i live with my boyfriend of two years, he is 10 years older than me, i am 20, al

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   cherylbethposted 13 years ago

   i live with my boyfriend of two years, he is 10 years older than me, i am 20, all i have ever...
   
   wanted is a family and to get married, after two years my partner has announced that he wants neither any time soon, i feel trapped as i have very little income from my job working with disabled children, no friends or family to turn to or live with and im stuck, i spent 2 years in a womens hostel while i was 16, please help im am getting so depressed and upset, we cant talk with out arguing.

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2. 70

   FduToitposted 13 years ago

   You know what you want and what will make you happy. If he is not ready to get married and to start a family this does not mean he is a bad person... It simply means he may not be the right guy for you.
   
   You have told him what you want. You can't force him to marry you or to be the father of your children. There is nothing to argue about. It sounds to me like you are ready to move on but have some limiting beliefs...
   
   Tell yourself that you deserve to be happy and that you deserve a good husband that also wants to have children. And, open your mind towards accepting what you want into your life.

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3. 56

   dawnMposted 13 years ago

   Cherylbeth, this man is not going to marry you and you have made yourself dependent on him and this has hurt your self esteem and worth.  You have to pick yourself up and move out now.  Go back to a shelter and save up your money work two or three jobs and get back on your feet.
   
   Never ever look for a man to save you, you must save yourself.  Do not live with a man until he asks you to marry him, the statics for living together and then marrying are so low it rarely happens. 
   
   You need to love yourself, respect yourself and know that you have self worth; you are young and have your whole life ahead of you, so get out and make your life fantastic. 
   Stop feeling trapped and helpless, that you are not, you have two legs, two arms, eyes, ears, a heart that beats, a brain that works so use them!!!!!!
   Be strong and believe in yourself that is all that anyone has in this world, you must love yourself first than you will find a wonderful man who will love you one day!

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   mimindposted 13 years ago

   First decide if you still want the relationship. If no start looking for cheap housing it is out there renting a room in someones house can be very cheap (craigslist, seraches etc). If need be perhaps you may need to get a secound job or a new job. You may like what you do but I have the same type of job pays not that great. To help others you first have to help yourself. There is no easy answer but a word of advice even if you at sometime find someone you think is the one ever again always make sure you are not 100 percent dependent even married situations change weather we like it or not. If you are going to move out try to set a savings timeline granted most states have at least a 30 day eviction rule look it up in case he threghtens to kick you out as he has decided its done. Maybe he will be nice and agree to let you stay until you can find a place.

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5. 61

   smcopywriteposted 13 years ago

   you will have to leave him, you understand that. he wont change his mind and you know what you want.
   you dont want to wake up one day and be sorry for an entire lifetime spent with this person, you will hate him.
   do it now. rip it off like a band aid.
   if he does say yes, do you really want children with this person?is he saying it to placa you? why would he be with someone that is your age knowing that you have kids and marriage ahead of you if he doesnt want either? what is he waiting for? there is never the "perfect" time. there may the the most inappropriate time but never the perfect time

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