Gray Divorce: A Reality up close and personal.

1. 83

   donotfearposted 11 years ago

   Geeeeeez......well, rats.  Here goes the life change of the century!!!
   
   Gosh, have you ever been slammed with the old "I'm through...." line? After several years of marriage?
   
   Over 50 and getting divorced?  It just doesn't sound comforting. Or real.
   
   Think I'll take a nap with my head buried in the sand trying to pretend it's not real. 
   OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING!!!
   "There's a bright golden haze on the meadow,
   There's a bright golden haze on the meadow,
   The corn is as high as an elephant's eye,
   An' it looks like its climbin' clear up to the sky.
   
   Chorus:
   Oh what a beautiful morning,
   Oh what a beautiful day,
   I've got a wonderful feeling,
   Everything's not going my way.

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      oh my...you?

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   2. 71

      AEvansposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I understand Divorce and yes it does stink; but their are brighter things coming your way. Been there already and I can tell you will be okay.

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2. 77

   Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

   Divorce is devasting at any age. Don't ever want to minimize that.
   But it's also an opportunity to recreate yourself in an amazing new way you might never have thought of while married.
   I've known quite a few 50+ divorcees and they're kicking butt and taking names.
   
   We are here for ya, dnf!
   MM

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   1. 73

      WriteAngledposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      One of best events in my life (I was 52 at the time), even though I had to spend 2 tedious years messing round with the courts because he was trying to steal my house and money.   
      
      I'm having far more fun now living life exactly as I want it!

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3. 66

   Pearldiverposted 11 years ago

   Do Not Fear Mate! This is the Beginning of YOUR Time - Which means it is a positive change time that gives you the opportunity to ditch the clutter in your life, whatever that clutter may be!
   
   To do this properly, you have to approach the task practically, rather than emotionally as part of your change will involve also adjusting the way that you feel and how you deal with issues that were foundered on a previous set of feelings.
   
   Above all the internal change is required to ensure that your vulnerability is not exploited, undermined or made to be less important than it is... you need to protect you, so that you can make the change in your life smoother than it would be if you allowed this event to crush you emotionally.
   
   Believe in your personal strengths and believe in change, as it is part of YOUR destiny and not as such, to be determined by anyone else, especially a past influence that insincerely dictates how you should change!
   
   Do Not Fear - be who you are!  You have people in your life that care about you - so don't get all down about losing something! You are only losing a part of a life circle that has almost completed its role in your destiny - You are actually gaining and starting a new life circle, so... as hard as it may appear.. embrace this opportunity and thank the ex for the time you have shared! - Then start your journey and do not fear.... you have many who will walk with you..
   
   Believe and you will see... Promise! Take Care.. PD

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      hey sweet PD...good advice...i like what you had to say...divorce is like death...a new life circle either way..........xo!

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      1. 66

         Pearldiverposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Cheers ML.. I like what you say too!
         
         You know the road and where you want to go... many of the things that restrict us are just perceptions and fear of change...
         
         Hope you are fine - I owe you a large email.. I also know the road
         
         Take care ya hear! 

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            SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            cheers!...yeah...send me a message when you have the time...........from bumbletown nz....off to sleep now and you....later, get some good rest!...have a good day.......  xo

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4. 83

   donotfearposted 11 years ago

   I can't seem to get in action.  I know I need to open the filing cabinet and start sorting through all the receipts, throwing out paper, taking stuff to the Salvation Army store, downsizing my stuff.  But I just don't want to.  How in the heck can somebody you've been married to 15 years take the attitude of "Oh, I'm through....so run along now".   And I'm supposed to just walk away leaving everything?
   
   I've been at the house all day and haven't done anything but surf the internet and go to the store. I'm going on a trail ride in the morning. I don't want to deal with this.

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      no...do not walk away leaving everything...take your time....your time
      
      take care of you...so you can make your decisions for you and no one else...small decisions if you are able....it's easy for me to say this...
      
      do not rush anything....if going for a trail ride made you feel a bit better...then good...i'm sure it was difficult though
      
      you are not the one that made the decision to 'toss your life up in the air'....so if you don't want to deal with it right now...then don't and don't feel pressure from anyone either......
      
      sending you a big hug

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5. 68

   ptosisposted 11 years ago

   Also if married for over ten years and he remarries then kicks the bucket before she does her decade - then YOU get his social security retirement at 65.
   
   I know a friend, married 35 years, then he got married twice - but she get his SS checks , this policy is done to protect women who went through children, etc - only to be put out to pasture later in life.
   
   http://www.ssa.gov/retire2/yourdivspouse.htm

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6. 83

   donotfearposted 11 years ago

   Thanks...needed to hear this.

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      recommend1posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Although I am the guy in respect to your situation - I divorced over 10 years ago after 30 years and waiting ten years for the kids to leave home in their own good time - at first it is devastating, but if you think this through it is mostly the change that is hard not the break-down,  it is hard to face not doing all the normal things and having to do new stuff,   and yet we do it all the time when we go on vacation etc !  Push the regrets and doubts to the back of your mind and think of the freedom and the extended holiday that is the rest of your life.  There are loads of us washed up here in China LOL 
      
      if you get hold of this it can be the best thing that ever happened to you

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