What is the worst/weirdest insult you have ever received?

1. 78

   kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

   The weirdest insult I can remember getting was in a Denny's cafe. My friends and I were hanging out drinking coffee and putting off going home as late as we could. We had one of those big booths that sit a good sized group. We were minding our own business sharing a piece of sinful chocolate cake (man that was one wicked slice of cake!). I was sitting on the otter bit of the booth seat and this guy walks by. He kinda leans in as he walks by and says 'troll' to me and then is gone! My friends and I where less then sober, hence the cake of course, and we all looked at each other and were like 'WTF! Did that just happen?!' With the state of mind we were all in we just dissolved into laughter, it was just to bizarre! I know what I was on but WTF was that guy on?!?!
   
   So what is your weirdest or funniest insult ever? (that you can remember anyway)

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      Baileybearposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      the most bizarre insult I've had thrown my way is Beelzebub (satan/devil) by hubber James Watkins on my evolution of christianity hub

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      Friendlywordposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      YOU DON'T LISTEN! YOU ARE SO HARDHEADED!
      
      I'm hearing impaired.

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      just_curiousposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      When I was a teenager, I must have said something to my sister to deserve it, but I don't remember what. Anyway, she  told me I had a butt only a doctor could love. I have no idea what that meant, but all these years later I remember it.

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2. 84

   jimmythejockposted 13 years ago

   Ok lol so my friend and I were walking down to the local shops when this guy walked past looked me in the eye and said " you look like the ripped out intestines of a dead bitch in heat" I was speachless and the guy walked away laughing.....jimmy

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      kirstenblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thats crazy! Where do these strange people come from?

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      GalaxyRatposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Jimmy, that's DIGUSTING! And not logical. What's the difference of a bitch (female dog)'s intestines to a male's or something?? No difference, really, but if he said, "you have the personality/voice/etc of a dead bitch" that would still be strange, as the thing's DEAD?!

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3. 64

   warchild75posted 13 years ago

   Worst insult ever was actually a comment on one of my hubs,a computer game tips hub if you can believe that,i was informed that it was this persons wish that i and my family died of aids!!!!!!!!! can you believe that,i tracked his ip address and told him i knew his internet service provider and i would report himn if he did it again,he apologised and havent heard from him since!!!!

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   EmpressFelicityposted 13 years ago

   I once had my intellect compared to dog turd while having a debate on an Internet forum (not HP, I hasten to add.  Believe it or not, people are much nicer here )

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5. 59

   Julie2posted 13 years ago

   The biggest insult I received was from a priest. The first time I got married it was through civil court when I was 21. Back then my husband and I did not have money to have a big wedding. So we went to court, paid $25.00 and were wed.
   
   Fast forward - 5 year anniversary we saved up to have the big church wedding. We met with the priest and he said, "I'm sorry my child but you cannot get married before God because you have been living in sin all these years. Your "marriage" (he did the quote thing with his fingers when he said it) has never been recognized by God or the church and those two children you have are bastard children."
   
   I could not believe it. My mouth dropped. I looked at him and said, "How can you call yourself a man of God and spew such insults? You father are the one that is living in sin for judging me." I walked out of that rectory crying and didn't set foot in another church for close to 15 years because of it. I would have never imagined being spoken to like that in Gods house. Can you believe that?

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      Slushyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe you should have reported that incident to someone who's a superior of the priest. That's really not how people of god should talk.

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      kirstenblogposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Charming! (not!)
      
      

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      Home Girlposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I like that very much. When brainwashing substitutes  both decency and common sense. "Perfect" insult. This priest probably even thought he was doing you a favour, "opening" you eyes on you "sin".

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      GalaxyRatposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Your marriage was legal! And God understands if you didn't have the money and then you did, so you could do it....

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6. 57

   hubber-2009posted 13 years ago

   Hubpages deleting all my pages...

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      Slushyposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What content did these pages have so that they would have been deleted? O_O

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7. 41

   slc334posted 13 years ago

   Haha, this is a great forum question.  I was walking once when a guy drove by, rolled down his window, and yelled "Hey! You look like a cucumber!".  I still don't really get it.

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      theresa22posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Some very bizarre posts. A cucumber...different, are you tall and thin and dressed in green lol. There are some very strange individuals around.

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   Slushyposted 13 years ago

   My weirdest "insult" was after a party.
   I was on my way home, the streets were rather dark and a group of five really bully looking guys with wide shoulders approached me.
   "You are the guy right? You are that guy from earlier, huh?"
   
   I told them that I had no idea what they were talking about and that I'm not the guy they believed I were, but well, only thing I got was a punch in the face x_x

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9. 60

   SingleCityGirlposted 13 years ago

   I'd say the biggest insult I received was when my boyfriend of two years didn't tell me of his vacation plans to go to Costa Rica.  He just up and left without a word to me and of course he was unreachable for a week.  I later broke up with him and discovered he was a complete sociopath.  This wasn't the only vacation getaway that he failed to inform me of.  Thankfully, I know the signs of a sociopath and will never make that mistake again.

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      theresa22posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      sounds like an ex of my aunties. He went out for milk and didn't reappear for 3 weeks, he had gone to Germany. He found himself single when he got back lol.

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10. 61

    Lisa HWposted 13 years ago

    Once I thought it would be nice to take a nice, long, solitary, walk; and then go for coffee and a breakfast burrito at McDonalds.  It was really early in the morning, and I thought it would be a really nice start to my day.  It was "pea-soup-humid" Summer morning, and it was super-hot and breezy (not a "good-hair" day, especially for the kind of hair I have).
    
    A little into the walk I was kind of seeing that my idea to walk the 3 miles for coffee wasn't as great as it would have been on a different Summer morning.  In any case, I got to McDonalds, a mess.  My face was kind of pink from walking in the heat, and my hair was sweaty, windblown, and generally awful.  I went to the ladies' room to do what I could with it, freshened up with cold water, and was once again looking forward to sitting alone and just enjoying this little bit of time to myself. 
    
    I wasn't even seated for - what - 30 seconds, when an elderly lady, with a lot of "verbal energy" and a little too much belief that her opinion mattered to a stranger, sat at the tiny table with me.  She said how I "looked alone" (which indeed I was - and for a reason!!) and she thought she'd join me.  Immediately after that she went into a whole, big, thing about my hair!  She started with, "Have you ever thought about parting your hair on the side?  You have a good enough face - it's too bad you don't part your hair on the side."  I suppose I should have been flattered that she deemed my face (which had sweated off all make-up) was "a good enough face" , but she went on and on and on about my hair and how awful it looked!       I was stupid enough to be bothered trying to explain to her that I'd just walked 3 miles in the heat, humidity, and wind (and her harsh and vocal judgment of my "awful" hair was based on "a bad-hair moment").  I couldn't get a word in, because she kept it up and kept it up about about bad my hair was, and how I should part it on the side.   
    
    I didn't know how to make her go away!    She was there, sitting close to me and staring into my face and going on and on about the bad hair.    (I have to admit, she had good hair for such an elderly lady.  It looked like she had it beautifully styled in 1930's movie-star style, and it no hair had blown out of place since.  Apparently, she had better hairspray than I did!  )
    
    This woman harped and harped about the center part-versus-a-side part, and eventually go to asking me, "Have you ever even TRIED parting it on the side?"  (    )  Finally, I shut her up when I told her, "I CANNOT part my hair on the side because I have a giant scar that runs from here to here!"  I was about to tell her the scar was from an accident, and I'm pretty damned happy to have a head at all; but she shut up so quickly it wasn't necessary.    A few minutes later she seemed to decide I wasn't much fun as a companion, and she went and found some other people to sit with. 
    
    (She did seem to track me down a half hour later, when I was standing outside the store next to McDonalds, finishing my coffee, under a shade tree and in the peace and solitude I'd originally hoped I'd fine; and she said, "You look like you don't know what to do with yourself."      I thought, "No - I pretty much had plans about what to do with myself.  YOU'RE the one I don't know what to do with, or what I can do something about!"  I was waiting for her to get on her broom and fly away, but instead she eventually got in old, light-blue, Plymouth and went away.     )

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       theresa22posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I have had more than a couple of bad experiences with old people recently. Now when I hear them complaining about youngsters of today, I have to bite my tongue.

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11. 88

    Stacie Lposted 13 years ago

    oh yeah, I love those "back-handed" compliments!
    I was told by a friend ,after viewing my high school yearbook photo, that i used to be pretty!
    argh!

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12. 61

    theresa22posted 13 years ago

    I can't think of any wierd insults I've received, but I once had a bloke walk right up to my face and scream at the top of his voice, he then laughed and walked off. I hope his throat was sore for a while afterwards.

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13. 78

    MissEposted 13 years ago

    Hmmmmm....someone called me a prude slut once.  I still don't get it.

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    Right On Timeposted 13 years ago

    I love you because I hate you. Huh?

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15. 80

    timorousposted 13 years ago

    I once knew this girl who was going with this guy I'd known for some years.  They were both aquaintances of mine, but not friends.  This girl is a bit dim, shall we say.
    
    I ran into them shortly after they'd gotten married, and she said to me "We were going to invite you, but we didn't think you'd come".  I really didn't know what to say...

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