Sex Limitations

1. 59

   Coricetposted 14 years ago

   My wife told me I need to stay away from her during the week and we can only have intercourse on the weekends. During the week we rub, tug, and kiss on each other in the middle of the night, but no fireworks @ the end.
   Now correct me if Im wrong but if a man can produce sperm up to 9 times per 24 hrs, how in the world am I suppose to wait till the weekends? I dont understand what all the 4 play is for if your not going to blow each others top off.
   To top this all off, Even on the weekend we may have 4 play and she makes sure I explode before we make love. She said something about it makes the sperm count or feeling more strong the 2nd go round. But @ the same time she tells me it doesnt matter if we have another kid or not!!!! Marriage is so confusing. Any suggestions?

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   1. 54

      FAIZANALTAFposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      TELL HIM THAT IT Z NESSESARY 4 DE MEN TO DISGHARGE ONCE A WEEK OTHER WISE THEY TAKE INTEREST IN WORLD

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   2. 70

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have only one piece of advice, I suggest you get over your own needs. It sounds like this is all about what you want? It sounds like you want sex everyday of the week and since your wife isn't willing to put out that often, you rather come to a forum to discuss your problem.
      
      I find your actions to discuss your marriage problem, and your lack of knowledge of the word "marriage" to begin with, yet you are married? Shows you are not too bright and make irrational decisions more often than not.
      
      You want a a better understanding- read
      
      http://hubpages.com/hub/A-Poem-You-Wont … se-part-13
      http://hubpages.com/hub/Why-Relationships-Are-Ruined
      
      Making things work, is to understand life in general, for which, seems to have escaped you. Your sex drive, is to be under control by you. You are now in a marriage and your only source for that form of expression is now controlled by your mate. So, you two can have a much more rewarding sexual experience.
      
      If you cannot see that....then I suggest you evaluate yourself a little more closely. No offense.
      
      Just a thought.

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   3. 0

      cosetteposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i don't understand why she permits foreplay but does nothing to alleviate your excited state. that seems kind of strange to me. tell her how this makes you feel and ask her how she feels. it appears as if she is trying to do something to increase your sperm count, but she is going at it the wrong way. but then she tells you she doesn't care if you have another child? you're right, that is confusing.
      
      if it were me, i would um, take care of myself to blow off steam and just quit asking her. she obviously wants to control all of your guys's romantic interactions, which isn't right. so step off and let her do whatever she wants, then she'll probably stop these little games and talk to you about what's really going on in her head.

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      1. 75

         Mikel G Robertsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I went that route, I ended up having sex a grand total of three times per year (birthday, anniversary, and new years.)... Yes we are divorced now.

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   4. 65

      mintinfoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Sex is 99% mental. Your mind maybe on sex but her mind is focused on work and other issues. Sex for her becomes a chore then it becomes painful and undesirable. Respect her wishes or risk losing her affection in other areas.

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   5. 57

      Msgracieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well, I'm the queen of holding out, yes, someone mentioned maybe there isn't enough affection from the relationship for her that she needs more of....so yes, person in my life, he is like or was like, LET'S GET NAKED! that isn't really too appealing to me, he would say that and I'm like what? later, we would just do more of kissing and a little touching that was nicer than those rude words I took them as, he would laugh thinking jokingly but for me I didn't care for it, but try to be as intimate with her as you can...
      Many kisses rubs and touches and stroking her gently, blowing in her ear might be helpful, but maybe, even with the sex, you could be a little too rough, that was another issue I had with him, I would need recovery time cause he was quite rough and after awhile I could barely stand it, so try to be easy and gentle.
      Also, it could be a control thing for her, maybe she is lacking control and order in life and feel that is the only place to control it...or maybe she finds it a major distraction during the week, maybe she likes the intensity of waiting and having the great release on the weekend maybe it excites her more, but hey there has to be a medium, maybe you could work things up to a thurs-sun or fri-mon?

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   6. 57

      Kevin Hemmingerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      First, check whether there is a "good" or even a mediocre underlying reason.  Was she traumatized sexually and that's all she can stand?  Is sex painful and weekends is all she can handle?  Do you pay enough attention that her orgasm needs are satisfied, yada yada ... only you know your situation, dive deep and ask yourself what the reason is.  As her what the reason is.
      
      Then, decide whether that reason is good enough for you.  "Just because" its the way she wants it shouldn't fly.  You sound like you would pretty much do anything in the world to sexually gratify her.  You should ask yourself why she is unwilling to compromise (and hopefully the once a weekend isn't her compromise from once a month or not at all).
      
      I've been there done that.  I was married to a control freak woman who was abusive in setting all the rules in ways that were frustrating.  I'm now married to a wonderful girl who goes out of her way to imagine ways to make me happy.  #2 is a hell of alot better for certain.

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   7. 0

      Deborah Sextonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Although even a wife should say no once in a while to keep boredom away it seems she is calling all the shots and everything is on her terms. Is she trying to get you to cheat on her?
      How are the other areas of your marriage?

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   8. 71

      yenajeonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I hate to be the one to break this to you, but its very possible your wife is cheating on you. It would explain why she wants to limit the intimacy to such a small level and certain space.
      
      Good luck !

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   9. 58

      Ask Leanne?posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You need to sit down in a calm enviroment with your wife and discuss this matter. Does she feel that you love her enough and if so there is cause to believe of her starting to get intimately unattached from you. Maybe if you focuss on talkin more, reliving the start of your relationship together and really getting to know easch other all over again you will see a complete difference, if you love your wife then really get to know her

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2. 0

   Poppa Bluesposted 14 years ago

   Your wife is a tease. I suggest you stop paying attention to her for a while. Act disinterested in sex. You need to take charge and make her beg you for it!

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   1. 61

      double_frickposted 14 years agoin reply to this

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   2. 70

      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Bad advice.

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   3. 57

      Smiley_Snehaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Oh!!

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3. 84

   wychicposted 14 years ago

   Masturbate,it'll help get rid of the excess . On the same token...there's nothing wrong with teasing, I know I have a lot of fun with it myself...but nothing ALL WEEK?? I'm just curious if the "only on the weekends" is because of tired from work or something, or just some strange rule for personal reasons. Maybe she really does want to have a kid and just wants to make absolutely sure she gets some "essential ingredient" from you on the weekends? Makes no sense to me...I want another kid, but my husband and I both agree that it'll happen on its own when it's meant to, and until then we just go with the flow and do what we want, when we want.

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4. 0

   Pani Midnyte Odinposted 14 years ago

   Maybe, like other women, she feels that there is too much sex in your relationship and not enough affection. You should talk to her about the way she's feeling. Just because you're married, that doesn't give you the right to have sex whenever you want to. You have to think about how she feels too.

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5. 62

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Is your front door bolted or welded shut, if not open it and walk away.....give her a gift voucher before you go so that she can buy herself something battery operated......hope that helps

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6. 60

   MistressGigiposted 14 years ago

   Find out what she likes, and he fantasies, and make your bedroom play liven up. She may not have told you what she likes even.
   
   Communication and great sex for both partners is the cure.

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7. 62

   Daniel Carterposted 14 years ago

   This is most likely a case of the wife needing to have power and control over her man. She isn't interested in communicating and making the relationship better. She's making sure she keeps him on a short leash so that she can feel in charge and not threatened that he'll go out and seek sex elsewhere. She is creating, playing and controlling a game.
   
   So I disagree with those who say they need to "discuss" and "communicate." I'll bet she is completely unwilling to listen to rational thought, because she is afraid to give up her power position. You can't talk your way with people who aren't interested in participating. This sounds like a one sided conversation for him and for her.
   
   The bottom line is if she doesn't want her hubby to wander and seek sex elsewhere, she's going about it the WRONG way. It's guaranteed he will eventually snap and take up a bed somewhere else. It will be a lesson learned too, too late. As for him, it sounds like he's not finished sowing his wild oats, really. Not sure, but I get that feeling. Maybe marriage was premature for both.
   
   The bottom line is that talking and communication *should* be an integral part of the relationship, but it appears to me that neither are ready to really go there. So then, the game goes on...
   
   Wishing both well.

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   1. 61

      megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I tend to agree with this.  it sounds more like a game of power and control on her part, because if it was more like being too tired for sex during the week, she wouldn't even allow foreplay because in most instances, foreplay requires a lot more energy than sex.  No, I think there is something else going on here and its possible that she thinks if she keeps her man in a habitual state of 'being ready to explode' he will stay with her and follow her around like a little puppy waiting for scraps.

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      1. 0

         china manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         If this is your avatar you certainly do not look like a puppy to me!! What do you think , control for control sake - or are you coming on too strong ?  More info needed here as we sure as hell can't ask her can we ?

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         1. 61

            megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yeah thats me, but I wasn't talking about myself being a puppy.  What are you asking me here?  sorry to make you repeat, but i just didn't understand what you were getting at.

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         2. 0

            lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            

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8. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   The only thing I would say is indeed look after yourself first, you need happiness and as hurtful as it is, sometimes that means moving on.  I wish you all the best.

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9. 59

   Hokeyposted 14 years ago

   Hmmmmm........No comment..........

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10. 68

    blondepoetposted 14 years ago

    What the heck? Sorry to say but where does she get all these bizarre theories from.

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11. 60

    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    The Internet!

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    1. 0

       lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       

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    2. 68

       blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Oh derrrr of course, that internet really gives people some very strange ideas lol.

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12. 61

    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    It's hard for me to empathize with you; I've never had that response before.
    
    In fact your wife and I have sex frequently during the week.

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    1. 57

       yoshi97posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Ron, you are soooooooooooo evil.

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13. 0

    china manposted 14 years ago

    I have had friends with similar situations, one couple were because Ron's cruel, but really funny, joke was the case - and she was busy elsewhere during the week, the other was that the guy was banging her unmercifully at every opportunity, which I gather was great for her - but got to be too much of a good thing.

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14. 0

    B.C. BOUTIQUEposted 14 years ago

    wow, very confusing...sorry to hear that...
    
    Something in her logic does not make sense, and I am a woman and have never thought this way at all..
    
    I wonder where she has got this interesting way of thinking when it comes to intercourse....
    
    interesting , to say the least....

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15. 0

    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    someone said sex.

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16. 76

    cheaptrickposted 14 years ago

    Hmmmm,  I always thought Begging and Foreplay were Synonyms:}

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