my boyfriends ex is pregnant

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   my bf wanst to end our relationship till his babys born he says he still loves me wat do i do ?

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   1. 88

      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Walk.
      
      He doesn't love you.

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      AEvansposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Agnes,
      
      My recommendation is do not wait around. Please move on. A man will tell you anything to keep a woman on the back burner, while they sow there oats. Be a better woman, keep your head up and keep on going. Never let a man lower yourself esteem and odds are he will only play you. He is having a child with someone else. He needs to take on his responsibility and you need to find someone who is worthy of you as a woman. Say Good-bye and say hello to a brighter future.

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      Evan G Rogersposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Walk away - you'll probably end up taking care of the kid
      
      Boyfriend? Give me a break. Not worth it.

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   Uninvited Writerposted 12 years ago

   Ask Dear Abby?

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   thanks x

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   how do you get that?

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   but he says he does tho? if he didnt surley he wud just say then get bk with his ex??

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe she doesn't want him back? Maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Maybe he loves the kid (hope he does actually).
      
      But he can't love you, despite what he says. Else he'd always want to be with you.

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   he doesnt wanabe with me the now becus hes under stress hes goin to lose his job me n him arguin n his mum nearly killed hersel ? think you need a break to see how much you love sumeone??

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      IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Can you really not spell? I'm not being cheeky deliberately, but you do know this a writers' site?

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         Wendi Mposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I'm sorry Izzy, but I couldn't help but laugh when I read your posting.  I know you weren't trying to be mean, but it came across rather comically!

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   yeah i can spell I am just a bit upset just now sorry for that

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   IzzyMposted 12 years ago

   OK
   
   So you have this boyfriend whose ex is about to give birth and he is having a break from you?
   
   If you don't mind saying, can you tell us your ages because that can make a huge difference in any advice you receive.

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   agnes83posted 12 years ago

   thanks yeah he is 20 I am 28,he tells me he loves me and wants a family with me but if he stays with me the now we will end up having a massive argument due to stress and he doesn't want to lose me forever ??

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    Stacie Lposted 12 years ago

    you need to get a backbone and dump him..provided you are over 18 and not depending on this jerk.
    Now it does depend on your age as izzyM stated.
    why are you waiting for his answer? why aren't you deciding for yourself?
    run your own life..he wants his cake and to eat it too.

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    Its because I love him and I don't want to lose him I told him I would wait for him I am a mug?

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       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Of course you're a mug but you don't need to be told that, you know it already. I am a bit concerned when you said you were 28. Was that a typo? He is 20 and you are 28? Did you mean 18?
       
       Regardless, HE is young. Men mature much later than us girls anyway, and having a baby is pretty life-changing for both parents, so you have to give him space on this.
       
       I don't think he knows what he wants. Maybe he thinks its cool to text you saying he loves you, but you know actions speak louder than words.
       
       Stop being so clingy. In later years you will look back on him as nothing more than in infatuation. He isn't good enough for you anyway. You want a man, the father of your children, to come without baggage, and this man already has that.
       
       Walk.

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    KCC Big Countryposted 12 years ago

    Realizing that not everyone is worth our time and love is a tough lesson at any age.
    
    Give him the space to figure out what he wants to do, but don't wait on him to decide what you want to do.

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    thanks

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    but i love him ? he is 20

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       IzzyMposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Do you want to be a doormat all of your life? No, you don't, you want to be an independent woman living by her own means, and making her own decisions.
       
       OK so you have been hurt by love. You are not the first and won't be the last. It won't be your last time in love either.
       
       Find someone better, but before you do, learn to be independent.

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    OK thanks for your advice

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    psycheskinnerposted 12 years ago

    H3e has a baby with another girl and want to stop seeing you.  Sounds like your lucky day. Kick him to the curb.

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    he is about to have a baby with his ex yeah he wants space from me but still says he loves me?

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       Wendi Mposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I say move on Agnes.  I agree with Izzy's earlier statement "Actions speak louder than words!"

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       TamCorposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       
       
       agnes--I know you don't want to hear this, but if he REALLY honestly loved you, he would not want "space".  I had the same thing happen to me, when I was in my 20's...I found out it was just an excuse to mess around with others.
       
       If he's 20 and you're 28, you have to realize that there is a world of difference in his outlook on life, and yours.  You've had more years to "grow up", so to speak.  He's just now getting out in the real world, and it sounds like it's hitting him like a ton of bricks, and he's floundering.
       
       It doesn't mean he's a bad guy--it just means he's still got a lot of maturing to do yet...Don't let him drag you down--get on with your life, as hard as it might be for you.  You'll be glad you did--I promise.
       
       I let mine go, and not much later, found the real love of my life.  It could happen to you, too, but it'll never happen if you don't let go of this relationship.
       
       Good luck.

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       Jean Bakulaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Agnes,
       I had to get hurt once to come to my golden rule of men. If he leaves you once, over any problem, he will always walk out any time there is a problem. His having a child and facing the responsibility of being a Father is huge, and just the fact he's trying to keep you hanging on while he waits for his child to be born, and plans to bail on the child and Mother, show him to be a piece of slime, unworthy of either of you. Move on. At 28 you should know better.

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    thank you all this advice is helping me realise

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    agnes83posted 12 years ago

    yeah I think he probably will go back to his ex anyway

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       Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       It all just sounds like a big can of worms to me.  If he's like "half" the other 20-year-old guys in the world who get into such situations (the ex, the baby, the new girlfriend, etc. etc.), there's a good chance he'll get sort-of back with the ex for the first several months of the baby's life, then they'll be fighting off and on - and there'll be a whole new girlfriend introduced to the mix at some point.  A year or so after, some new girlfriend will also be pregnant, and he'll barely ever see the baby that's on its way now.
       
       Why is his pregnant ex is ex anyway?  Did that happen before you met him, after?  Did the pregnancy make the break up?   Did she get pregnant after they broke up?  Did a pregnancy happy when their relationship was troubled anyway (in which case, it was stupid and thoughtful to let it happen)?  Can of worms.  A kid.  No prize.  What his "issues" are, he's got them.  No point making them part of your life.  If you don't think you go better than that, work on the fact that you don't; and stay out of relationships until you get that worked out.
       
       Best case, he keeps in touch with his child forever and remains having dealings with the ex.  Worst case (as far as a reflection of what he is as a person goes), he forgets about the child in a year or two because he can't be bothered working out the stuff between him and the child's mother. There's nothing less appealing to a lot of people in their twenties than a twenty-something partner who already has a child.

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    Zabbellaposted 12 years ago

    Maybe it is not his baby.

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    pixiezero13posted 12 years ago

    I just read I Hate His/Her Ex by Alex Cooper. You can get it on Amazon or other bookstores. It helped me to deal with so many issues that I had with my fiance’s ex - who I really hated!! Now, my relationship is perfect xxx

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    dashingscorpioposted 12 years ago

    You stated, "my bf wants to end our relationship..." That pretty much says it all. Wish him well and move on. Whatever you do don't become a "booty call" for him when he starts complaining about the stresses of fatherhood and getting along with on again girlfriend. There was a reason why they broke up and most likely it was a "good reason". A relationship/marriage that is based upon circumstances rather than love is likely to fail. One man's opinion. :-)
    Best of luck!

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