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New program?

  1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    My sister sent me this one, I think it needs to be shared.


    INSTALLING A HUSBAND


    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
         Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
         NBA 5.0,
         NFL 3.0  and
        Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

    Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed,

    Desperate


    DEAR DESPERATE,

    First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

    Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the  Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0  should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

    However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to  Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
    Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

    In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
         Cooking 3.0 and
         Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Good Luck !

    Tech Support

  2. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    I find this so funny and think it would be a shame for you all to miss out on. So I shamelessly bring this to the top of the list again.
    regards Zsuzsy

    1. Isabella Snow profile image87
      Isabella Snowposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I love it, Zuz, very funny!

  3. RDHayes profile image70
    RDHayesposted 8 years ago

    Being very blunt, I do not find this funny at all. It's evidence that allot of women want to change and mold a man into something he isn't. Then he gets to live a life of lies in order to keep the women happy.

    I honestly can't say that men overall, try and make drastic changes in women, it's usually the reverse.

    1. StefanMDP profile image66
      StefanMDPposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Install:  Sense Of Humor 0.1

      smile

      1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
        Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        Stephan I agree that would be a good program to add

    2. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry if this touched a nerve...I guess everything is better with a large helping of humor

  4. RDHayes profile image70
    RDHayesposted 8 years ago

    Is there a program for men to install for women called Unconditional Acceptance Platinum version 3.9?

  5. Julie-Ann Amos profile image45
    Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago

    I just cut straight to the chase and installed Lover 1.0 which came without the need for a maintenance contract.  Unfortunately, it didn't come in English, but did have 5 languages (with English being one) and it fortunately has a built in intelligent communication package that meant the English got better with practise, although the sound is still a little strange to unfamiliar users.  It includes Unconditional Love, Total Acceptance, Tolerance when Enebriated and a Best Friend option. 

    I toyed with the idea of just buying Boyfriend, but it seemed a lot of effort and fiddling around to install, plus the probable eventual need to upgrade or reinstall, so I (rather impulsively for some) went straight for Lover 1.0.  Day One it arrived I took it out of the box, opened a bottle of wine to celebrate and see me through the install, and I haven't been parted from it since.

    I'm thinking of upgrading to a spouse subscription later this year, now I've tried it out and know I love the program.

    The Husband program is fine if installed properly.  Unfortunately, for dummies who install it hoping it will be a panacea for their own lack of skill and expertise, it will of course be unable to meet their ever-more demanding needs over time.  But they deserve what they get, judging by the level of bitching about a perfectly adequate product which let's remember, THEY selected in the first place. 

    In fact, it does seem to have a rather infectious associated bitching virus that can activate many different variants when installed, if the user doesn't know how to handle the software - not only making the user's life apparently hell, but infecting all their friends and contacts with moaning and griping too. 

    In my opinion.

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Glad to hear that your choices were the right ones Julie-Ann and also that the Lover 1.0 has an upgrade built in.

  6. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    Wow! That was a nice addition Julie-Ann smile

    If I wouldn't have already installed a Perfect Wife 2.0, I would definitely think about installing your version smile

    1. Bucro profile image50
      Bucroposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      I tried installing Perfect Wife 2.0, but the system crashed and I had to downgrade.  Luckily I uninstalled Gold Digging 3.5 and Whining 9.7 and replaced it with Go Make a Sandwich 4.5 and Mute 4.0.

  7. Julie-Ann Amos profile image45
    Julie-Ann Amosposted 8 years ago

    Bet you weren't brave enough to permanently install it Day One!  Bet you did a trial period first...

  8. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 8 years ago

    Oh sure, I took my time to make sure everything works as advertised smile

  9. profile image0
    SirDentposted 8 years ago

    Pro 17:22  A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.

    I enjoyed it. lol

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      It's all just in the name of fun.

  10. RDHayes profile image70
    RDHayesposted 8 years ago

    Yeah, actually it kinda hit a nerve, I apologize for coming off harsh. = )

    1. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
      Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      No big deal...its all in the name of fun only

  11. gamergirl profile image59
    gamergirlposted 8 years ago

    Some time ago, probably around a decade or so, I was given and installed a trial version of I Like Girls Too, and I can't seem to get it out of my system.  This has resulted in, after upgrading from Cheater 6.0 to Perfect Man 1.0, a series of errors in my Girlfriends.DLL files.

    I've since deleted all occurrances of Girlfriends.DLL and no longer receive the WantsToWatch~1.exe errors from Perfect Man 1.0.

  12. sinnersystems.com profile image55
    sinnersystems.composted 8 years ago

    Sometimes an upgrade is far worse than the old stable version of a program. For instance; my program Wife 1.0 ran without the use of much memory, but when I upgraded to version 2.0 it was a much smarter version and used more memory. I think Wife 2.0 came with a keylogger because everyone knows what I do now. Version 2.0 was so much smarter that I swear it even knew what I was thinking. So, be sure that the new version is what you really want, BEFORE installing it.

  13. shashigai profile image61
    shashigaiposted 8 years ago

    lol

  14. Laila Rajaratnam profile image72
    Laila Rajaratnamposted 8 years ago

    Zsuzsy, LOL..LOL..I enjoyed this, so so very much! Thanks everyone here ,for all those hilarious add-ons..LOL!

  15. countrywomen profile image61
    countrywomenposted 8 years ago

    I am waiting for the beta release 1.0 to be certified and then would go for the RTM version soon. wink

  16. RDHayes profile image70
    RDHayesposted 8 years ago

    I think the hardest program to remove from men is the multiple instances of Girl-Friend 3.2. This allows a guy to effectively have more then 1 girl friend at any given time. It's very pesky because it re-installs over and over again once you've deleted! LOL

    1. countrywomen profile image61
      countrywomenposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Then you have to go for clean install which will wipe out the previous version completely (upgrades won't do) wink

      1. RDHayes profile image70
        RDHayesposted 8 years agoin reply to this

        You mean, go to the command prompt and enter delete: c ? Then do a complete re-install?

  17. Bucro profile image50
    Bucroposted 8 years ago

    XD this is too much lol

  18. Zsuzsy Bee profile image86
    Zsuzsy Beeposted 8 years ago

    Sinnersystems.com
    ".......be sure that the new version is what you really want, BEFORE installing it." that important to remember that for sure.

 
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