I'd like feedback on my article: Working With Children: The Good, The Bad...

1. 61

   chapman-lauraposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Working With Children:     The Good, The Bad And The Obscure. (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 98

      theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      I have only quickly skimmed your article, but it seems a bit muddled. Here are the issues as I see them:
      
      There is no proper introduction. You need to tell the reader what the article is about, what they can expect to get out of it and why the topic is important.
      
      Your title isn't very search-friendly. Why not just call it Working With Children?
      
      Having said that, you haven't actually written to the title. You begin by presenting a short dissertation on a child's imagination. What has that got to do with working with children? Do you see what I mean? You have to stick to the topic as indicated by the title. Every paragraph has to connect with 'working with children.
      
      As you go down the page, you say, "As a childcare professional there are lots of bad times/experiences when faced with safeguarding children, but the main issue I will address in this article is the pressure on them in regards to their academic studies." So if this is the main topic, then the title and the rest of the content must reflect that. So maybe your title should be "Helping Children Deal With Academic Pressure"?
      
      You've linked to the Telegraph and the Guardian, which are UK papers. So if you are focussed on education in the UK, then you should mention that in your introduction.
      
      There are many grammatical errors ad typos through the article. Try running the text through a free online checker, such as Grammarly. Though having a real person proofread it for you would be better.
      
      You need to work out what your article is really about because it jumps around all over the place. Pick your topic. Narrow it down, and then write about it.
      
      Good luck.

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2. 75

   docashpposted 6 years ago

   I think you should try to organise your content under headings and sub headings. The content is interesting but scattered. The moment I start developing my interest there is a shift of ideas to a different topic.

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3. 94

   Kierstin Gunsbergposted 6 years ago

   I love callouts, unfortunately though, Google does not. It doesn't read the text in them and you want Google to be able to "see" all of your text. I agree about organizing your content under headings and subheadings, which will help your readers to find information easily.
   
   I'd also add an introduction. It doesn't have to say "introduction" but just a few hundred or so words helping to hold the reader's hand into what you're about to share with them.

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4. 61

   chapman-lauraposted 6 years ago

   Thank You everybody I will keep working on it. I did have an introduction originally but deleted it I shall write a better one and work on focusing the article.

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