Being the oldest of five, at 9yrs old I had to take over the raising of my siblings and run of the household. My childhood was gone and I was now in adulthood. We had lived with my grandmother all my life;my mother, two brothers and a sister, the youngest came along after my grandmother left. My grandmother got fed up with my mother having babies every time she turned around and not married to the men. And he was married anyway, so a marriage would not be happening. She found herself a man and got married and moved to Texas.
Leaving me to care for my siblings. My mother couldn't cook and she was to busy going out with the married man, and either working or quitting a job because they didn't do like she wanted. So to show them she quit.
I was a very stern older sister/surrogate mother with them. Yes, they feared me and hated me. But, when they grew up they thanked me, because when they'd look back at the friends in their childhood. Most had gone either gone to prison, was on drugs, had 1-5 babies by different girls and no job. My siblings one is a manager and owns a few properties, one is a over the road trucker owns his own house both of these are married for decades, my sister is a social worker in Chicago at a hospital no children and not married, yet. The baby boy is a radiology tech has three children he is divorced and has custody of the kids and is engaged.
The ones that did hang around with them, knew they too would be under my care just like my siblings were and also very successful and never been in prison or involved with drugs.
The money was in very short supply. When I was 14yrs old I looked a lot older I got a third shift job and went to school during the day. But it got to be to much and I made a choice of which was more important, make money to help feed my siblings or stay in school. The job won, I left high school, but I did return and achieved my GED and got it a month after my class graduated and before I had my first child.
I'm not sure I'd call it abusive, true I didn't have a childhood, but the way I was raised everyone helped and the oldest had the major part and important part of responsibilities. I made sure the kids didn't want for anything and didn't go hungry, did same with my own children. I didn't get a break between families, went from raising siblings to raising my own and still cared for my siblings. My dad, was 10 when he became head of house, raise 6 siblings and work fields.