fear of what you will do to them. Because bullies are just little cowardly b@$%hs and f@gg*ts in the end. Teach your kids to be strong at heart and how to throw a right cross. Works every time.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well said friendly.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      In offline life, it's often the conscience of even a strong-hearted, capable-at-hitting-back, person (or child) that makes that person the victim of the bully.  My two little sons both said the same thing to me at one time or another, about a bully:  "I could REALLY hurt him if I wanted to, but I he's a kid, and I don't want to seriously injure another kid."  Part of it (besides conscience) was their fear that they'd seriously harm another kid, live with guilt, but also face legal problems, themselves, if they did.  In my own grown-up life, I'm strong and capable and verbally pretty skilled; but I've been on the receiving end of verbal bullying for a similar reason:  If the person in question is someone I care about, I won't "verbally hit below the belt" because I don't want to be that hurtful to someone.
      
      Like my sons, I've been known to make the choice of putting up with bad treatment, rather than have to live with seriously hurting someone who ("after all") isn't as good at "taking the high road" as I am.   Neither my sons nor I have wanted to be the person who hurts someone else.  For them, none of the bullying was horribly long term.  As for me, I've learned that when faced with the verbal bullying situation, it's speaking up and standing up for oneself that often makes things a lot worse.  Very often, if a bully enjoys bullying you, he's going to find an excuse and a way to bully you, no matter what you do (unless, of course, you seriously, seriously, harm him - and no civilized person wants to find him/herself arrested for something like attempted murder. 

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    juncoltposted 14 years ago

    Kid, especially teenagers should be tutored first about cyber threats and other forms of abuse on the Internet. Me as a parent should always monitor the activities of my children and discuss with them what to in case of threats against them.

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    Diane Insideposted 14 years ago

    I don't know how young you are talking here, but I probably wouldn't be letting my child on the internet anyway until he/she was around twelve anyway and then only with supervision. As far as for older kids, they seem to find ways to get on anyway, but I'd definately be limiting or forbidding internet access at home if my kid did something like this.
    
    If the threats were really severe as most seem to be nowadays, I'd probably seek professional help. That is after their father got through with them. In any case, I just feel that internet access is too easy for kids of any age, and should be supervised at any age.

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    Diane Insideposted 14 years ago

    Oh I also wanted to say I was bullied a couple of times in school. Once in third grade a particularly snooty girl who was always belittling me, decided she was going to take my jump rope from me in PE class. I guess I just snapped because before I knew it, I took it back rather forcefully and smacked her across her face. My fingernail left a pretty good size scatch that actually scarred. I got a paddling for this particualar incident, but it was worth it. She never bothered me again.

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       Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       sorry to hear you had to go through that Diane. However, it's good that you stuck up for yourself.  Anyways, hows it going?  it's been a while since i last saw you.

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          Diane Insideposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Hey things are good how about you hope things a going well.

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             Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

             I'm doing great now that your back.   so hows your road trip going?  for a minute there, i thought i might've missed you again.

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                Diane Insideposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I thought I might have missed you too trying to get my nook to work. lol
                roadtrip is going good, surviving at least. lol
                How about you I cant get my yahoo messenger to work for some reason probably something I did.

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                   Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   sorry to hear that. if you want, you can use a free yahoo messenger that doesn't require to download anything, or just use the one that's in your yahoo mailbox.  however, the web address you can try is webmessenger.yahoo.com  it should take you to a site where you can still use messenger on that page.

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       Friendlywordposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I guess a slap in the face will do in some...rare situations.  But, that would be worse than an old fashion beat down if you're a guy.  Stick to the right cross, and ladies, learn the drop kick!

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