Jealousy towards other Hubbers.

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   Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years ago

   Nearly a week ago, I read Kylyssa's achievements, and it made me want to say mean things to her. She's way higher than me, and has mastered the art of writing. I wish there was a way of dealing with jealousy. Instead of saying mean things about her, I complimented her, but at the same time, put myself down. I need help.

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      Marketing Meritposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      You did the right thing Ivan. Kylyssa's success should be viewed in a positive manner and motive you to succeed. However, you should never put yourself down. We are all unique and have our own strengths and abilities. You should focus on these.
      
      Learn to be inspired by what others have achieved and recognise the work ethic that has gone into their individual success. Jealousy will eat you up. Positivity will make you thrive.
      
      Best of luck!

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Yeah, but I feel like plankton in an ocean. Kylyssa is a shark. She'd eat me alive.

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            Marketing Meritposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Believe me Ivan, we have all felt like plankton at some point in our lives! Success doesn't happen overnight. What sets people apart is that some are prepared to dedicate their time and effort into becoming sharks.

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            Marisa Wrightposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Kylyssa was not a shark when she began writing.  She had many obstacles to overcome and she did a lot of hard work.
            
            Reading your Hubs, I think your mother has encouraged you to think you can do anything, because of your high intelligence.   But intelligence is only one of the attributes you need to be successful.  You also need skill, and that does not come magically out of thin air.  You have to study and practice and it can take a long time, even for highly intelligent people.

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      poppyrposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Success doesn't come overnight. It takes hard work, being open to criticism, learning, and crafting your skill to find any kind of success here. Write about topics you're interested in, use social media to spread the word, use SEO titles, and you'll start to bring in money eventually. It can take years for this to happen.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         what does SEO mean?

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            makingamarkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Sorry Ivan - hard work also includes being able to look things up on Google rather than waiting for other people to tell you the answers.
            
            Just plug "SEO" into Google and you'll get your answer.

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               Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

               Are you trying to make me look bad? Are you saying that I'm not smart? If you are, then I suggest you try to at least sound a bit more supportive, even you you are supporting me in an insulting manner. I'll look up what SEO means, OK? I believe it's Search Engine Optimization.

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      Mariashaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Every successful person has the determination to become successful. If you keep writing and learning someday you will achieve what kylyssa has achieved. She started writing in 1970s when she was only 3 years, I guess! Imagine how long she been writing! lol

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         I already read her article and commented on her article. Also, I'm getting really jealous of another person. 9 articles, 3 of which are submitted to niche sites. I've been here for 11 months, and not one of my articles got submitted to a niche site, and I will never again submit another article (to another niche site or write another article ever). As long as Hubpages is running, I will fail.

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            poppyrposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Writing really isn't for you if you are just going to compare yourself to others all the time.

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               Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

               I'm sorry, OK. I have a personal flaw, but I'm not a mean person.

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                  Mariashaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                  If you always keep assuming that you will fail then you will fail. You shouldn't be afraid of failing because all the successful people have failed in their lives but the positive thing is they have never gave. Excuse me but if they were view things from your perspective they would have been losers now too. They wouldn't have succeeded or achieved anything!

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                     Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                     Apparently, one of my articles has made it to a niche site, so there's no need to feel jealous anymore.

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                        Mariashaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                        Oh Good luck. Should I get jealous from you now? Lol

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                           Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                           No.

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                  SweetiePieposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                  Maybe rather than compare yourself to others, start thinking about why you want to write online. A lot of really talented and great hubbers have gone on to have their own blogs where they post their expertise on various topics. Hubpages still has its purposes, but perhaps having a blog where you explore a niche topic that you are passionate about will give you freedom and autonomy to figure out what you want to write about without constantly being in the competitive mode. Start writing posts on the blog where you share expertise about a subject people are looking for, and you will garner followers. You can also link to your hubs on the blog, and potentially get more readers here.

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                     Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                     how do i write blogs? which site is best for blogging?

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                        poppyrposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                        I recommend Wordpress, but I know people use Blogger, too.

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                        Marisa Wrightposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                        If you would like to write a blog:
                        
                        Decide what you want to write about.   It is important to choose a subject that you know a lot about, because on a blog, you have to write lots of short articles, all about the same thing.  For instance, you might choose Science as your subject, and if you do that, then all your articles would be about science. 
                        
                        Sign up for an account on Wordpress.com, choose a name for your blog, and start writing. 
                        
                        The trouble with a blog is that you won't be able to earn any money from it, you will just be writing for enjoyment.

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                        SweetiePieposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                        I purchased my own subdomains, but two free places to start a blog are WordPress and Blogger.com. The cool thing about WordPress is they actually have meetups, and I am thinking about going to one soon.

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      mike102771posted 5 years agoin reply to this

      There is a song from R.E.M. called everyone hurts. It’s only natural to feel like you’re never going to do as good or better than your peers.  I am not in your particular group but as a dyslexic I can understand the frustrations of that “less than” feeling when others are doing so much better (even if that is more illusion than fact). Believing in yourself does not mean you need to not believe in others.
      
      Just try this, before you post something imagine it was something someone was saying to you. Would you want some stranger saying that to you?
      
      Life is the worst race there is because no one wants to reach the finish line.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rOiW_xY-kc

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      Sherry Hewinsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      It is only natural to feel jealousy. There are not many here who cannot look around and see others who are doing better.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         i have an article that 145 people viewed in less than 19 hours. i dont feel jealousy toward anyone anymore. kylyssa, the main target of my jealousy, is now my friend and my follower. i apologized for my jealousy, and she accepted it. im no longer jealous.

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      Kylyssaposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I didn't publish the comment in which you were mean to yourself. It made me uncomfortable, so I hit delete. Try not to tear yourself down.
      
      I don't even see writing that way, as some kind of competition. Writing is speech to me. When I publish something online, I'm just trying to be heard, not trying to push anyone else down or out of my way.

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         Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Out of all people, you are one of the kindest people in the world. We perfectly understand each other. I'm sorry I got jealous at you. I didn't know any better. A lot of people are (secretly) jealous of me because I posted an article that's got over 300 views in a week. If any person is jealous of me, I want them to speak to me in a nice, calm manner.

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   Mariashaposted 5 years ago

   I think there's a healthy jealous that would push us to achieve positive things as the people who we get jealous from. By the way, you can read an article by kylyssa what makes her enjoys
   Writing  https://hubpages.com/literature/How-I-F … ing-Groove

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   Chriswillman90posted 5 years ago

   I get jealous too but I'm also happy for those who are doing a lot better than me, it's a great motivator.
   
   There will always be people who you're jealous of just how there's a lot of people who are jealous of you.

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   SmartAndFunposted 5 years ago

   Patience is a huge part of the online writing game. It takes time for your articles to find traffic, and it also takes lots of trial and error to see which of the subjects you like to write about draw traffic.
   
   I think you are off to a great start with your articles. You have a good variety of topics, and I'm guessing at least some of them are probably really good ones to write about because they're not already saturated on the net (just a guess).
   
   Keep writing about a variety of things that interest you. If you see a topic that takes off traffic-wise, write more articles about that topic, or related to that topic. Those articles will bring more and more traffic to each other. For example if your Bray Wyatt WWE article starts getting good traffic, write more articles about him if you are able to get more (different) information about him, and/or write more biographies about other WWE personalities. All the while, keep writing about other topics that interest you, and you may find another topic that takes off, an then repeat as described above with more related articles on that topic.
   
   It takes lots of time, patience, trial and error, but eventually you will get there if you keep working.

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   FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

   Don't get caught up in the "So-and-so is doing better than me" game. Just worry about your own stuff.

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      gmwilliamsposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      +1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

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   Kiss andTalesposted 5 years ago

   I am overwhelmed of your truthfulness and honesty of your feelings on this subject
   But the best thing is to continue in your journey of education never giving up until you reach your goal of success.Sometimes we just think people are instant with talent with no work at all. But the truth is that person had to start somewhere as a beginner and continued their education intil they reach their goal, we can never know what it took or how much it cost them to reach their goal on any subject .
   The price could have been more than we could pay.
   Think of all the things you are very good at . Some one may feel the same about you.

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Who is jealous of me? I wrote in Kylyssa's article, but instead of criticizing her on her work, I criticized myself. I hope Kylyssa is my friend, but I'm still jealous of her. I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm looking for approval.

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         viryaboposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         I don't think you need anybody's approval to achieve anything in life. And I've never believed in the jealousy-is-healthy mindset.

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            Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            I know.

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   susanzhengposted 5 years ago

   Jealousy is the worst thing to people who are jealous because it eats people's minds. Hope you can expand your thinking by reading some good books. In this enormous world, there are a lot people who are much better, in one way, or another,than us Some people are smarter than us, some people are more handsome than us, some wealthier, some better in speaking, some better in writing etc. If we feel jealous to these people, how can we focus on our own self-improvement? In addition, I think and believe that you are better in many ways than others, Am I right?  Keep on good writing, you will become better and better.

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   FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

   I just took a quick look @ your profile and it sez one of your articles is on Soapboxie... which is a niche site. So quit the pity party.
   
   
   
   Now you're just being a drama queen. See ya (waves).

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      WHAT?!!!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?!!!!!

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      i have an article that has over 120 views in less than 16 hours. this is the first time that ive had that occurrence. read the title. its at the top of my profile, under the in the spotlight page.

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   emi sueposted 5 years ago

   I find myself jealous of people like you.  Who seek attention and receive it.  Very clever, Ivan. I'm lucky to get three responses when I post in the discussion. My day is kinda ruined.

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      Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Don't be. Jealousy is a poison that infects all of us. Look at Kylyssa. When she started, she didn't fit in. Now, she's an awesome writer. I looked at one of her articles, and read her article, yet I still felt kind of bad. My Paris Accord article got picked up by a niche site, and I never even knew it. Now, I feel like a complete idiot...And I'm sorry you feel like that. Engage in discussions. That's what I do. Don't let jealousy eat you alive, like it did to me.

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    paperfacetsposted 5 years ago

    I have not seen a huge success with my writing. However, satisfaction is up there near the top on my Scale for Achievement.
    
    Congratulations on your article to a niche site. Keep working and don't get too satisfied.

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    blueheronposted 5 years ago

    I have had to accept that I have no mechanical aptitude. In fact, I have an irrational fear and loathing for most things made out of metal. I don't feel that this makes me a lesser person than my auto mechanic--a guy who is a genius in that field. I think I am a pretty good writer, but I was not born a pretty good writer. My auto mechanic was not born a mechanical genius. Skills have to be learned. All skills. You won't become skilled at any craft "without really trying." With most of them, you just have to fail until you succeed.

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    emi sueposted 5 years ago

    I really enjoyed this discussion, actually.  I find you humorous, as I hope you did me.  Good luck here at HP! I'm glad that you're work was featured on a niche site.  I'm sure you earned it!

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       thank you. i hope your work gets featured on a niche site as well.

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    Jeremy Gillposted 5 years ago

    There will always be someone with more views or more niche site articles, and it's not fair to compare people who have only recently started to seasoned Hub-veterans. Comparisons in general should really be avoided.
    
    If I made $400 a day with my writing and you made $1000, objectively I look great but next to you I look unworthy. That is, unless we adopt a healthier, non-comparative mindset.
    
    Forget how others are doing; as long as you're having fun and receiving at least some views, that counts as a success.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       thank you for clearing the air for me.

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    jackclee lmposted 5 years ago

    Search engine optimization. Custimize your website to get better ranking by search engines like google... I am dubious of some recommended techniques...

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       profile or articles?

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    Will Apseposted 5 years ago

    People who say what others feel but are afraid to say are often attacked. So, hang in there, Ivan. You are doing the community a service.
    
    See where it goes.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       im not jealous anymore. thank you.

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    Titiaposted 5 years ago

    Being jealous is just a waste of time, it will drain you from the inside out and it will destroy all your creativity. If someone is a better writer than you are and therefore earns a lot more money, that's only a fact, nothing more. Being jealous won't change that fact, it will only change you.

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    mireland19posted 5 years ago

    That is not entirely true! There are many people who are making very good money blogging! It just takes a lot of time, dedication, and great content! You can use services like Adsense to make money, you can sell services or advice, charge membership fees for certain areas or privileges and if you generate enough traffic everyday companies will pay you to advertise their product or even post their content on their page. I knew a mother who had a VERY successful blog and she simply wrote about the daily hardship and truths about being a mom, now she has companies sending her things for free to try and give good review on her blog. In addition, many parenting websites have interviewed her and paid for her to guest blog. There is money to be made from blogging and Autism is a HUGE topic right now because it is just now becoming understood. There are literally hundreds of thousands of parents whose children are being diagnosed when they never would have been twenty years ago. Furthermore, many parents would love a fresh perspective from someone suffering from Autism who can give them the facts about it but in a personal (this is my experience) way. I think he could do quite well with a blog and Video blogging, OMG! People are making MILLIONS just taping themselves doing everyday things, answering questions, and acting foolish! Crazy, the things that go viral now a days!

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       theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       Calm down... Marisa is talking to a complete blogging novice. Yes, of course we know that there's money to be made, but if you are just thinking about starting a blog, and using one of the free sites, then it's unlikely that they will earn anything for a while. Once they become familiar with blogging, then is the time to think about monetizing.

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       Marisa Wrightposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       Of course there are people who have made money from blogging.  However, it is getting more and more difficult.   
       
       When you look at success stories of people who get paid to blog, always look at how long ago they started out.  It's far, far more difficult for people starting out now.  For one thing, under the new rules, Ivan won't be able to get approval to use Adsense on a blog now, because he has approval for HubPages and that's that.

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          Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          Way to remind me of that. Marisa. I hope I'm not insulting the very name of this website, but are you saying that a blog is superior to Hubpages?

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             Marisa Wrightposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             That is a hard question, Ivan. 
             
             If you are prepared to work long hours every day, writing, dealing with readers and advertising, doing maintenance work on your website, and learning new things, then a blog can be superior to HubPages.  But it is a full-time job. Not everyone wants to devote all their time to it. 
             
             If you want free time to do other things, then writing on HubPages is probably a better option because you don't have to study so much, and you don't have to worry about dealing with advertisers or working on the technical maintenance of the website.

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          makingamarkposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          I don't make money on my blog
          
          I've made money from writing because of my blog eg was commissioned to write a book for a not inconsiderable sum; got commissioned to write a series of articles for a leading magazine etc
          
          Thing is you need to prove
          (a) you can write and
          (b) you can get followers and
          (c) you can keep them.
          
          Then people ask you to write for them.

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             Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             I've had 15 followers, but now I have 14. That means that someone doesn't like me at all.Well, At least I have 2 articles on 2 separate niche sites. That's more than enough to satisfy me.

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    Pearldiverposted 5 years ago

    Writing successfully will never occur for any aspiring writer, irrespective of where they submit their works, if that party chooses to embrace the hollowness of jealousy or self doubt and then allows those negative emotions dictate the format and value of their work.
    (Unless of course their best efforts are only designed to appeal to a Troll culture). 
    
    If you wish to take the art of writing seriously, you must not only take yourself seriously, but also seriously evaluate the qualities of those you consider to be more qualified than yourself from a positive perspective.
    
    When you can objectively identify and respect the qualities required to succeed, you should have no room left for jealousy, envy or negativity - If you're serious about writing and are 100% honest with yourself, then all your energies will become focused on learning to develop your writing skills.
    
    We each grow only to the limitations we place upon ourselves. From reading this thread it seems you have chosen to disadvantage the numerous opportunities you have here to hone your skills. Good luck is not what it takes once you understand the craft.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       relax. im not jealous anymore. ive learned from my mistakes, and grew stronger.

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          Pearldiverposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          I'm a Kiwi mate...
          Believe me no one is stressed on this end. We are pretty laid back people down here and not just because we're currently in the process of parading the America's Cup throughout NZ. 
          The comment I made was actually deeper than the depth it was taken I think... but hey... it's not the first time in 8 years here that my accent has been misinterpreted.
          Look forward to reading about your imminent success now that you've cured that perceived growing issue Ivan
          Always believe you can and then in time, when it is meant to be... You Will.
          Take care up there
          PD

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             Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             thank you for the support.

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    Whispering Nightposted 5 years ago

    There is no need to be jealous about others or think less about yourself

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       You're right. What was I thinking? My jealousy started because I read Kylyssa's achievements, and I wrote about that. I expressed myself to others, and I got praised, while also nearly getting myself in trouble in the process. I want to thank everyone for making this thread the way it is. I'm not jealous anymore, and that's that.

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    Terrielynn1posted 5 years ago

    Hi Ivan, just publish what is important to you. make it as clear and interesting as you can. do some research and make sure you spell check and correct grammar errors.
    I am dyslexic and two of my children have a genetic disorder that is on the autism
    spectrum. Just do what you love and keep at it. I have had a couple people unfriend me after they didn't like a comment I made. But it's okay, they have their opinion I have mine, it makes life interesting. No big deal, life goes on. Have a good day.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       Yeah, but I lost a follower. It could've been Kylyssa. It could've been anyone.

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    Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years ago

    I just found out that Blogging Momma's article was featured on HealDove's main site. I'M JEALOUS!!! I've never had ANY of MY articles featured on the main page of ANY SITE!! That means that I'm a failure. Her autism article was better than mines. Her article got 8,000 VIEWS IN ONLY 2 DAYS, WHILE MINE GETS 47 IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME!!!!!! I want to say bad things about her, but that would ruin my reputation at HubPages for life. WHAT DO I DO?!

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    OldRosesposted 5 years ago

    Don't be jealous of other hubbers.  Use them as teachers.  Study the articles that are featured on the main page.  See how they are written.  Observe how they are organized.  Make note of their photos/illustrations, how they relate to the articles and how they are arranged on the page.  Then try applying the same principles to your own writing.  Good writing is something that is acquired by both practice and study of good writing.

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    Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years ago

    I've never researched in my own life. That's something that can be taught, but never mastered. I've never gotten the same number of views that I got days later. I'm just never going to make it to HubPages. I've got another article coming up. maybe you can review the article. Hopefully, it reaches 20 page views in 2 days.

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    FatFreddysCatposted 5 years ago

    Here's an idea: stop worrying about what other writers are doing, stop comparing yourself to them, and most of all, quit being such a damn drama queen.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       I'm sorry. I have a personal flaw. Jealousy is my weakness.

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          FatFreddysCatposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          Believe me, we've noticed.

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             Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             Then please understand this...I might never stop comparing myself to anybody else until I leave this site. Many people already want me gone.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       Don't you understand? I get jealous on just about anything.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       I can't help it. And would you quit intimidating me? It's getting to the point where I'll never write another article again and leave HubPages for good.

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          Jesse Drzalposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          Stop looking at other Hubbers if it bothers you. You have received a wealth of great information and advice. People have gone above and beyond for you more than they have for others. It's time for you to leave these forums and WRITE! Run free young man!!!

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             Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             You mean leave Hubpages.

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                Jesse Drzalposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                No. Write more articles and stay. You're wasting your time in these forums now.  Use it for what it is meant..tech discussion, things of that nature. Other than that don't use it. You don't need it now.

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             Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

             And I can't leave these forums until I get perfect advice.

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                theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                If you keep going like this, people will simply ignore your posts. Is that what you want?
                
                This is a grown-up forum and you must act like a grown-up. So instead of pressing Submit, give it 20 minutes and see if you still want to post your initial responses. Try offering your congratulations, then visiting their hubs to see what they are doing right. Use what you learn to work on your own hubs until they are the best they can be.

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                Jesse Drzalposted 5 years agoin reply to this

                Did you not read Sherry Hewin's advice on the other thread? You won't get more perfect advice than what she typed for you.

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    Chriswillman90posted 5 years ago

    Her article must have been excellent then to receive such praise, you should congratulate her success not sham it. They deserve the praise.

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       Ivan Hernandezposted 5 years agoin reply to this

       My articles are excellent too. Scratch that. They're subpar.

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          Jesse Drzalposted 5 years agoin reply to this

          It's getting old, Ivan. You've been doing this for close to a month now. I would imagine others are getting tired of it too.

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