When I was like... 16, I was depressed... or whatever a 16 year old gets. Basically I just wanted to hide... kinda the way I am now... Im a recluse at heart though everyone thinks Im so outgoing. So my mom took me to a therapist and she sent me to a place like that. They took me to my room and the girl had taken all the paper off the wall and she wrote all over the walls... "Im in hell!" etc... Oddly enough I felt a whole lot better after seeing that, never even checked in and asked my mom to take me home. She said, "Are you sure?" I was like... 'get me out of here.' You got the feeling like unless you needed a lobotomy that it was gonna do more harm than good. Im sorry it didn't help in your case. I hope you're doing ok.
Oh, I'm fine. My mental health falls within acceptable societal standards, I assure you. Some people find a lot of value in institutions and mental health professionals. I, on the other hand, prefer a DIY approach. Every major issue I've ever had has been resolved by buckling down and dealing with it myself. Its just my way of doing things.
Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 8 years agoin reply to this
I was actually confessing to quite the opposite, actually - LOL! Joking aside, I also suffer from an acute anxiety disorder. Managing it is one of the greater challenges of my life, but I still consider myself to be blessed.
I have a relative in med school who passed his second year boards at top of class. He recently delivered a baby and got to touch a beating heart in open heart surgery. Also, a publishing company is following me on Twitter. Maybe they will make me famous haha.
I am a woman. True story. My first name is Jennifer. My nick name is Jaty as in chatty cathy mixed with jennifer.. LOL I sometimes post online as a man to see if it chances how people treat me. My phony last name is because our mother always used to say keeping up with the robertsons becuase our neighbors were rich and named robertson.
LOL I can not believe Jen told everyone that. Jen lives up the road from me. My thing no one knows. When I was a kid I used to pick the fuzz off of anything that was soft. I have several snuggle bears that are totally clean of any fur.
I was on the Art Linkletter "Kids say the Darndest Things" show-- probably the only kid on the history of the show that didn't say something funny. I got a pair of roller skates for my appearance. Mom was bummed out because one of the boys got a bicycle, but I loved the skates.
I DID have a great childhood-- Wonderful parents and sister and aunts and uncles and cousins who all liked each other. We were not wealthy, but I didn't know that. In fact, when I finally learned the facts of life-- I was really surprised that people didn't have more kids when there was apparently something you could do to facilitate that. Life was fun and wonderful.(I had originally thought that if you had a baby, you were just lucky, or something.) What I didn't realize was that a lot of people did not have the happy family and loving parents that I had.
I fought against being an educator-- I had seen what kids do to teachers. "Accident and circumstance" eased me into education as I became a parent volunteer in the school of my children, then was hired as a classroom aide, then went on to full time and long time substitute, and sub teacher trainer. Odd, isn't it? In college I started as an English major-- then changed because i realized that would make me a teacher. I changed to an art major (art history) with a journalism minor. Oddly enough, I did take some educational psychology and art education classes as electives.So I guess it was in the cards or stars.
I haven't published anything new on HubPages in a very, very long time. I want to come back so badly, but I have so little time and I'm afraid anything I publish won't do well because this really isn't a great place for writers anymore. (I'm not saying this is the case, I'm just identifying it as a fear.)
Trying to think of something that can be published without offending the site censors or sounding boastful.... But I can actually confess to what you suggested in your opening post, although I am happy not to hide my name.............
It was a mercy killing at the request of the "victim"!
My father inlaw had lung cancer and was in a huge amount of pain and struggling to breath - the doctors could do no more, he was in his last weeks and could not take any more. He asked me to overdose him on his morphine so I did..
I don't feel guilty about it, nor do I feel that it was wrong - a human being should not have to endure the pain that he was going through when there is clearly no other option and no opportunity to be cured. He thanked me and slept.........
wow. Now you can literally hear jaws slamming to the floor. Ok everyone, LeanMan wins most shocking confession. At least you were man enough to do it. Despite the technicality that I am a woman. I am not man enough to do that. Not even close.
It is a terrible way to go, in someways though more terrible to watch. I would never want to go through it myself, nor would I ever let someone suffer through it if they did not want to. I think some of these European countries that allow assisted suicide have got it right for cases like this..
I did not find what I did hard, nor did I ever have nightmares or anything else, it really was a mercy, it was harder to watch him suffer and I would have had nightmares for ever if I had refused his request. I know that some people would think that what I did was wrong, but then they will likely have never been in that situation. We don't let animals suffer like that, so why should we do it to people?
Im a firm believer that it is up to God to give and take life, but I understand why you did what you felt you needed to do. I don't judge you... it's not my place. I can't imagine being in that place. Im sorry.
If god exists he gave us an intellect and the ability to act - we can choose to act and cure a disease so why not choose to act and end suffering if there is no other option? That's my opinion anyway.. lol...
My former mother-in-law in the Netherlands was assisted by her doctor. It was not spoken of then, but done with good conscience. Family members did not object, when there was no hope and only more pain to come. She just went unexpectedly after the doctor visited. I think everyone was spared suffering...
Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 8 years agoin reply to this
Believe me when I say that I am not trying to make light of your experience, and I feel for you for having been put in such a tough spot, but ... You realize that you just admitted to murder on a public forum, right?
Although "lean man" might be difficult to find in the US, a land filled with white ppl, "lean man" might be easier to find in say... Saudi Arabia, where I believe he resides. He seems a reasonably intelligent guy though, I think the laws are different there.... but I'm just guessing.
Earl Noah Bernsbyposted 8 years agoin reply to this
Well, it was certainly a tough spot to be put in, and my heart goes out to him. It's not my place to pass judgement or come down on the guy. We all make our choices, and then live with them — that's what free will is all about.
I was a cat person until ten years ago. I made many outrageous arguments regarding cats' superior intelligence to the smarts of dogs. Then I got a border collie.
Now I am ashamed of myself, but I can't admit it to those that heard my arguments. "Cats are smarter because they use a litter box," or "because they won't be told what to do." "Cats have servants and dogs are slaves...".
I still love my kitties, but they really aren't very willing to please... Now my dogs have a slave of their own - me lol. So much for that argument.
I never hear anyone say they are a turtle person. Turtles get a bad rap in my book. I am not a turtle person, I am more a chipmunk person. They are cute fast, cleaver, and very cute. Did I mention how cute they are?
I used have a pair that used to love sitting on my shoulder and my kids loved them too... my neighbor at the time was a terrible snob, and freaked out when she saw them.. she tried to get a petition together to the owners of the estate that we lived on to try to force me not to keep them - stupid woman!! A month after we moved out I returned there with 20 young rats and posted them through her letterbox at 3am!! I really feel sorry for those rats but it was worth it.. lol
On Dr. Pol there was a couple with a rat who had tumors, and finally was at his end. They were heart broken. At first I though, a rat? Then I thought, yes, they love it; I really never had a pet rat, maybe they are more loving than I know. I was sad for them and their loss. I hate to see people lose their pets.
I have issues with both chipmunks and turtles. When I was 9 or so, the cats had abused a chipmunk near the pool. Here was my Disney moment; I could catch it and make it my friend. I caught it and it bit me. In fact it was hanging off my index finger by its 2 front teeth. I cocked my arm back and flung it forward; the chipmunk crossed the pool, hit the deck, slid and went running. Now I was too ashamed to tell my parents I might have rabies. I worried for the next month.
Last summer a giant ( 1 foot long shell) snapping turtle appeared in the play ground with my dogs. I would not have noticed it, but the dogs were wild. I tried picking it up to remove it and it jumped - high and long. I was shocked. Then I thought to hit it with a stick, piss it off and have it bite the stick and drag it out of the play ground. Nothing doing - he just hissed and hopped. Scary he was. I rounded up the dogs and we left by the other exit.
I guess my next confession is cowardice in the extreme when it comes to wildlife, especially ROACHES.
I have had 5 abdominal surgeries. Not many people I know have had any! Appendectomy, exploratory (following a severe car crash), cholecystectomy, myomectomy, anda c-section. I am fit as a fiddle and I am grateful to God. That appendix ruptured and the hospital was in the process of discharging me. the crash was severe and I needed the respirator. The gall bladder gave me a 105 degree temp 3weeks after the birth of my son. Grateful to be alive and well!!!
I appreciate the thought, Beth37, but no, please, NO! -- we now live in the woods. We have plenty of deer, squirrels, raccoons, skunks, possums, coyotes, gophers, moles, chipmunnks, foxes, turtles, frogs, lizards, innumerable insects and various kinds of birds:--raptors, waterfowl songbirds and insufferable woodpeckers. We have even seen an occasional bear and bobcat. Our small dog is constantly entertained.
Not like prehistoric -velosoraptors --The raptors I'm talking about are hawks, eagles, owls-- the Saw Whet Owl, subject of my children's book, is about the size of a soda can-- so cute, but still a predator.
Oh geez I sure hope not. Thankfully I'm not an English Major and papers are rare. Though, interestingly enough, if a paper has nothing to do with school, I find that I rarely procrastinate over it, i.e. Hubpages etc... Nice meeting you as well.
OK, Beth....I didn't think I had anything worthwhile to report (or divulge) until I read through this long....LONG thread. Now I have something to say that even I didn't know: You and I have a VERY rare trait, in common. I don't often admit it or discuss it, but I TOO am a "recluse" at heart. Absolutely no one who knows me ( or better said, "thinks" they know me) would ever guess this or believe this about me...(either.) Yes, because I am friendly, outgoing, gabby, helpful and very active.....like you, it just doesn't "look like," at my very core, I adore solitude, peace, quiet and being my own person.....a "loner," so to speak. The reason that this rare trait is not often admitted to, is because being a true recluse is erroneously believed to be "unhealthy," both mentally and physically. Nothing could be further from the true reality of it. The pure truth is that this is a positive sign of complete mental and emotional stability....and no bragging here, but usually people like US have a genius IQ. The vital fact to understand is that there is a complete world of difference between VOLUNTARY seclusion and solitude....and a FORCED and/or unwanted seclusion. Yes, this may be common sense...but many people would still argue it. With the years, experience & knowledge under my belt, I do know what I'm talking about. BTW....and FYI.....this trait of ours becomes stronger & more important as we age....so, now you know what to look forward to, young one. I am extremely happy and grateful to be this way.
lol. I am happy to be at an age and stage where I can totally indulge myself in my off-grid reclusive lifestyle with my husband and my youngest child. Other than close friends and family, nobody is allowed to bug me. Unlisted phone, post office box, oh the delights that the modern age brings us.
Promise I have something to look forward to? I think maybe we are not alike in that you are a genius and healthy and I am a bit mental. lol But if you tell me it's a good thing, I will believe you and look for bright days ahead.
By all means, believe me. I'm going to assume you are joking somewhat, when you refer to yourself as "a little mental?" More importantly, to the ear (in this case, "eyes")of a professional, "a little mental," encompasses a multitude of human issues.....not all of them, negative, BTW. What I'm able to surmise, is that you are highly sensitive, compassionate and led by empathy. Perhaps you associate these traits with weakness....thus, you feel "a little mental." Pls don't make that mistake. The entire world desperately needs more individuals like you. Trust me.
Im just teasing. I think at best Im empathetic and at worst Im lonelier than Id like to be... but life's full of seasons... we just keep muddling thru from one to the other. Im due for a really good one I think. Thanks for your kind words.
I am hygiene obsessed and cannot stand any pests in my house (There isn't any). I just love the characters so much (especially Jerry) and have no problem watching them again and again. They make me smile every time I watch them. And for your information, I am 42.
I was visited by some kind of spirits in the night before. I saw their form beside me, hovering nearby when I was alone in my room and had just turned out the lights. It scared me horribly and I started shouting, running for the door. My sister came to help me, and neither of us could open the door (she on the outside). I struggled but the door (which had no lock) was firmly held. This went on for what seemed like ten minutes though I'm certain it was a matter of seconds. It was not my only encounter, and not the only time I felt hair raising presences in a room. Once, when I had a visit, a large mobile fell from the ceiling, on top of me. Another time, a plant stand fell over on top of my very pregnant belly when I was resting in someone else's home. I don't have these occurrences anymore, and I'm glad, and I don't talk about it. Most people would think I'm crazy. I'm not. I don't think I'm the only person who has had this kind of thing happen. I did seek out counseling on how to deal with it, because I was afraid of my own place and I couldn't sleep well. I'm glad I did.
You're right... my first thought is, "She's crazy." But I do understand. A few years back I was very sick. Hallucinations were one of the side effects. (It was not a mental disorder, but a physical one.) Anyhoo, terrifying is a good description and I couldn't imagine something like that could have ever happened to me, a plain Jane, but at the very least, it's just another one of those things you make it thru that gives you compassion for others. Im sorry you had to go thru that.
You're so right, it does give me a lot of compassion for people. I had to laugh at your first response though. Funny, if you look at what I write on hubpages you'll see that I'm a perfectly normal individual who just had some abnormal experiences early on in my life, no doubt mostly due to the fact that as a child growing up I was pulled into some weird supernatural practices which I no longer practice.
Hi, everyone. A few of you may know I got two books published a couple of years ago by a publishing company. The company was awful: they didn't edit or proofread, insisted I had to do marketing while they raked in almost all the profits, and got shirty when I suggested changes. I ended up dumping...
Why do gays have to come out? why do they need to tell everyone?I get fed up hearing about gay rights, gay whatever.I don't find the need to tell everyone around me that I'm not gay; I doubt if anyone cares, so why do they make such a song and dance about it?
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