Dating: Do you think online dating increases your success?

1. 61

   thaivalentineposted 12 years ago

   So many of us are busy everyday at the office that we literally do not have much time to pursue relationships.  Years ago people married the people they "ran into" in their neighborhood, office, etc., which can sometimes be a small world.  The internet changed all that though I believe, as a Opera fan in Des Moines can meet an Opera fan from Milan and fall madly in love. 
   
   I guess a good comparison is comparing a business with no web presence to one that does - do you agree that the internet has been good for falling in love?

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      It depends on who you ask, as it tends to vary from person to person.  One of the advantages of online dating is that it does allow you to get to know someone emotionally and intellectually without looks getting in the way, and you can easily have your online relationship work around your schedule.  However, the only downfall is that not everyone you meet online is always who they claim to be, so the person you meet online may be lying their heads off the entire time, and you'd be none the wiser until you met in real life.
      
      And even when both parties are honest with each other, there's still no guarantee that it'll work out once you meet, as some people aren't as charming in real life as they are online. 
      
      However, in real life, the advantage that you do have is that you get instant feedback about where your relationship with the person is going.  Plus, you have a better idea of who the person is versus going off what they tell you about themselves online. 
      
      Unfortunately, the draw back to that is that real life relationships can be time consuming, expensive (especially if your a guy. Sorry, I don't mean to sound sexist, but it's true), and you have to have experience in reading relationships as you get older.  I remember once that my brother told me, when he was taking a psychology class in college, he said that people are required to go through certain stages in their lives to develop into mentally healthy human beings.  However, if you miss any of those steps, then it does impact your future relationships later down the road.  Therefore, if you don't follow the stages of a normal social life when your a kid, then it's very hard trying to get to know someone in real life as an adult.  After all, dating doesn't get easy when you get older...it gets harder if anything else.  As relationships aren't as simple like telling a girl..."I like you"...then the girl replies.."I like you too."
      
      Yeah, that works when your a kid, but if you say that as an adult, then it comes off as clingy and desperate.  Meaning you have to be more subtle about it.  This can be a huge problem if you grew up without much interaction as a child like me; which is probably why I tend to favor online relationships.  lol.  Anyways, I hope that helps answer your question, as it really depends on the person.

      replyreport
      1. 61

         thaivalentineposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Great answer, thanks for your thoughts

         replyreport
2. 64

   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   I dont think there are any opera fans in Des Moines.
   
   If there are, they shouldnt mate

   replyreport
   1. 71

      R.S. Hutchinsonposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      LOL

      replyreport
3. 71

   R.S. Hutchinsonposted 12 years ago

   I have, unfortunately, not had great luck with online dating. Dating in general, is so very exhausting!

   replyreport
4. 0

   Emile Rposted 12 years ago

   I don't know anyone that has had any success with online dating, and most of the single women I work with have tried it.  But I would think it would be playing russian roulette. I agree with Stevennix that you can get to know them better without looks getting in the way; but that builds a friendship, not a romantic interest.  It doesn't matter how much you may enjoy another person's company, dating boils down to physical attraction. If you aren't attracted to someone, you aren't dating. You're hanging out as friends.

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Stevennix2001posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Your right about that to an extent, but friendship can often lead into a romantic relationship eventually.  Plus, the success of online relationships vary greatly on how well said chemistry translates to real life. If one or both partners aren't willing to meet in real life, then obviously the relationship won't work at all.  Or if the two parties meet, and they're not physically attracted to each other, then your right again on that. 
      
      However, some online relationships do work though, as my brother actually met his wife through a online dating service, and they just recently got married a few months ago.  Of course, they did date for a while in real life AFTER meeting online, but you get the idea.  Therefore, it is possible for an online relationship to work.

      replyreport
      1. 0

         Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I'm sure many do work out. If I was single, I'd try it. If nothing but for something different. I just think physical chemistry is more than 50% of the reason for the long term success of a relationship.

         replyreport
5. 64

   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   i had GREAT success with online date!

   replyreport
   1. 0

      Emile Rposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Of course you did. You're a Scorpio.

      replyreport
      1. 64

         Greek Oneposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         yeah.. we are kinda irresistible in any medium:)

         replyreport
6. 89

   CyclingFitnessposted 12 years ago

   I've had success in the short term- actually getting dates via online.
   
   However if you class success as meeting someone and settling down then i'm afraid i've so far been unlucky.
   
   Part of the brilliance of online dating is that it takes you out of your usual social of friends and dating which for someone that likes a challenge can be a good thing. However i've found like in work- a dating 'cv' can be spruced up to make someone seem more interesting to a person than might be anticipated.
   
   I've found peoples attitude towards sex is more liberal in those involved in online dating as well which puts me off someone as I like to take my time when it comes to being involved in the physical side.
   
   I have met some great people, and some not so great. I have always looked on internet dating as great if I gain a friend, even better if it goes further than that.

   replyreport
7. 0

   Carliismiles<3posted 12 years ago

   My fiance and i actually met on the internet 4 years ago.
   I believe that everyone is different. Some people can last during a long distant relationship.. others can't. Although my fiance and i only live 5 hours away it feels like it's the other side of the world. I've only seen him so many times, but those times have been so special to the both of us. I feel like an online relationship opens more of your heart instead of your eyes. You see a person on the inside, on their goods and bads. You see a person for their heart, not their figure.

   replyreport
8. 60

   4tuneposted 12 years ago

   Nope not on any date site, But if I were to do it again as I may need to only a real serious place like marriage minded people meet or similar, Not that it would promise anything but the chances of meeting someone that's looking for more in life I think would increase.
   
   Mostly all I seen were liars, cheaters,mixed up emotionally not even divorced yet,and commitment phobics.
   
   If I was just looking for sex I would fair so much better offline than online for that sort of thing, No kidding.

   replyreport
9. 61

   ForeverHeatherposted 12 years ago

   It depends on the person and their online dating practices.
   
   Efficiency is key when dating online. Having an idea of what sort of relationship and person you are looking is important - something to aim for makes it easier to weed out the undesirables!
   
   When chatting with prospective mates online a common mistake is being too vulnerable and wishy-washy on who/what you are looking for. Recognizing the serial daters, people on the rebound and other questionable types of online daters is easy if you look for the signs and can reject people politely.
   
   Ask the right questions, look at their profile and pay attention to how they communicate with you and one should be able to tell who is worthy of more time within five to ten minutes.
   
   Otherwise it just ends in going out with people 'because they seem nice' and coming to ANOTHER dead end.

   replyreport
10. 71

    Naomi's Bannerposted 12 years ago

    I have seen very successful relationships comve from dating online.  I have also seen disasters created by meeting someone online.  I have very mixed feelings about it.  I find it hard to trust a person that I can't see their facial expressions, however with the invention of skype now it does make it a lot easier.

    replyreport