Why Is self Love Not taught in schools?

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   cherrycrime26posted 11 years ago

   Why Is self Love Not taught in schools?
   
   I think there should be a self love class taught in elementary school and high school, self love is very important.

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   SAKTHEEE2008posted 11 years ago

   Because Self love leads to selfishness and kills love on another

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      @Saktheee2008 You must be confused about self love, if you do not love your self therefore you can not love others, it helps you build meaningful relationships, what I'm seeing lately is a lot of people who are miserable and always looking for love

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      SAKTHEEE2008posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      self loving is not a way to love others  it is some western  illusion
      I  am not confused
      Please recollect the past cruel dictators who wanted the human race as their slaves loved themselves and forgot to love others
      Sarve Jana Suguno Bavanthu

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   Lisa HWposted 11 years ago

   I'm not a big fan of self love.  I like "self-like" better than "love".  Even with that, though, for all the people who don't like themselves very much, there a huge numbers who think a little (and sometimes too highly) of themselves, their own needs, and their own wants.
   
   I think what needs to be taught (by parents and schools) would more be something along the lines of "ego balance" - the fact that we're all equal to one another in terms of "value" as a person on this Earth; and the fact that most people who aren't damaged too badly are good people who care about others, try to do what's right and responsible, want to work hard, etc. etc.
   
   Too many people (as your question suggests) don't truly feel equal (absolutely equal "as people") to a lot of others and "as good as" others; but far too many, too, consider themselves at least just a little bit superior to others who are different from them.  I'm not talking about individual skills/abilities.  We all have different levels or types of skills.  I'm talking about "generally being a person".
   
   Children who get the right nurturing in the first few years generally like themselves well enough.   The world (including sometimes parents) can sometimes tend to make them like themselves less over time.  It's people who haven't learned to like themselves less (and sometimes "more less" for some than others) who sometimes go the other way and instead like themselves more they really ought to.  So what's important as far as being a human being goes (the right values) needs to be taught.  People also need to be taught that no matter how "wonderful" they are (and most people are reasonably wonderful in a lot of ways), the world is full of other perfectly wonderful (in any number of ways) people.  If the issue of too-much-ego were addressed then there'd be less aggressive, misguided, and over-blown ego in the world; which would, in turn, mean the world was less likely to make children/people like themselves less.
   
   So my thinking is that teaching "ego balance" in schools (and elsewhere) would result in a lot more people's naturally feeling better about themselves, yet without loving themselves more than anyone ought to.   

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Ego Balancing is cool, but lately I've noticed there is an epidemic of people not loving themselves and always looking for others to accept them, even if there abusive and not good to them, these people don't show love to others or there children.

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   junksellerposted 11 years ago

   I think there are too many people around who think that self-flogging should be taught in school, and one of the things they'd probably think one should flog themselves over is contemplating self-love.
   
   Me personally, I'm in favor of all love.

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   TIMETRAVELER2posted 11 years ago

   What makes you think self love is not taught in schools?  Just because it is not part of the curriculum it does not mean that individual teachers don't constantly try to instill love of self in their students.  A better question might be why aren't parents teaching their young to love themselves?

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I've given up on parents, there a lot of parents who don't love themselves, therefore they can not teach there children, my sister is a teacher and from the looks of her students, she thinks it should def be taught in schools.

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   cheaptrickposted 11 years ago

   I believe self love should be practiced at least once or twice a day/night...to relieve stress...

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly, thank you.

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      mattforteposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Lol. An answer referring to masturbation gets best answer.

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      Winterfateposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I second your Lol, mattforte. XD
      
      I get the slight feeling that wasn't what cherrycrime26 was talking about.

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   mattforteposted 11 years ago

   You seem to be confused with the jobs a parent has, and the jobs our educators have.

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      If a parent does not know how to love themselves, then how can they teach there children?

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   ESPeck1919posted 11 years ago

   I think it's probably a cultural thing, in part. We seem to be generally conditioned to give and receive negative feedback, which isn't the best way to foster much by way of self worth, or self love. Unfortunately, that tends to leach into the educational system, and I don't really think it's something that can really be isolated to an individual class. It seems to be something that needs to be learned and earned.
   
   Another part may be the fact that there's a lot of pressure to cram X amount of material into Y amount of hours, so Z amount of kids can pass the tests required by state and federal authorities. That doesn't leave much time to concentrate on self esteem, unless the individual teachers can find a way to work it into how they teach what they need to, which I'm sure quite a few strive to.

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      Ruby H Roseposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      True, it does depend to some extent what the cultural acceptance of self love is.  Maybe respect and self esteem are easier to teach and accept than love?  Great question.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   The school system is having a tough enough time teaching reading, writing, math, and science. It's a parent's job to provide a home environment that nurtures a child's self-esteem. There are some teachers, coaches, and counselors who go the "extra mile" However the primary role of instilling self-love  and confidence is as it should be the  job of the parents and not the state.

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      cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Once again, if a parent does not know self love, then where else can the child receive this type of learning?

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      Ruby H Roseposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      counselors, self help groups, communities, phycologists, doctors, social workers, human resources, organizations.  Food for thought, yes, children learn what they see, so....yeah, where do they go?

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    recappers delightposted 11 years ago

    Self love is not a quantifiable body of empirical knowledge and it's really a vague term which can mean ten different things to ten different people attempting to answer your question. Possibly the closest that a school can or should come to self-love courses might be classes in basic citizenship. Conversely, the school counselor may be on hand to give students advice on self-esteem issues.

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    krillcoposted 11 years ago

    Here is my weigh-in: the real issue, it seems to me, is that most people confuse validation and love. There is nothing wrong with validation, it is pleasant to get and in many ways it helps us to learn. For example, when a child finally catches the ball, they look at us, and we give them praise to encourage them to do it again. Or, if I make meal and my wife thanks me and tells me it was delicious, that is pleasant.
    
    But if I come to depend on validation from others as a proof of love, I am in serious trouble.. What if the other person is not in the mood to give validation, or is having a bad day, or is focused on another issue? Those than depend on other validation will react by thinking the other person no longer loves them or is giving them their due. By learning self validation, people learn to be self sufficient and not equate validation with love.
    
    So instead of teaching 'self love', I prefer to teach realistic self validation.

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       jellygatorposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I agree. I think we *do* teach self love by teaching every kid that they're amazing when they're simply average. "Oh, that's supposed to be a picture of a house?" shouldn't be "Oh, that's so wonderful!" This is why narcissism is so high nowadays.

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       Ruby H Roseposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I like those words, realistic self validation

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    MarieAlana1posted 11 years ago

    It depends on things. In my hub about extracurriculars, I went into detail about what extracurriculars are teaching students and how some people think that extracurriculars should be required because they teach so many things. One thing that you can add to this which is not specified, but could be attached to some of the other specifics is self Love. It is a lot like learning how to deal with failures. I invite you to check it out.

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    TCaroposted 11 years ago

    I think it is something most have to learn on their own over the course of their life.

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    pstraubie48posted 11 years ago

    Actually it is. I cannot speak for every teacher but those that I worked with over the years that I taught did everything they could to bring children to the point where they loved themselves.
    It was not a separate class but rather was infused into the whole day of living at school.

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    Jlbowdenposted 11 years ago

    It may be taught in a few schools, but very few that I am aware of. I agree with you that self love is also very important as part of the human character. It's a shame there is not more of it in the world. Because if there was, there most likely would be a lot less bullying in our schools today.

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       cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       @jlbowden I think your the only one who catches my drift, that was exactly what I was getting at, thank you :-)

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    kansasyarnposted 11 years ago

    As important as self love (self respect) is, I believe that teaching our children standard curriculum is a more important focus for our teachers.  I understand that you "have given up on parents."  As a mother of 5 children, however, I believe it was our job to present children to our schools who had a sense of self and had a basic understanding of how to show respect for others. 
    
    Has our family unit broken down in our current society.  Absolutely.  But, it is not the job of our educators to teach our children to love and respect themselves and others.  That is a job for the family.  To say that this should be taught in schools is a band-aid approach to a terminal bleed.   There is no easy answer to this problem I am afraid.

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    MasculistFeministposted 11 years ago

    My answer will not be pretty. Two reasons. They want people to grow up to conform to authority and believe everything they are told at face value. Teaching self love undermines that authority by removing the dependence on authority for consistent social approval. Secondly they must make sure everyone bases their self worth on how much they earn, the job they have and the assets they possess. They can't have people walking around feeling good about themselves without consuming. Our economy is based on keeping up with the Joneses and mindless consumption.
    
    They have to start molding the next generation early. Hence the environment in the public school system (of course this is merely on aspect of this, marketing to children is another example). I am not suggesting teachers are consciously trying to do this. It is the way the education system has been designed by planners and policy makers.  Call me cynical, but that is my brutally frank assessment of the education system and why society is such a mess. We have an entire population of sheeple, that can't think critically about anything and that are more concerned with getting the next IPhone than paying off their debts.

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       cherrycrime26posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Love this answer, there is a lot of truth here, your right about the sheep, and thanks :-)

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    Single Shotposted 11 years ago

    That is a good question. I used to ask myself this all the time. I simply came up with the idea that...they don't have time to teach such things, and have to stick to a certain curriculum all through the year..kind of like how all those who work at Boeing have to walk on certain colored tape lines like drones or robots. They also see it  as it is not their responsibility to teach the kids that are not theirs about self love and see it that only the parent(s) should teach the child about self love...
    
    I definitely agree that Self Love is important, especially after look back on how I grew up and was taught..and realizing..they never taught extremely important stuff in schools...ever..just basics..which changes on constant basis now a days just to keep up with technology, new laws...etc.

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    Ghost32posted 11 years ago

    In my day (you know, back before cave people were invented), such a thing was never considered.  It literally never crossed our minds.  The focus was on pretty earthy basics like reading, writing, math, learning how to write checks and keep your checkbook balanced, and--if you were wildly academic by nature--the voluntary stuff such as chemistry and other sciences.

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       mattforteposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Ghost, you forget - America is now a pansy country. Being touchy-feely and listening to Death Cab for Cutie is far more important than knowing how to read.

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       MasculistFeministposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       I like that focus, especially the part about keeping your checkbook balanced. Learning how to manage money should be mandatory in schools.

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    LongTimeMotherposted 11 years ago

    Over the years I have seen some teachers who are brilliant at encouraging children's self esteem, and others who shouldn't be trusted to influence the formative minds of youngsters. What sort of teacher fronts your child's class is a bit of a lottery really.
    It seems unrealistic to think that teachers are competent to achieve a positive outcome. After all, teachers are an active part of society. They've been influenced by the same factors that create problems in other people's homes. Many teachers are also parents, and fail to effectively address their own kid's issues.
    And suddenly these teachers who go to work with the same personality and skills base as they demonstrate in their homes are meant to be authorities on what, exactly?

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    IDONOposted 11 years ago

    The whole term "self love" is open to so many possible interpretations and misinterpretations, it would be virtually impossible to attempt to teach it without offending somebody. Of course, nowadays, that could be every time someone opens their mouth. We've become an extremely touchy, whiny society these days, so we have to be " politically correct" at all times, which is nothing more than a violation of your right of free speech. More so in the school system, which is a hot bed for this type of contriversy. Many would accuse the subject had sexual overtones, even though it don't. That's a misinterpretation I spoke of.  And how many students could decern between self love, arrogance and selfishness? I guess not many.
         It's a wonderful thought, but I think in the wrong setting.

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