What was your experience and how did you handle it (quit, suck it up)?
I've had a few monomaniacal female bosses. I don't know what it is with women bosses who have women employees who show any kind of initiative, intelligence, individuality or promise.... Usually I get fed up in these situations, end up getting fired because I've had enough and speak my mind...Obviously I didn't handle it too well,, or maybe you could say getting fired put me out of my misery!!
Hell yes! My problem stems chiefly from incompetent, arrogant, sadists who don't know how to deal with an employee who has a disability. Actually several, but their connections are myriad and inextricably intertwined.
The thing that really irks me is that I work in public education, chiefly special ed!! You would think the folks who deal with that would have a clue. Ummm...not. I was not the only one who had a problem with this principal, but in my case, the Super's office circled their wagons around her. She had complaint after complaint after complaint. You'd think that - aside from my unblemishable reputation (well earned, duh) for being honest (I'd like to think it a moral choice, but it is also likely a by-product of being extremely literal.
My mistake was believing this principal had the same...well...principles. That I could trust her to be honest. Trust her period.
The sick irony is even as she failed miserably to even try to accomodate some of my most basic needs, or even give me half a chance at self-engineering said tools, arrangements, schedule, book with staff pictures and their names (hey you doesn't work when you've been in the same system for 7 years!) et cetera.
So...after 6 pretty successful years being a 1:1 aide for a (then) boy whose diagnosis THEY couldn't figure out (clue folks: you're NOT psychiatrists, doctors, neurologists, or medical professionals of any kind - you have NO business playing armchair expert!). One year it's "high-functioning Autism (HFA)", the next year it's Asperger's. *I* was his acccomodation, and they did SH*T to support me.
Then, at somebody's criminally incompetent whimsy, they decided we needed a break from each other. The first week of school, my student - YES - I considered him MY student and MY responsibility, even after being formally relieved of such - popped his new para- right in the kisser. I just WONDER why that is.
No, I don't really. They thought they were so smart and what () needed was some of the bootstraps treatment. DUMBASSES! The LAST LAST LAST LAST LAST thing you EVER say to a kid on the spectrum is "because I told you so"!!! It has no meaning and it is absolutely stupid, incompetent, and very very destructive.
6 years I was with this kid, not a scratch on me. One week, and this little whiner weasal bully gets her karma in the kisser, and they EXPEL this kid!
That same year under the aformentioned a-ho...I mean..principal, I floundered as she played miss busy-body switching me around and not explaining my duties. NEWSFLASH - we with NVLD do NOT transition well. It takes a hero's effort to get up to snuff - and then you up and move me?! You @#$ch!!!
Yeah. She fired me. This little twit who didn't know her job from her elbow (ahem!), who lied to staff (professional and support staff alike) on a regular basis, who peeked into classrooms from the rear door trying not to be seen spying. Yeah - she was a winner all right.
And even as her oh-so-competent decision to fire me stood, this same super's office who SO had her back, eventually had NO choice but for the looming UPRISE and upheaval from the professional staff who had had more than they could take and were having union meetings about her, and sending out their resumes - had no choice but to fire HER.
Lesson? Sometimes the educators are the LEAST educated.
Many. Underpaid, given too much work, endured abusive and prejudice remarks, no breaks, no training and expected to do work anyway, discrimination, unappreciated, etc. A couple times, got myself fired by refusing to be a slave. Other times, quit. Of course, at least one of them, I endured it for six years, then couldn't make myself obey anymore. Never will put myself through that again, for anybody or anything. On the last one, I accepted work no one else would accept, got praise, but I did one thing they didn't like (insubordination) and they fired me. Good riddance.
I should say this: I got fired for refusing to make requested corrections on paperwork which I had turned in; the corrections were bogus, about a subject I knew more about than management who made the corrections. I refused. It was the one and only time in six years that I'd refused to do anything; I was known for taking on any tasks, no matter the difficulty; tasks others refused.
I have 14 employers and it common to be treated terribly by at least one of them a day.
I know that everyone else is getting the crap passed down to them and whereas I am on the bottom rung of the ladder the crap lands on me.
For the most part, I know it is part of the business so I just suck it up and wait for the day to pass.
Quitting is never an option as I believe in Karma and it what comes down will eventually go back up.
Oh yes - I had a World Class nut case boss once who forced his employees to sing and dance in Country Western productions. I complained (I was hired to be a writer) and learned he had been doing it for decades. He was finally forced to retire - for which I was thankful. I'd have quit and filed charges or something. Oh yeah - my assignment was to sing in in a women's quartet. We had to sing C&W and Gospel music.
That sounds sort of funny in a strange way. That's one of the oddest things I've heard a boss make their employees do.
Haha, and you didn't do it?!! That sounds like something straight out of the TV show The Office. Hahah, I think I would have done it just so I could tell stories about it later.
Yes. I had one job in a PR agency headed by a husband-wife team. I call it "The Bad Place."
She was a sadistic narcissist. Now that I know what that is I can see how her behavior fits the personality type. But at the time it was just bizarre ... like being in a creepy fun house.
It was a pattern. They woo you in and make you feel really special. You are the flavor of the week.
Then the psychological torment begins. Belittling in front of the staff.Punishment (I felt a lot like Cinderella with her evil Stepmother).
Crazy (mean, threatening) voice mails left at 3 a.m.
Guilting and shaming and turning the rest of the staff against you.
Suddenly you are a pariah. And of course there is always a new darling coming in. Fresh blood.
You haven't done anything wrong or different from when you were hired. But it's clear your turn has come. You are being targeted for (ex)termination.
The average tenure at this agency was 7 months. Revolving door.
I came back from a European vacation to find all my personal effects had been packed up and delivered to my apartment manager along with a dismissal letter.
They obviously didn't get the Belgian chocolates I'd brought back from my trip.
It was a shock but a huge relief to have the torture ended.
I am going to have to read more about this sadist narcissist type. The pattern you talk about with the wooing in and the psychological torment all the way to the fresh blood is all too familiar to me.
Creepy fun house... good description! Only in my experience they prefer to force employees to quit.
Completely describes the day job I have to pay the bills until I am making more money running my own business.
Can't wait until my torture has ended!
I've had bad experiences with husband/wife employers. I actually can't recall a good experience. I'm sorry you had to endure that
LOL! My job is a husband/wife business. Terrible mix.
I have been working since I was a child. Believe me. I was treated better as an illegal child laborer on a farm compared to some of the psycho office bosses I've worked for. The worst boss that I had was appointed by a group of rich women whose husbands supported the governor. This sorry excuse for a boss whined all day long and expected us to worship her. She wanted to be friends with her staff, so she would buy us chocolates and teddy bears after we worked so hard on putting statewide conferences together. What she did was send us all to counseling. I have her to thank for my understanding of co-dependency and passive-aggressive behavior. Which came in handy when I later worked in a prison setting. I also learned that you have to play the game if your work supports you and your lifestyle. Employers know that they have you over a barrel if you need the job, the money, and the benefits. No job is a dream job if you are used and abused. I won't quit a job until I have another one to go to. I have a mouth on me and speak my mind, but I have yet to be fired. No matter where I work, I'm no slacker. And I don't believe in sticking it to the boss or co-workers. I just quit when I can't stand the scenery.
@Carol Burnham - the crazy boss I mentioned was indeed a narcissist and possibly a sociopath. I actuatly wrote a hub about bad bosses, and went into detail about that experience. I've had many nutty bosses (screamers, liars, you name it), but that was the most amazingly bizarre experience of all.
One CEO requested a report about an out-of-town meeting (fair enough), then demanded a list of "All the people who were there and all those who weren't there.". Another executive would create extensive and time-consuming projects (example - write a report on the economic impact of XYZ on the entire state."), with unrealistic deadlines - such as one week. Then, after staff members worked themselves to death and shifted priorities to meet the deadline, he would forget he had ever requested it.
There's quite a bit of literature on such abnormal and destructive behavior in the workplace. It's far more common than Corporate America wants to admit. These behaviors have a huge impact on the financial costs of industries (which consumers absorb) and on tax dollars (for those situations in government settings).
I work for one company and the regional boss is an ooolder person just waiting to get old enough to retire and her manager below her is so unprofessional and unknowledgeable about the position she holds.
Their favorite saying when you ask a question or make a comment is if you don't like it quit.
I think this is because they don't want to do their job and be bothered by someone who does know and want to do their job.
Bad bosses=company loosing money but you can't tell anyone including HR Dept. which I have nicknamed the Huh, Right Dept. because they don't want to loose there job so they let you slide through without answering your complaints or questions.
The surprise will be on this whole company because they may or not know that they are facing a class action lawsuit from their employees. I will stay employed to see the outcome.
I have been ripped off, lied to, taken for granted, banned from forums and relieved of accolades.
When I was fresh out of college I worked for a husband/wife team who were scientologists. They ran their office as L. Ron Hubbard directed in some book of his. They were micromanagers, as the book directed, and they had a written policy on every tiny bit of minutae that could possibly happen there. They even recommended a specific stall in the bathroom because the it had a toilet paper dispenser that unrolled toilet paper faster than the other stall did. This toilet paper dispenser had "more efficient technology," LOL. They also decided that no file folder should be more than 3/4 of an inch thick from the papers it contained, and would periodically go through everyone's office with a ruler, measuring how fat their file folders had gotten. These are just two examples of the never-ending cray-cray.
It was so creepy. When I balked at going along with their crazy-a$$ policies, the husband tried to browbeat me into submission using some sort of tricks that are supposedly to be the first steps to brainwashing. When I told them they should let employees know about the mandatory scientology crap before they hired them, he repsonded, "Well, we tried that but when people knew in advnace, nobody would accept a job here." LOL, what a bunch of whackos!
I held out as long as I could, because they owned an ad agency and I thought working at an ad agency was my dream job, Which maybe it was, just not THIS ad agency. Plus, I needed the experience on my resume. I finally quit when they had me buying billboard space for an unnamed client. I found out the billboards were for ads that were promoting scientology. They specifically had me buying them along the route that the current US president would be taking in his motorcade through town. LOL, I guess they thought he might decide to join them in their spaceship. I quit after I found out who this "mystery client" really was.
At least I didn't have to perform country-western dances on stage, LOL. Sorry this is so long. But it is true! There is no way I could make this junk up!
While a student in Med School, I took a job with a local clinic..it offered clinical experience towards my resume.....
There was a particular physician who appeared extremely friendly to certain staff members...however...I soon discovered why..if you cowtowed to him he was ok, but if you did not allow him favors, he was a tyrant...From day one he knew where I was coming from, we butted heads everyday..my schedules were always splits or doubles..I got all the job duties no one wanted..and was put on the spot /questioned daily in front of other employees.....He often called me into his office and I was asked to walk across the room so he could rate my gait...I stayed at that job for the duration of summer..but what could have been a negative, became the best experience of my life...being I am a strong outspoken person who is head strong, this taught me to grin and bear it, suck it up..years later I heard he was accused of employee abuse and
sexual-harassment....I still keep my mouth closed and moved on in my life's career....
Essentially, I've been badly treated in virtually all my jobs (except the hotel industry). It's par for the course in the world out there. Office politics. People on the top treat people on the bottom badly.
I just posted a new hub called Co-worker, Demon on Earth which is a hub about being treated terribly by a co-worker and the boss does nothing which is just as bad as the boss treating you terribly.
My 1st boss when I was a teen was an ---hole for sure. I'll never forget that guy. Just always p...... off at everybody except his asst mgrs.
When I was a young engineer I had a new boss that was a complete ass, he would "order" me to do things that were obviously wrong, chew me out when I told him it was wrong and demand that I do things his way... Later he would arrive and shout at me for doing it the way I was doing it and demand that I do it the way that I had told him earlier!!
This went on for a couple of months until he caught me in a discussion with the sales and the Technical director of the company, interrupting he demanded that I went and did something that was completely stupid, so I told him it was stupid.. He began to shout at me demanding that I did exactly as I was told and so forth; this went on for about 30 seconds until he noticed that the two directors had faced the wall.
He asked them why they were facing the wall and the technical director without turning replied "when he hits you we will not have seen him do it!"
My new boss only lasted another week.....
I have several bosses that don't have the nerve to fire an employee who is killing the whole area for many companies and I don't like having to go into the places she has because she is causing mayhem for everyone.
I think a terrible boss is one who can't do the job and treats the good workers like crap and avoid the bad workers because they don't like confrontation.
I have been told that I wouldn't make a good boss because I would fire all the whiners, trouble makers, bad attitude workers and slackers.
Guess I have job security on the botton as I try not to be guilty of most of the items listed as a grunt level worker.
For the past seven years, I have not received a job performance review based upon my actual job performance. My reviews have been 90% based upon my personality; for disclosure sake I am not the type of person who is going to tell you what you want to hear, I will tell it the way it is. This is not what employers what to hear, all they want to hear is positive all the time. While working at a psyche hospital, I wasted a lot of time arguing with my boss because some member of hospital leadership said "he's not smiling, he's not happy at his job." This to no end caused a constant headache for me and from my viewpoint it was an unnecessary waste of time. My argument with my boss was always the same; please judge my job performance on the tasks and duties I perform. The feedback I got from co-workers throughout the hospital was overwhelming good, that told me all I needed to know. Despite that, my boss could never really get past it.
I next went to work at a casino, it was even worse. Management at the casino cared about one thing, perception. Written on my job reviews there was “does not smile enough”. I was told once that I was not enthusiastic enough on the phone; these types of tactics just escalated over the three and half years I worked there. This was all exacerbated by employee satisfaction surveys; it was no wonder when management decided to cut fulltime position and change all the 40 hour position to 36 or 37 hours, those employees would become unhappy. Their tactics included misinformation campaigns, half-truths, and lies. The goal by management during that period of time was to shift blame for employees’ unhappiness away from themselves onto others. At one point, the assistant GM told me in front of my peers, “I don’t hear anything good about you, but I don’t hear anything bad about you, and that is not good”. In retrospect after being terminated, their tactics were designed specifically to create yes men. That was want they wanted, the very notion of challenging management made you into a problem employee. Management was always right and everyone else was wrong; I have come to the conclusion that micromanagers and dictators have a lot in common. The funny thing is this, casinos are all about making money and the number one way for them to do that is through customer service. One of the ways that it was measured was through secret shopping. During a two year period, I was secret shopped 13 times and I scored 100% all 13 times, that is all the feedback I needed to hear.
Now I work for a company that has decided to apply the seven habits of highly effective people onto the organization. Leadership wants to improve their corporate culture; in reality they want employees to be happy despite low wages. Employers now are more concerned with their employees’ satisfaction then the mission of the company. I have watched it effect management in several companies with such a negative impact that leadership is now failing.
Interesting reading, if the experiences you all report are accurate, you've made me very happy that I've never worked for anyone else but myself.
I didn't think I would be able to add another reply to this post but this one employer that I have been at for a little over a year that has a reputation of forcing you to quit because they want you to commit fraud for the sake of them getting work and the mgmt gets bonuses and perks from the work that people will do as they want not the way it is actually done.
I have a friend who was being falsly accused of fraud because she reported her work the way she did it and not the way they wanted it reported.
Me being an honest person, have morals and ethics, acts professionally had to side with this person getting the raw deal and guess what?
I have had my work reduced to the next two weeks and no more in site and the boss has told me that she has an ace team in place (people who are able to be controlled by the boss and willing to do things that aren't right just to make a buck and be friends with this person whom they really don't know other than from the outside.
I am thinking that even though I will have to cut back and live with less than people on welfare because I won't qualify maybe it is worth it to retain my moral, ethics and professionalism and I know Karma knows when to knock.
More than 80% of Americans are unhappy in their jobs. In England, the happiest people are those that are self employed in their own small businesses. That says it all. It appears that most people who 'manage' other people think that people 'below' them are not entitled to be treated with respect and manners.
Of course they don't give respect or manners to those below them.
Would you show respect and say please to the corner copy machine? Or a mule pulling a wagon? One that you expect to wear out and replace every couple of years?
No, at most you change the oil or provide hay - try to keep the machine running or the mule pulling for as long as possible while spending the least amount possible on it.
I used to teach in a sectarian university and I didn't follow some rules, prayer before lecture. The salary was good. I was given a warning and I resigned. My employers were the students (sarcasm) who are wealthy and they can say anything to a teacher and the administrator sided with them because of the money they brought in.
I liked my work before in the state university better because the government was not in direct supervision, admin people are my bosses. I think that if the government is your employer your supervisors are not that strict unlike in private sector where direct output is needed (monetary).
I believe the motto you get what you pay for. If you pay poor wages, no benefits and give no means of incentives to you employees you will inturn get employees who hate their jobs, poor performance and large turnover rates.
I have never been a boss so I don't know the pressures of their bosses upon them but when you are the one on the bottom the pressure to make everyone is pretty overwhelming and the bottom rung employees are the ones that actually do the production that make the money that goes up the chain.
I work for 14 parttime merchandising companies and am trying to learn how to open or start an online business in Maine where I can be the boss and employee and if I treat myself like crap as a boss, then I will know the employee part of me better smarten up.
Two of the companies that I work for are in Class Action Lawsuits for not paying people for work they do and other things required by employer but not compensated for.
Would like to quit but would like to see if anything is recovered from these terrible employers.
I am diligently looking for work that I can do at home or close to home because after using my vehicle to work for these horrible employers who don't pay for your gas, mileage, and repairs I am now stuck with a useless money sucking piece of junk in my yard from being their slave for nothing in return.
by Patricia Scott 19 months ago
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Why are employers asking such stupid questions in there Job Applications and generally requiring volumes of information for a $8 an hour job?
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