Relationships

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   Bravebird30posted 13 years ago

   Are kinky web-sites a sign of intent to cheat or infidelity?
   
   I caught my man looking at a porn pix but I'm not surprised or even mad.  I actually enjoy porn.  But, he tried to hide the pix when I came in the room. Weird!  So I when he was gone I checked his internet search history found he's signed up for dating sights for transexuals and shemales.  I wasn't prepared for that.  Of course trust is most important in a relationship, so I dare not tell him but WTF?????

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   1. 61

      richtwfposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      That's an interesting question Bravebird.
      
      It is one thing looking at porn and hiding it, that's usual and to be expected in most men for fear of offending and hurting their partner; but for a man to sign up at the sites that you mentioned, that would make me think that he is exploring something that he feels powerfully drawn to and obviously doesn't wish for you to know because I'm sure he feels that it might jeopardise his relationship.
      
      For a woman to lose a man to another woman is bad enough but for a woman to lose a man to another man that's probably worse.
      
      If I were in your shoes, I'd probably be brave and have a serious one to one talk and ask for a simple explanation.
      
      Trust is one thing but can you ignore what's happening? It's isn't easy to push it into the back of your mind and I'm sure it will eat at you like a cancer, if you try to ignore this.
      
      If you're not sure what to do then I might be inclined to seek professional advice before talking to your other half. Maybe speaking to a specialist in sexual psychology to get an understanding of what might be in your partner's mind would be helpful.
      
      Anyway I can't really say anymore, and I do hope this has been of some use to you.
      
      Be courageous Bravebird and do the right thing - but think well before you do.

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      1. 82

         Rafiniposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Good answer!

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         1. 88

            Benjimesterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Agreed

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      2. 61

         Bravebird30posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Great answer! Most definitely a convo to explore. Thanks

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         1. 61

            richtwfposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks Rafini and Benjimester for your support, and glad that I could help you in some way Bravebird.

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   2. 71

      mythbusterposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      And the moral of the story?
      
      She who trespasses finds an interesting man underneath the partner exterior...
      
      A happy ending in my books!
      
      

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2. 59

   calpol25posted 13 years ago

   I certainly agree richtwf

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   1. 79

      Sally's Troveposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ditto.

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