My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for more than a year, we had lots in

1. 59

   sontagposted 15 years ago

   My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for more than a year, we had lots in common and loved...
   
   each other a lot. We were planning a short vacation together but suddenly he changed his mind saying he preferred to spend his money in an expensive camera that he really wanted.  I felt very dissapointed and told him that I really needed time together away from work. I went ahead and took the trip by myself.  When I came back we went out for dinner and where talking just fine until he heard me saying I enjoyed my trip.  Then he suddenly told me he didnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore.  I havent heard from him again.  I feel confused and extremely hurt, I still dont understand wh

   replyreport
2. 65

   Lisa HWposted 15 years ago

   Maybe he had started to change in how he was thinking/feeling before the trip, and maybe it was that (not the camera) that was his real reason for thinking the trip wouldn't be a good idea.  If he was planning to make a change before the trip he probably would have felt awkward or guilty going on the trip as if all was great.  Maybe he didn't want to spoil your trip and planned to break up as soon as you got back, and maybe he thought that as long you seemed to have had a good time it was an OK time to break up.  He probably knew what he was going to say but figured he'd let you tell him about the trip before saying it (out of trying to be polite and trying not to dump the bad stuff on you the minute he first saw you).
   
   I suppose there's the chance he really did think having something "to keep" was a better way to spend money than "blowing it" on a trip; and maybe your spending your money on the trip "drove home" the point that you and he have different ideas about what to spend money on?  Or, maybe he's someone who didn't like the idea of you going on the trip without him and that "drove home" the point that you're more independent than he likes?
   
   It's all just guesses, of course.  I know it doesn't help to keep this in mind, but whenever someone breaks up "out of the blue" the other person is usually hurt and confused.  If nothing else, keep in mind that if things weren't what they should have been between you, better he break up now than let things go on and on indefinitely. For now, hang in there.  See what happens.  Either you'll move on or else there's the chance you may end up getting back together.

   replyreport
3. 69

   stricktlydatingposted 15 years ago

   For whatever reason, it sounds like your boyfriend has ended your relationship. It's obviously left you feeling hurt and confused - which is normal to feel when the one you love has ended your relationship.  It's disappointing that he didn't choose to go on holiday with you. It sounds like he didn't care for you enough or didn't want to take the relationship further, as he was willing to participate in the planning of your holiday, but when it came down to it, he decided not to go. Good for you for still taking the holiday. He may feel some guilt for not going with you (hense the silent treatment he's since given you) but still it sounds like he wasn't able to move forward in your relationship. After a year together of course you should be planning holidays together, but he's backed out, which is why you're left feeling so hurt.

   replyreport
4. 61

   dutch84posted 14 years ago

   It seems like the problem is about more than just a camera and a trip.

   replyreport